An Urban Wellington Run in Pictures

If you want to see this run as it actually unfolded, you'll need to scroll to the end of the post and read backwards. I always forget which order Blogger uploads photos in! Anyway, today was another Wellington-on-a-good-day. It's the middle of winter and ok, the weather's supposed to pack in tomorrow, but we've had several days now of perfect conditions. I was feeling good after yesterday's bike ride so decided I'd run the City to Sea trail from home, the reverse direction from the run Jo and I did a few weeks ago. Last time I felt terrible on the hills and walked a lot. Today was redemption time. I'm pleased to say I did, actually, run most of it, including the hills. I redefined shuffle, but I worked it all the same!

So, the picture above is of the little trail that runs behind my office building, which is out-of-frame to the left of the photo. To my right is the motorway. It's a surprising little urban oasis and usually marks the end of my runs, not the start!

This is Wellington's oldest graveyard. The motorway was built right through the centre of it. A number of graves were dug up and the remains reinterred in a communal burial ground off to the left of this photo. At the top of the shot you can see the footbridge over the motorway, crossing over to the other side of the cemetery. Again, this is only 100 metres or so from my office.

At the top of the cemetery, looking back down the hill. There are lots of little gravel trails you can take instead of the main footpath seen here.

A busy day at the rose gardens, with the cafe in the distance. Everyone was out today enjoying the sunshine! When I had a sore ankle a couple of years ago I was limited to running on the grass, and used to do spiraling laps around, and around these gardens.

One of my favourite little trails, the Serpentine Path, again only minutes from my office.

My path today took me through the sculpture walk. Sorry for the low quality of my photos. I'm getting an iPhone in a few weeks, then they will improve! My current phone does fit well into my fuel belt though.

This photo isn't very clear, but there's a conical sculpture at the top of the hill. Someone is standing inside it.

At the top of the Botanical Gardens, with the cable car in the foreground. Below is Salamanca Park, part of the City to Sea walkway. So after all that climbing you promptly head straight downhill again!

Another little graveyard. I had no idea this one existed until I ran this way with Jo.

Very lovely!

The Aro Street shops. This is a very historic and lovely inner-city suburb.

A typical narrow little inner-city street.

Looking up the street. No offstreet parking here!

An urban run wouldn't be complete without urban graffiti. This on the climb up to Tanera Park.

And at the top, the dog walking area in Tanera Park, with lots of happy dogs! There is also a community garden here, but I seem to have deleted the photo accidentally.

From Tanera Park the walkway crosses Ohiro Rd and heads downhill into Central Park. This lovely little bridge is one of my favourites.

From the middle of Central Park looking down the hill towards the city and harbour.

From Central Park the walkway crosses over Brooklyn Rd and up Bidwill Street, rejoining the town belt as it skirts the edge of Mt Cook. This section is a mix of grass, path and trail.

Again, sorry for the blurry photo, but this is a rather cute little bridge over a city stream.

Running through a tranquil trail section of the walkway. Although there are pines here and there, planted by the early settlers, they are slowly being removed and replaced with natives. In places the pine needles made for very treacherous running, particularly where they covered and disguised a series of shallow steps. It would have been very easy to turn an ankle!

Out of the trail again and across the road to reenter the walkway.

Here's a good example of a stand of pine trees. One day they will all be gone, and tall native timber will have replaced them. The pines are slowly being replaced by trees such as Rata, however they are very slow growing so this is a long-term project.

Grass and gorse, more typical Wellington running!

You can see our house in this photo. I'm not going to tell you which one it is - you'll have to guess!

So, if I were doing this run in the order the photos are shown, I'd run down off this little knoll, skirt around the edge of Macallister Park, then plod back up about a kilometre or so uphill to home. Instead this morning I jogged slowly downhill and around the park to warm up. Much more civilised!

I took quite a while to run 10k today, but of course I stopped a lot for photos. I was very happy with how I felt and had a great time out there. Wellington on a good day really can't be beaten!

Matt Smith and Orbital at Glastonbury

I'm sharing this all over the place because it's quite the yummiest thing I've seen and heard for some time. Sure Matt's timing is all over the place at the start, but I'm willing to forgive him. Sigh.

I'm back on my bike

And I have the BIGGEST smile on my face. Even if we were riding into a stonking Northerly that had our pace down to 13kph at times. Seriously, that wind was nasty! However I felt strong. We only did a short ride today but I could easily have kept going. I felt sooo comfortable on Cleo, and Julia commented that I looked it.

This, this feels like a recovery milestone. I am VERY happy.

Another Race Report!

Damn those new tights are unflattering!

I ran the Harbour Capital 10k race on Sunday. It was cold and wet and I was glad I wasn't doing the half marathon. Knowing I was only doing 10k made it easy to get out of bed. My usual pre-race prep went to plan, right up till the point I discovered Hamish had left the headlights on in the Honda the day before and the car battery was most emphatically dead. One quick cab ride later I was dropping my bag off at the bag drop. Sarah found me in the crowd and we chatted till it was time to move out to the start line, at which point I realised I'd totally forgotten to put my Garmin on.

I was trying two new things this race. I had an Adidas cap on to see if it would help keep the rain off my glasses. I was nervous the Southerly would whip it off and so I bobby-pinned it to my head and had no issues. It has a super-long brim and kept the rain out of my face, though looking down had the effect of blinkering me and my face was hidden from the maraudering photographers. I was also wearing a pair of Adidas running gloves. It wasn't really cold enough to need them but I wanted to see how they felt. They ended up being lovely to wear and not at all too warm.


Sarah and I ran together for the first few kilometres but at a certain point she slipped behind me and was gone. I started out super easy, as I have a terrible habit of going out too fast and crashing by the time I get to Oriental Bay. It helped that I started near the back of the field, leading to a fair bit of ducking and weaving to begin with. As the field opened up it also led to me overtaking runner after runner. I kept picking off women, deciding to hit on any who were wearing the official running shirt. There were plenty of them so I wasn't stuck for choice!

In the end I felt good the whole way around the course. I sat at what felt like a slightly harder than easy pace and just went with it. I never lost any kind of mental battle out there. The whole time I knew it was only 10k. I knew I could run 10k, and I also knew Sarah was behind me and that I didn't want her to catch me!

I never saw Duck, who was out on her bike with the half marathon girls. I did however see another of the Les Mills trainers at Freyberg, and one of our squad members at Te Papa. Cheering and waving was called for. Round Pt Jerningham we started overtaking the half marathon tail-enders, and that was extra motivation.

Before too long the race was over. I ran a two minute PB, and finished exactly where I thought I would given how I was feeling during the run. I can run 10k several minutes faster than that, but I've never been able to run a race of that distance while feeling good, so this was a triumph more significant than the time. I placed 50% in the 10k field, and 60% of the 10k women and women in my age-group. I am such a mid-packer!

The rest of the day was mad. Hamish picked me up and we bought a new dishwasher before having lunch at Sweet Mother's Kitchen then doing the grocery shopping. Finally I got to go home for a shower. Soon after I left home again to have coffee at Diamond Deli with the lovely Marianne to talk about yoga and life. We talked solidly for an hour and a half and then the conversation came to a natural end and we went our respective ways (thanks Marianne if you are reading this - it was a lovely afternoon).

Hamish and I watched the season finale of Dr Who, then it was time to head out again to see Bill Bailey. The man is hilarious, intelligent and an incredibly talented musician and I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

Nonetheless I was yawning hard by the end of the show and happy to get to bed for a well-earned sleep. It occurred to me on several occasions that a few months ago I couldn't have dreamed I'd be enjoying such a full, rewarding day. Those were the dark days when I was stuck on the sofa in the midst of anxiety-induced vestibular disorder.

I felt truly blessed to have all those opportunities for celebration afforded to me over the course of one wet, wintery Sunday. And I haven't even told you about my return to the Tinakori Hills in my new trail running shoes yet!

Lost Generation

Spoke too soon

So, that little cold that I'd escaped? Well, yeah, I didn't. After a Thursday night on the dancefloor I woke Friday in full-blown lurgy. I spent the next four days almost entirely in bed. I was gripped with an overwhelming exhaustion which floored me. I didn't start to feel better until the Tuesday, when I gave in to whatever had its grip on me and just focused on healing.

My only activity during that time was a little yoga, having signed up for a 30 Days of Yoga challenge. I could have just chosen savasana, but the more stubborn side of me refused to. Instead I wheezed my way through downwards dogs, wondering where my arm strength was as I hovered down into cobra, gasping for breath through the warrior poses, collapsing into child's pose disturbingly often.

All this time I was still suffering from strangely restless, twitching limbs and a sense of weakness in my arms and legs. My doctor and I agreed it was time to wean myself off one of my medications, which is known for causing restless limbs. I downed magnesium and zinc, and slowly, even as I worried about more ominous causes of my symptoms, everything started to ease. As of today I'm still a little twitchy, but it's faded again into background noise.

Poor packing led to me missing the Jog Squad's Wednesday night run, so Duck's workout with my on the Thursday morning was the first in a week. I wheezed during our warmup run, but otherwise felt ok, and coughed a reasonable amount of gunge from my lungs.

Friday saw me sitting in a lunchtime RPM class. On Saturday morning I was up to join the Squad for a run round Lyall Bay. The half marathon girls had been out for 40 minutes by the time we met them at Maranui. Us 10kers were to run for 40 minutes, however I was still feeling slow, weak and wheezy, so turned around at 15 minutes and ran back into the Northerly. A passing male runner told me I was looking good (I wasn't), and the leader of a cycle pack commented on the brightness of my pink Adidas as he rode by. I was grateful for the support of random strangers as I staggered into Maranui, sweat dripping from my face, and waited for everyone else to join me for coffee.

On Sunday I ran the second of the Xterra runs, in the Rimutaka Forest Park in Wainui (leaving from the Harriers clubrooms). I had planned to do the medium course but with my lungs in their clogged state I opted to stick with the short. Jo offered to carpool, so her friend Dave and I waited together for her in a carpark in Taranaki Street at 7.30 on Sunday morning.

The weather forecast was for occasional showers, but someone forgot to define the word "occasional". In Wainui we were greeted with steady rain. It was even still dark at 8.00. We told ourselves that at least it wasn't cold and nor was it windy, so we merely sheltered under the clubroom veranda for as long as we could, only assembling at the start line as the race began.

Given the temperature I opted for a long-sleeved polyprop under my t-shirt and a sleeveless windbreaker. It proved to be the perfect combination and I was never cold, nor was I ever too warm. However I had a major issue with the rain on my glasses and spent a lot of the course fumbling half-blind, particularly in the bush where it was extremely dark. On the downhill sections, which were straight if somewhat steep, I longed to put my foot down but was reduced to fumbling my way blindly through rivers of rain. I really need to talk to my optometrist about contact lenses. There is no way I can't wear them again!

The short course would, had I been well, have been extremely pleasant. We ran across the sports fields and then down a short stretch of road before heading into a park along the side of the river. The one hill, sold as being small, was in fact quite long and steep. If I'd had any semblance of my normal lung capacity I would have attempted to run it, however I was wheezing like an asthmatic, so ended up walking a fair amount of the climb. Even on the flat I was occasionally reduced to walking to allow myself to cough up yet another piece of lung.

The rain continued to come down in ridiculous amounts. As the trail widened out the amount of water on it only increased. Eventually there was no point in even trying to dodge the worst of the puddles. There was a perverse delight in slogging through them. When I got home I dumped my old Adidas at the door and they're still sitting there I think they're dead.

Over the finishline I downed some water then squelched off to get changed. Too late I realised I'd forgotten a towel or dry shoes and socks. I settled on a chair in the clubrooms and waited for everyone else to finish. Duck, Jo and Dave were all doing the long course, so it was a long wait. They all eventually came in within minutes of each other. The conditions on the long course were, apparently, extreme, and the rain continued to get harder long after I was safe and relatively warm and dry in the clubrooms. That everyone found the run hard and hellish wasn't really surprising, given that the course was described as technical. Apparently the actual track was hard to follow, and a number of people wandered off in the wrong direction.

I came away feeling remarkably neutral about the race. On the one hand I was appalled by how much I'd had to walk. On the other, only a few days earlier I'd been confined to bed and wiped out by a virus. In the end I was glad to have been hard core enough to go out in atrocious conditions. I knew that my performance was not indicative of my true ability. I went home, had a long shower, and rationalised.

That, of course, wasn't the end. On Monday night I had another Squad run. We ran for fifty minutes from Te Papa out to the BP on Adelaide Rd and back. I was feeling a lot better and ran reasonably strongly, but had a series of traffic light break opportunities to catch my breath. I had a glimpse of my old runner self.

I had planned to do an RPM class on Tuesday but the weather was stunning so I chose instead to run 7k slowly around the waterfront in the sun. I wore my iPod and listened to a London Elektricity album so as to not have to listen to my wheeze. The dubstep turned out to be the perfect rhythm for an easy run.

Wednesday was wet and gloomy, so perfect for an RPM class. I misread the timetable and ended up having to do the class of an instructor I'm not overly fond of. I fumed as he deliberately ignored the official choreography. By the time I'd endured him instructing us to do the entire last hill climb out of the saddle I was livid. However I've been around long enough now to do my own thing. I got my own workout done, but the last track smashed my quads.

I had a break on Wednesday night then on Thursday morning I met Duck for another workout. It was another still and strangely mild morning. Duck took me down to Oriental Bay where we took a power bag and medicine ball down past the children's play area, where a series of concrete steps extend out into the water. It was a surreal and beautiful place to train. At the moment Duck has me vaulting walls. On Thursday this meant putting my arms onto a waist-high wall and vaulting my feet up onto it. At the start I thought there was no way it was ever going to happen, and I have a nice bruise on one knee to show where I tried and failed early on. Of course though by the end of it I was vaulting reasonably proficiently and feeling quite pleased with myself.

Add to that powerbag squats and thrusts, step ups, lunges in the sand of the petanque court (including backwards walking lunges, which are EVIL in the sand), planks, side planks, and evil, evil core work with the medicine ball, and some upper body work with the rope climbing frame in the playground, and I was happily smashed.

The walking lunges and a series of sprints up the ramp from the beach to the road left my calves feeling quite tight and my upper quads were definitely present. Unfortunately the day's workout wasn't over, as I still had to meet the Squad that night for a run. By mid-afternoon I was falling asleep at my desk. Thursday nights are usually a rest for me so both my mind and my body were protesting at the thought of more exertion.

To make it worse, only one of the other Squad girls turned up, Trudi. So much for running slowly at the back of the pack! Duck, Trudi and I set out around the Bays, running to the bottom of Maidavale then turning and running back. We started out slowly for 20 minutes, but after the turnaround something happened and the run back turned into a bit of a hammer fest. I kept glancing at my Garmin watching as our speed increased. Mentally I was finding it really hard, physically I was pleasantly surprised by how well I was coping. To run so powerfully on the race course after eight days of exercise? Now that was psychologically priceless.

By 9.00 on Thursday night I was slumped in a little pile on the sofa. I was feeling that good kind of post-exercise exhaustion, accompanied by a healthy dose of endorphins. I've really missed that worn-out kind of happy, and the deep, peaceful sleep which accompanies it.

Today and tomorrow are rest days. Sunday is the 10k race. I'm glad I'm only doing the 10k. I'm going to go out there and enjoy it then cheer on everyone else as they finish the half. Come October it'll be me running the Wairarapa Country Half, and come November, all things going well, I will be cycling round Lake Taupo with the Gearshifters.

And a miracle recovery

I felt my temperature break early yesterday evening and when I woke this morning it was difficult to believe I'd been sick. The first thing I noticed was that my back was almost pain-free. After that I realised that my sinuses were almost clear and that I seemed to have good energy levels. I packed a gym bag just in case, but told Hamish I realised I shouldn't really be exercising.

However as the day went on I felt better and better, and the weather was stunning. It was still cold out there, but it was clear and still and crisp - perfect winter running conditions. By 5.00pm I was full of enthusiasm for a run.

Unfortunately my subconscious seemed to know better. Not only had I forgotten my hair band, I'd also packed my most-padded cycling shorts in lieu of tights. There was no way I was running in those nappies. I considered RPM but I hate spinning without my cycling shoes and it's even worse to not have a hair band.

I figured the gods were trying to tell me something, so now I'm at home and there's chicken roasting in the oven. I'm still meeting Duck in the morning, and if it's still this nice out there I'll run at lunchtime. Worse things have happend.

In which I slightly break myself

Jo and I were set to run the City to Sea walkway yesterday, a roughly 12k urban trail run, starting near Parliament and finishing on the rugged Southern coast. In the days beforehand Hamish and I had been in Auckland staying with friends. We'd spent a long night/morning on the dancefloor and then spent the rest of the weekend lounging around on their sofa eating, drinking and watching movies. To say it wasn't the best buildup for the run would be understating matters somewhat. I should really know by now that I can't do that to myself and expect to feel good!

On Sunday before we flew back down to Wellington our friend, who is a chiropractor, offered to help Hamish with some back issues he was having. He sees a chiro regularly down here but the night on the dancefloor had put things out and he was dragging his right leg. My right hip was still niggling so I decided to give this chiro stuff a shot as well. There was a lot of loud cracking, which felt really great at the time. She also did something to my ankles to free them up, leaving me feeling like I was moonwalking.

We had a curry for dinner on Sunday night, again probably not the best decision. I spent Sunday night dozing fitfully and suffered the kind of night sweats I haven't had in about a year. I woke up feeling queasy and unrested, but I was still excited about the run. I couldn't really stomach much breakfast but had a spoonful or two of porridge.

Outside it was drizzly but surprisingly not too bad. The wind was coming from the North and it was warmer than it had been. It was forecast to go South later that night, but we though we had hours before the gales kicked in. The plan was for us to run the trail then around the coast to a cafe in Lyall Bay, where Hamish would meet us with dry clothes.

The walkway starts with a short, sharp climb through a graveyard and into the botanical gardens. By the time we got to the top we were already shedding layers. From there we ran round the perimeter of the university then down into Aro Valley. A short climb then took us through a park and community gardens, then it was out onto the road again, then through a series of trails in Central Park.

Crossing through Central Park we emerged halfway down Brooklyn Hill, then crossed over and headed through Prince William Park and past the Scottish Harriers clubrooms. As we came out of the shelter of Central Park it became clear the Southerly had arrived earlier than expected. As we ran through Prince William Park it was rapidly getting darker. As we crested a hill we could see dark clouds moving in dramatically over the harbour, and it became clear we would soon be getting very very wet.

After the clubrooms we ran through a narrow section of singletrack in the pine trees. This section was undulating with lots of stairs and pine needles made it very slippery. As we came out on Hutchinson Rd the threatening rain started to bucket down. We traversed a steep and treacherous climb up a grass slope to the top of a hill in Macallister Park. If Hamish had been looking out the window he would have seen us running long the ridgeline. By this point I was soaked through, cold, and my glasses were both steaming up and covered in rain. I could see nothing.

We dropped down off the side of the hill then jogged around the edge of Macallister Park to the bottom of Farnham Street. The next section of the track skirts the edge of the Berhampore Golf Course before climbing up an impossibly steep trail to Tawatawa Ridge, then drops back down again into Island Bay. I've written before about that steep section of trail. I slipped over four times going down it a few months ago. I wasn't keen to try going up it in this weather, especially when I was running blind.

It didn't take a lot of agonising to decide to abort and walk the kilometre or so up Farnham Street to home. We were as wet as if we'd jumped in the harbour, and cold. We then treated ourselves to brunch in Lyall Bay. Driving around the coast we were very very glad not to be running it.

Later that day I developed a sore throat then my sinuses started to block. This morning I woke up shivering with cold and aching all over. I've also managed to wreck my lower back, which is very stiff and sore. It probably wasn't a good idea to try to do that run right after an adjustment. Sigh.

I got up to go to work but couldn't stop shaking so went back to bed. Around mid-day I started feeling too warm. My stomach is also feeling less than solid. I feel well and truly broken! Outside it's around 4 degrees with a wind chill of -1. There have been reports of snow squalls around the city. Ede has spent most of the day on my lap, Gaffer and Tissy asleep on the bed.

I'm hopeful I'll be well enough tomorrow to go back to work, and I'll get my back looked at by either my physio or massage therapist. I doubt I'll be running, unless I experience some kind of miracle recovery.

I was suffering too much out there to take any photos, but a few other bloggers have done so, including here and here. There's also a Flickr photo stream, though the last few are of central Wellington rather than the walkway. It was an amazing run, and I think it's incredible that I can be in our capital city and yet still have easy access to so many great trails. I will be doing this again!

Xterra Race Number 1: A Race Report!!!

Wow, how awesome is it that I'm writing race reports again? Yes, it's true that I haven't been posting much here, but I am training again, and it's going reasonably well. For example, last Saturday I ran for an hour, on Sunday I spun for an hour, I ran Monday and Wednesday, did RPM on Tuesday and Thursday, did a weights workout and had a Duck session in Frank Kitts. Yesterday I ran for ninety minutes, which is the longest I've run in I don't know how long!

All of this has been done in the midst of some of the worst weather. There have been floods all over New Zealand. Wellington has had day on day of rain, freezing temperatures and bone chilling Southerlies. Somehow, however, I've lucked out and stayed fairly dry throughout my runs. I keep waiting for my luck to run out.

Yesterday the rain held off till we were minutes away from the end. The heavens opened up while we were having post-run teas and coffees and I fully expected that today we would get drenched. It continued to pour down all day and, after my run, I spent most of it on the sofa in tracksuit pants with a book. I did not believe I could possibly stay dry today. Against all probability, however, today was indeed rain-free. In fact there were even some blue skies. The wind, however, was strong and arctic.

I was signed up for the short course Xterra run today. The start of the race is only a couple of kilometres from our house. Given the conditions we were very grateful that a local school had agreed to allow us to use their premises for registration. As it was double the anticipated numbers signed up for the race, and we were all packed into a hall like sardines waiting for the start. The start was half an hour late.

The long, medium and short course races started about thirty seconds apart from each other, on Happy Valley Rd across from the school. Within minutes of going outside I was cold to the point of my teeth chattering. I was wearing a polyprop, t-shirt and windbreaker with a merino beanie. With my car directly across the road from the start I made a last second decision to ditch the windbreaker and put on my merino jacket. It was a decision I did not regret one bit, and the only time I got a little warm was as we ran back down the hill again.

The race starts with a roughly one kilometre run up a very gentle incline along the road to the base of the Tip Track. At the race briefing we were told most people walk the Tip Track, and this indeed proved to be the case. I have a new respect for my friend Jo who runs the thing! I ran the first 100 metres but then surrendered to the might of the crowd and slowed to a walk.

It took around 20 minutes to walk to the turnoff for the short course. The track was quite rocky and therefore not muddy, which was a small mercy. We were also sheltered from the Southerly. The track is very steep and my hip was hurting so I took it reasonably slowly. As the track snaked up the hill it was possible to see other runners (and walkers) far ahead, so it was best not to look, or instead to look down at the landfill below.

As we got to the turnoff we were hit by the full force of the wind. This part of the track wound its way along the ridgeline, with views out to the Cook Strait. The Southerly was whipping in fiercely and it was all we could do to stop ourselves from being blown off the side of the track. It was extremely exhilarating but the wind made my eyes water terribly so that it was also a little difficult to see!

The track turned into a mix of long grass and clay, deeply rutted and with young gorse growths that attacked and bloodied my ankles. I wanted to take the downhills faster but it was just too slippery and, after nearly going over, I resigned myself to a conservative pace. To add to that my vestibular disorder was manifesting visually by making everything jump up and down in front of me. This was disconcerting enough to slow me!

After a while we hit a gravel four wheel drive track and I was able to speed up a little. We wound up at some kind of signal shed, where we turned around and ran back up the track. The woman in front of me stopped about 20 metres of the turn around so I made it my mission to overtake her. I did so and never saw her again.

After the brief out and back the track turned sharply down the hill back towards Bata Street. This would have been a great section to have really opened up the pace but the gravel surface was more than a little treacherous. I zig zagged and chose my path carefully and kept my footing the whole way. It didn't take too long to get to Bata Street at all, given how long it took to get up to the ridgeline.

From Bata Street we turned right onto Happy Valley Rd again and ran down to Owhiro Bay. Here I decided to overtake a woman in front of me so put on a burst of speed. The last kilometre was flat, into the headwind along the coast to the Red Rocks car park. It seemed to take forever and I was ready for it to be over.

Finishing was rather anticlimactic. I ran over the timing mat and had my chip removed. We finishers were all huddled in the new display area in the car park, sipping on sports drink, sharing war stories and sheltering from the wind.

After I finished I found myself in an extremely good mood. I'd had an absolute blast. I had gone into the event not worried about whether I walked or where I placed. I'd enjoyed myself, I hadn't fallen over. I'd gotten out of bed on a cold winter Sunday and explored a rugged, exposed part of the city. This was an excellent race!

One of the Squad girls, Karen, gave me a lift back to my car and I drove happily off home. After a hot shower I'm on the sofa in my tracksuit pants again. The central heating is going. Hamish is cooking pancakes and bacon. There is cider in the fridge. Life is pretty good really!

Some Spin and a Run

I was extremely pleased with how I felt after Saturday's run. I wasn't sore at all. I was, however, rather sleepy. I went to bed mid-afternoon and slept for a couple of hours. For someone who has battled sleep issues for the last seven months this was absolute bliss. I even woke up at one point with Ede perched on top of my hip. She'd crawled up there and I hadn't even noticed. That nana nap got me through a night out on the town, and I eventually got back to bed at 2.30am.

Naturally I also slept late on Sunday morning, not waking till nearly 9.30. Hamish made pancakes and I walked up the road for a paper, indulging in a little weekend laziness as the rain came down steadily outside. Mid-afternoon I got my lazy butt off to the gym for an hour of spin. I plugged in my hill playlist on my iPod and sweated it out for an hour. I didn't use too much dial - just enough to get my heartrate up a bit and to get myself a little sweaty.

As I was leaving I bumped into some friends preparing for a two hour charity RPM class, and there was a free bike. And the instructor was urging me to join them. However I had no fuel on me and the car park was closing before the class ended and, well, doing two hours of RPM after an hour of solo spin when I'm still on the comeback trail just wasn't sensible. It was hard to say no but I managed it. I turned around and hit the showers and spent the rest of the afternoon uploading a heap of new music onto the iPod.

The hour on what must have been a slightly badly set up spin bike did, however, aggravate my knee a little and I also woke this morning with a slightly sore back. I was feeling a little sluggish when I met up with the Squad tonight to do a few warm-up shuttle runs in Frank Kitts. It was another nice evening. It had been raining half an hour earlier but the rain had eased off and it was warm and still.

Tonight's run was a simple out and back - twenty minutes down to Spotlight and back. We were supposed to aim for a negative split on the return. I wasn't sure what my legs were going to do but to my surprise they decided they wanted to play. I felt strength tonight that I haven't felt since before the surgery. It wasn't just my legs either. I could actually feel my lungs expanding again.

The three speedy members of the squad got ahead of us as we passed Capital Gateway, but I found myself running with another young blond woman in the same pair of Adidas running tights. We kept pace with each other all the way to Spotlight, then when we turned around I picked the pace up a little and got slightly ahead. I stayed ahead until we were back at the railway station then she caught me at the lights and we kept pace again the rest of the way back to Te Papa. We slowed a little after we crossed the road back onto the waterfront as we started concentrating on conversation rather than tempo. However we put in a mini-kick from Frank Kitts to make it look like we were really working it. In the end we had a tidy negative split, which surprised me.

I'm going to have to keep an eye on this knee. I'm conscious that my fitness levels are quite possibly coming back more quickly than my muscle strength, and it's crucial that I don't allow myself to get carried away and injure myself. I'm also aware that I'm running in a different Adidas shoe from that I've traditionally used, and that may be a factor. However hey, I'm having fun.

I'm doing an RPM class in the morning and I'll either do a Balance class or some weights on top of that. Duck's discouraged me from racing back into the two-a-day workout habit I used to have. I still need to do weights, but I need to fit them in before or after the run, and do a trimmed down version of my former programmes. It is all still about moderation at this point.

My first 'long' run

This morning I had my first 'long' run with the Jog Squad. The members who are training for a half marathon were meeting at 7.40a.m. to run for twenty minutes before meeting the 10k runners. I'm only planning on running the 10k in June, but a couple of the girls in the squad who run at my speed were going to be there for the early start and I decided I'd join them. I had no idea how well I'd do, as I haven't run for much more than half an hour in around eight months.

I had a couple of glasses of wine last night at work, but stuck to water once I got home. However I did eat a rather large serving of Dal Makhani for dinner and wasn't sure how my stomach would feel this morning. I've always been a notoriously bad morning runner, and have had a lot of early morning stomach issues.

I lay in bed all night listening to a steady downpour of rain, and it was still dark and damp when the alarm went off at 6.30. I lay there wondering what the heck I was doing! However sheer stubbornness got me out of bed. I made a small bowl of porridge and let that digest before heading out to meet everyone at Te Papa.

To my horror the two girls I was to run with didn't show. As Duck took off with the three 'speedy' runners I told them I'd just hang back. However all went well. I had no stomach issues and, after a creaky first few minutes, I found myself running at their speed and only about ten metres behind.

It was a good morning for running. The rain held off, there was a slight northerly and it was pleasantly mild. I ran with my windbreaker on in the wind, and took it off when it was sheltered. We really have been lucky with the weather so far this winter.

Our little group of runners headed up Kent Terrace and into the Basin Reserve. Duck sent the other girls on and she and I turned back slightly earlier. I realised I was feeling really good. I kept feeling good all the way back to Te Papa, where we picked up the rest of the group. It was a flat run this morning and we headed off round the bays. We ran twenty minutes out then headed back.

On the way back I got a second wind around Fisherman's Table and picked the pace up to pick off some other runners. By the time we were back at Te Papa I was ecstatic. We'd run around 10k and I could easily have kept going.

We headed off to Mojo for tea and coffee then I did a bit of grocery shopping before heading home. Hamish was just getting ready to head off on a job, so it felt like old times. After a shower and (for old time's sake) a pie and cider I spent the rest of the day alternating between reading and doing housework. At around 3.00 I curled up in bed and slept for a blissful hour or so.

I'm really happy with how quickly my fitness level is returning. It's tempting to sign up for the half marathon but my track record with the Harbour Capital event is not the best. I'd rather put in a good, solid 10k and focus on the Wairarapa Country Half later this year. It's good to be back though!

And now, for your viewing pleasure, the first of Gaffer's cat cam videos. Here he hangs out in the hallway before heading down the side of the house, into a neighbour's property, back across the bottom of our garden, into the neighbour's property on the other side of our house, and then heads up our stairs. In future installments he will wander widely through a range of strange backyards.

Tap Tap, Hello?

Just a quick note to say sorry for disappearing, and yes I will be back. I owe you an update. To briefly summarise, I'm back running with the Jog Squad and have had three training sessions with Duck. My fitness levels are returning reassuringly quickly, even if it did take several days for me to be able to straighten my arms after our first workout in Central Park. Duck's also had the squad doing lots of high intensity stuff (hello eight stair climb repeats and eight hill sprint repeats) which is really helping.

Psychologically I'm doing a lot better, physically I'm learning to work around my vision and balance issues. I'm even considering attempting to get back on the bike. I'm also planning big. Hamish and I had always said we want to get out of New Zealand while the Rugby World Cup is in town next year. I've been looking for a convenient European marathon and it looks like Berlin might be a goer. I wanted to do a larger international marathon and Berlin has 40,000 participants, plus you get to run through the Brandenburg Gate.

As I'm sitting here it's raining outside on a surprisingly warm Friday night. After a couple of glasses of wine and a curry (not quite what I had planned) I'm hydrating in preparation for our first 'long' squad run in the morning. I'm going to run with the half marathon girls, even though I'm only planning on doing the Harbour Capital 10k. I'm confident I can hang with the slower members of the group over the distance, however opting for the longer run means I have to be at Te Papa and ready to go at 7.40. All that and Hamish and I are supposed to be going out tomorrow night. I have a funny feeling something is going to give!

Gratitude #50

Today I'm grateful for RPM. Today was my first class in over six months and boy was it soooo good to be back. I'm not just talking about being grateful for being back on a spin bike. It was just so good to be back in the gym environment again. People kept asking me where I'd been and I had to say that I'd had surgery, while trying to avoid saying that it was brain surgery, cause that just all makes it sound too dramatic. Of course Fi (hi Fi) says that it was and is all dramatic. I guess so ....

Anyway, Jude was the instructor, Fi rode the bike next to me. She hadn't done a class in ages either so we were both feeling it. Poor Jude had to fall back on her iPod after the CD player died but did well to improvise on tracks she hadn't prepared. We had brand new spin bikes to play with, which was nice. They were very smooth and a lot quieter than the old bikes but I couldn't get the handlebars and seat close enough together so was very spread out.

I did still have to battle the vertigo on the bike but as long as I kept spinning and tried not to think about it I got by. It helped to close my eyes, oddly enough! I didn't put as much dial on as I could have but that was never the intention of this class.

There are times when I feel a million miles away from normal, but there are times like today where I think I can still get on with 'normal' life even without the feeling of normality. That makes sense, right?

Gratitude #49

Today I'm grateful for emails from friends. I'm grateful for being stubborn by nature. I'm grateful for the wisdom to go easy on myself. I'm grateful for Google. I'm grateful for oversized red hoodies on cool nights, and for warm Drymax socks. I'm grateful for living vicariously through the lives of my colleagues, particularly the ones on the market for a new house. I'm grateful for Open2View satisfying my general nosy streak. I'm grateful for a glass of Pinot Noir in front of the television as I wait for Hamish to come home.

I'm grateful that I only have to wait a week before I see my Neurosurgeon again. I'm grateful for hope.

Gratitude #48

Today I'm grateful for escaping a cold, overcast and windy Wellington for warm and sunny Paraparaumu. I got to sit on the side of the airfield while Hamish got three more glider flights under his belt. He's at the point where he's having to learn some scary stuff now. Today he was practising stalling (nose down plummeting towards the ground, gulp), and stalling while banking, then recovering. Today nearly made him vomit again!

Apparently he gets to practice pulling out of a spin next. Er, rather him than me.

Today I'm also grateful that the tow plane broke down AFTER his third flight, and before it took off with a first-time passenger in the glider. Poor guy had to go home without his flight.

We had a beautiful drive home with the setting sun turning the surrounding hills flame orange, gold and apricot. When we got home it was still cold but the weather had improved somewhat. All the same, it's pyjama weather!

Gratitude #47

Today I'm grateful for waking up in time to wake H up so that he wasn't late for work. I'm grateful that it was such a nice day that I couldn't bear to stay inside. My running gear was at work so I stopped in at the office and got changed then headed out for a run. Today I ran while listening to Pitch Black on the iPod.

It was a stunning day today and a great day to be outside. There was no wind and the sky was cloud free. The fountain was spraying water in Oriental Bay and there were kayakers everywhere. The water was so clear that I could see the bottom for several metres out.

I walked down to the Meridian building then started running. I made it to Herd Street before I felt a 'ping' and felt a certain slumping feeling. One of my bra straps had come unhooked! I slowed to a walk and ducked into the toilets at Oriental Bay to put it back in place then started running again.

I ran round to Maidevale Rd then up and over and down Carlton Gore. I walked one tiny little stretch half way up but didn't really need to. It was a psychological thing. I wanted to take it easy on myself!

Once I got back to Freyberg I stopped to walk again planning to finish my run there. However that didn't last long as I wasn't really in the mood to walk. I started running again and picked up the pace till I was back at the Meridian building again. It was hot and I was sweaty and I even got a little sun burned, but I was happy.

I stopped off quickly at the NW Metro in the railway station then jumped on a bus home, ate left-over Channa Masala, showered, drank a cider and messed about the house for the rest of the afternoon. My metabolism went a little crazy on me and I wanted to inhale everything in sight but I limited myself to a little fruit.

Today I am grateful for running again!

Gratitude #46

Today I'm grateful for my A & E visit. There was only one other person in the waiting room when I got there and I was taken to a cubicle within minutes. I was then promptly seen by a nurse, then assessed by a very sweet student doctor. She and another doctor then gave me a good work-up. The student doctor made a bit of a mess of taking my blood, but I didn't hold that against her. I was then taken quickly for a CT scan, where I was able to go straight in and didn't have to wait. The CT scan was very brief and I was then taken straight back to my cubicle. I dozed a bit (yes, actually slept without the aid of sleeping pills), and before long was assured that the scan looked fine and was allowed to go. So, no explanation for the headache, but at least I don't need surgery.

Outside I walked into a wind and cloudfree day. I walked into town for a late lunch then walked to a local fruit shop on Cuba Street. A bus arrived minutes after I got to the Victoria Street bus stop. When I got home Gaffer curled up on my lap and was still there when Hamish arrived home and ordered Indian.

Now I am back waiting for my Neurosurgeon, Neurologist and Opthamologist appointments. I'm grateful for being home tonight and not in a noisy hospital ward.

Gratitude #45

Today I'm grateful for pain killers. I'm grateful for a beautiful autumn day and for a vegetarian chickpea dish for lunch. I'm grateful for the fact that I don't have to do anything other than lie here on the sofa tonight. I'm grateful that, whatever else is wrong with me, I don't have to languish on an organ transplant list.

Gratitude #44

Today I'm grateful that I'm not sitting in a hospital waiting room right now. I'm grateful for the staff at my medical centre, including the receptionist, nurses and my GP. They organised to fit me in today even though they were booked out. I'm grateful for my GP giving me a bit of an examination and then leaving it to me to make the decision whether to head off to hospital or not. I'm grateful for pain killers.

I'm playing a waiting game now. Hopefully the pain will just go away and I can get back into recovery mode again.

Gratitude #43

Today I'm grateful for being able to go home sick when my headache got too bad today. I'm also grateful for snuggly cats and curling up under a blanket on the sofa with a crossword puzzle and a bowl of tofu and rice.

Gratitude #42

Well, yes, I missed posting a NaPoWriMo poem yesterday. I guess I've dropped out already. Talk about a major commitment fail. In my defense, I've had a headache since seeing Alice on Saturday night. To add to that, my eyes have been bothering me and a general laziness has overcome me as I've slipped further into holiday mode.

However this is a gratitude post, so here goes. I'm grateful for meeting Jo to watch the film Boy together yesterday. First off, I even drove there. Sure, it's just a couple of kilometres down the road to Brooklyn, but it's the first time I've felt confident enough to drive since I got out of hospital in December.

Boy was a wonderfully sweet film. If it's on near you I recommend seeing it, particularly if you were, as I was, an 80s child. It's worth it for the mash-up of Thriller at the end alone. It is a beautiful piece of New Zealand film making. The children are absolutely believable and totally captivating. It's definitely worth the hype.

I'm also grateful for the new Dr Who. I love him already. I know he was a controversial choice because of his age, but I think he was born to the role. I never thought I'd get over the loss of Chris Eccleston, then felt the same about David Tennant, so to be so impressed already is really saying something.

Today I'm also grateful for a beautiful late afternoon walk. The day had started off chilly and windy but by 3.30 the wind had died down almost completely and the sun was out. I wandered off at a gentle pace. Kingston was almost completely silent. It was as if there were no one left in the suburb and it was hard to believe we were minutes from the centre of the city. I walked to Tawatawa Reserve and my old friend the Stone Man. The sky was big and blue above me, with just enough cirrus and the odd cumulus cloud to keep things interesting. I had a little love affair with the clouds as I walked.

From Tawatawa Reserve I walked west past the statue. I was attempting to find a route down to Happy Valley. I think it's possible but the path, as I'd suspected, got ridiculously steep after a couple of hundred metres so I turned round and walked back to the ridge top again. I was surrounded by fragrant gorse. Everywhere there were little white nursery webs. Cabbage moths and Admiral butterflies competed with sparrows and pigeons for space in the sky. A hawk circled lazily above the reserve.

Heading back towards home I skirted the perimeter of the Montessori school, thinking there might be a path from the edge of the playing field. However I was out of luck so I returned back along the road. It was the time of day when cats come out to explore, though none wanted to play today.

My plans for this week include reactivating my gym membership and hopefully also making it to a session of Mao's Last Dancer. I'm hopeful my eyes will settle again and that this headache will recede. I refuse to expect otherwise.

NaPoWriMo #3

Another Read Write Poem prompt. It's late and I just got home from seeing Alice in 3D. I have a headache and, although it's been a good day, I'm tired. I can't concentrate enough to write anything serious today. I thought about writing a haiku, but I'll save that as my get out of jail free card when I really need it later in the month. This is just a silly trifle, but it's another day ticked!


Fear
There were spiders
on the windowsill
and snakes on the floor,
Clowns in the hallway
and monsters behind the door.

She knew she shouldn't be afraid,
She knew she should be brave.
She knew that it was fear
That her darkest
Thoughts always craved.

So she kept on walking onwards,
She faced the demons in the night
She never let them beat her
And in the end she found
Her braver self was right.

The bats turned out to be birds
Flying free in the night sky,
The goblins turned to fairies
When seen in the first rays
of early morning light.

Gratitude #41

Today I'm grateful for yoga. A workmate invited me to her class and, after a few drinks on Friday night it seemed like a good idea. This morning I was nervous, not just about attending a new class, but about my vestibular issues. However I've been feeling so much steadier this week that I thought it worth giving a go.

Well, vestibular problems turned out to be the least of my worries! I felt weak and inflexible, podgy and the sight of my hairy legs kept bothering me. However it was the best ninety minutes in a long time. The class was small, the studio was airy, and the instructor was incredibly sweet. It was all very laid back, there was laughter, and no one was taking themselves too seriously. I have a feeling my shoulders are going to be sore tomorrow, judging by the effort I was having to put into my Downwards Dogs and planks, but the relaxed back bends we did were fantastic.

After the class I met Hamish at the supermarket then we had a quiet brunch at the cafe in Brooklyn. Tonight we have tickets to Alice in Wonderland in 3D.

I'm thinking I want to reactive my gym membership, and I'm also thinking I feel like I'm slowly getting myself back.

Gratitude #40

Today I'm so grateful for a long holiday weekend. I'm grateful for Hamish vacuuming then pouring me a glass of wine. I'm grateful for Easter eggs arriving in the mail. I'm relishing simply hanging around the house.

I'm also grateful for plans to try a yoga class tomorrow morning, although slightly nervous about the effect my vestibular issues will have. Hamish and I also have tickets to Alice in Wonderland tomorrow night.

NaPoWriMo # 2

Prompt number two from Read Write Poem

Fall
In autumn leaves
collected in the rain
water pipe so
that when the clouds
came, cumulonimbus,
the gutters overflowed,
spilling in curtains onto
the veranda outside their
bedroom window.
They dreamed of
rivers, waterfalls,
the sighing of
tidal estuaries and
they woke each morning
with beads of moisture on
their brows.

Gratitude #39

I am, once again, grateful for so many things today. So many that bullet points seem appropriate:

• A full, busy and interesting day at work,
• Reading - lots of reading,
• Buses that came early when I was also early,
• A Cuba street shopping mission,
• Finding the right t-shirt,
• A yummy rice roll for lunch,
• Finding out that a poem I was given wasn't from the person I thought it was, creating more mystery,
• Bumping into my old PT and agreeing to meet about starting training again,
• Organising some work-related training, possibly in Auckland,
• Being told by so many people that I look and sound so much better,
• Staying at work till late drinking,
• Eating heaps of potato chips, but everyone else eating just as many,
• Enjoying the pie I ate when I finally did get home,
• NaPoWriMo, and five fantastic songs shuffled on my iPod,
• Gaffer and Tissy both joining me while I was in the shower,
• Being just drunk enough to indulge in some caring and sharing at work,
• Project Runway,
• Weekend plans,
• Yoga plans,
  
• More reading.
  

NaPoWriMo # 1

I can't believe I'm doing this, but here goes ....

Sister
Finally, my
sister madly,
found her premonition
was not so true.
The voices in her head
woke up the dead.
They dug up
something buried in
her head.
Strangers were
banging on her wall
from dusk and till dawn.
She found herself smiling.
Outside the shit was
coming down.
Unable to explain
she could not risk
her neck again.
Outside there were
four seasons in
one day, blood
like rain.
She could make no
predictions, there
was only the
immediate pain
of sleeping on her
unmade bed.
The voices in her head
spoke to her, asked
how she felt, was her
love real, then they
told her they
believed in her.
They drove her from
her town and
she knew she
would be back
no more.
One thousand miles
from home she still
believed. My
sister madly, she
believed in the dead,
and the premonitions,
and the fools, and
the dawn, and
her heart.
And finally, when
there was nowhere
else for her to go,
where she could fee
safe and sound,
finally,
she lay in the land.
She lay in
the land.
She found her name.
She found where
she belonged.
She rolled home.

This is very much a 'found' poem, in that many of the lyrics are directly from, or barely adapted from, the lyrics of the songs themselves. This was an interesting experience as the songs on my iPod at the moment are those that my husband loaded for me during my hospital visit in December. As such they were songs he knew I would like, but not ones that I had loaded myself. They were all fairly safe bets though!

NaPoWriMo #1 done and dusted.

Here are the tracks:

Sister Madly (Crowded House, live recording from the Recurring Dream album)
Dusk Till Dawn (Ladyhawke)
Four Seasons in One Day (another Crowded House track)
I Believe in You (Cat Power)
Lie in the Land (Fly My Pretties - another NZ band)

Gratitude # 38

I'm grateful for fairly simple things today. I'm grateful for the amount of work that kept popping into my inbox today. I'm grateful for a good doctor's appointment. I'm grateful to all the people out there protesting against mining in national parks. I'm grateful for some down time to read "Mao's Last Dancer". I'm grateful for Laksa and a big glass of wine after work. I'm grateful for Tissy chasing a moth around the lounge. I'm grateful she left her dead rat out in the courtyard this morning rather than bringing it inside, and that Hamish got to the cat vomit in the hallway before I did. I'm grateful that tomorrow is the last working day ahead of a long weekend.

Gratitude # 37

I had another good day today. I was busy and on task all day at work. I had coffee with my manager. I had a healthy lunch. My eyesight felt slightly better and the swaying was almost completely absent.

It was another lovely autumn day so at 5 o'clock I put my running gear on. I told myself I'd run at an easy pace and just see how far I could go. I decided to turn back at 2.5k. Well, I started running and I didn't stop. I put Bop on my iPod and pressed play, and disappeared into my happy place. I kept it fairly slow but I never felt like I couldn't have kept going. After the turnaround I started picking people off. Sure, I got overtaken at the Tuesday run finish line by the two lead 5k walkers, but they were caning it so I tried not to let it bother me.

I ran. Only 5k but it was a good start and I can build from here. This is, I think, what recovery looks like. I am grateful for running and I'm grateful for recovery.

One for the Ex-Pats

Sam Hunt on the Cook Strait.

Grateful #36

Today I am grateful for this house. We weren't looking to buy when we found it, just to see what the market was like. We had an apartment in Auckland to sell and six months still to run on a fixed term lease in Brooklyn. However from the moment we walked through the door (the second house on the first day of looking) we knew it was ours This house ticked all the boxes. It had two bedrooms, a large study, and a large bathroom with a bath and separate shower. It was quiet and private and on a dead end street so safe for the cats. It had beautiful views and the kitchen had been modernised. However, more than anything else, it just felt 'right'. It spoke to the both of us.

This house faces East, sitting high on the ridge in Mornington. Below us we can see Macallister Park, Berhampore, Newtown and all the way across to Eastbourne. We can't see a lot of harbour - just little slivers here and there, and if you crane your neck it's possible to see a little of the Cook Strait.

The Southerlies blow in off the Strait. They whip through Island Bay and Berhampore, then gather speed as they climb the hill. They hit the side of our house, slip underneath it and lift it on its foundations. A huge storm hit the night we moved here and we sat in the draughty bay window listening to the howling outside and wondered what we'd done.

The Northerlies hit our lounge. They blow against the line of trees on that side of the house and rattle the window frames. Most days it is too windy to open any of the windows very wide, expect for those in the kitchen, which opens onto the sheltered courtyard. If doors are left open at either end of the long hallway leaves will inevitably blow in and linger down its length.

A few times a year the wind stills. On those nights we roll the dining table out onto the veranda, light candles and sip on wine while surveying our domain. On still weekends I throw up nearly all windows, with the exception of a cracked window in the kitchen, a painted shut window in the lounge, and the bathroom window which is too high to reach. The big old sash windows let the outdoors inside, and the walls seem to fade away.

From this house the world can seem a million miles away. We can hear the planes here, but they are off in the distance and below us. We can hear them firing up at 6.30 in the morning, except for the foggy mornings that shut down the airport and envelop us in their thick stillness. A flight from Sydney arrives at around 11.30 most nights.

A neighbour's dog occasionally barks. The odd car winds along the road below us. The three teenage boys living next door hold parties a few times a year which always end early because their parents' bedroom is right above. In summer they and their sister swim in their pool outside our lounge and she fills the air with her shrieks. Most often, however, the only sounds to be heard are the calls of Tui and Kaka.

This house is nearly 100 now. Its foundations are questionable and the retaining wall below is on a definite slant. The floorboards are thin from borer and the lack of insulation in the walls means it gets freezing here in winter. It's dusty and untidy and ramshackle. Cat hair lingers in the bedroom and outside Ivy, Wandering Dew and Blackberry are competing for space with native trees in the garden.

We said when we'd move in that we'd repaint the pink feature wall in the lounge and the overly vibrant blue bathroom. However seven years on we're only just starting to bring home test pots. Most of what we have done has been the necessary - replacing a leaky roof and an equally leaky hot water cylinder. We've taken on the character of this house as much as it has taken on ours.

This isn't a home for extravagant entertaining. It's a place to retreat to. It's a place to watch clouds gathering over the Orongarongas, and to curl up with a book and a few cats. It's a place where two people can rattle around and indulge in their own individual obsessions.

I am grateful for this house. For all its faults it has been good here. I sit comfortably within its walls.

Gratitude #35

I love early autumn. I love when the air is just cool enough to be crisp, where a long-sleeved merino under a long t-shirt feels cosy but not too cold or too warm. I love it when it's cool enough that my body slows down enough to feel ok about curling on the sofa. I love sitting here with our view over the mountains, Berhampore, Newtown and the Eastern suburbs. From here I can see the wind blowing in the Norfolk pine in our neighbours' garden. I can see clouds skudding through the sky - sometimes grey and threatening rain, sometimes clearing to a surprisingly clear blue. I can hear the odd wind gust in the line of trees along the northern side of our house behind me. In the study I can hear Hamish listening to a podcast while he plays some online game. The cats wander in and out and claim their little bit of lap space. On this slightly cool day my mental faculties feel refreshed. I indulge in a book of Barbara Kingsolver essays and the occasional TED talk. We have done our quota of housework for the weekend and there is nowhere I need to be, nothing I particularly need to be doing. Earlier today I planted out some cauliflower seedings into our garden. Now I sip on a glass of red wine, which warms me with its berry notes and its ruby tone.

Today I am grateful for idleness.

Gratitude #34

Today I'm grateful for clouds. I'm reading about them in The Cloudspotter's Guide, by Gavin Pretor-Pinney. I love the word Cumulonimbus. It always reminds me of the Crowded House song "When You Come". While I was sitting here reading today I was watching the clear skies turning into a solid level of cloud. Tonight it's forecast to rain.

Today I received a copy of my neuropsychologist's referral letter to the hospital's consultant neurologist, the one who does vestibular testing. Her letter was so amazing it made me want to cry, or to hug her on the spot. She wrote of me as an accomplished, intelligent and determined woman, and she accurately documented my symptoms as I have described them to her. I am grateful for having such an influential ally on my side.

Gratitude #33

Today I'm grateful for a narrow little inner city street filled with gorgeous little old houses. Wellington is a great place for that kind of exploring. It is full of secret little nooks and crannies and paths and shortcuts.

Gratitude #32

I spent today feeling extremely conflicted. It was a gorgeous autumn day, the kind of day which should not be spent in an office or on the sofa. I had a bag full of running gear, but I was afraid to use it.

Two things finally tipped the balance. Firstly, I had a follow up appointment with my new optometrist and we redid the test I did with him three weeks ago. That showed that the light box I have been using is working, and my field of vision is greatly improved.

The second thing that tipped the balance was my friend Sarah urging me via email to get out there. If it weren't for her I would have just given in and gone home. Thanks Sass!

So after work I put on my running gear in a toilet cubicle at my office. The second I put my gear on I felt like I was coming home. I felt a little joy rising inside me just from the very act of dressing.

I grabbed my iPod with the first Couch 2 Five K podcast on it and headed down to the waterfront. The instructions were to walk for five minutes, followed by eight one minute running intervals with ninety second rests in between.

Today I was grateful for rediscovering lost territory. Today I saw poems from a poet's walk exhibition. I saw the Len Lye wind wand, and it sprayed water on me. I saw ducks, lined up in a row on a wall by Waitangi park, and swimming in the pond by Te Papa. I saw other runners, I saw two buoys with shark fins attached. I saw a kayak class. I saw a little sand-covered terrier running along the sand of Oriental Bay. I saw cyclists. I saw the Bluebridge Ferry heading out.

I ended up not sticking to the podcast's instructions. I was enjoying the music too much and marveling at how good I felt when I was moving, as opposed to when I sit or stand still. The more surprised and pleased I was, the more I wanted to run. Although I didn't today, I'm confident I could still run an easy 5k.

All of this makes me happy. All of this I am grateful for today.

Mid-Week Poem

Finding Purchase
The dandelion seed
that blows in the wind
appears to have no direction,
no purpose to its travels.
Yet it carries with it
a single goal,
a sole motivation
to find purchase in
good soil and
to live.

I am not that seed.
I was travelling to
a clear destination,
and yet now I find myself
blown sideways, carried
on a sudden eddy.

So now I find myself
fighting to find purchase,
grabbing hold of any
blade of grass that
bends in my passing.

Now with no idea
of what I should be
searching for like the
seed I hold onto
a single goal, a
sole motivation
to find purchase in
good soil and
to live.

Gratitude #31

Today I'm grateful for John Campbell's pink tie. I'm grateful for the beautiful, high apricot clouds in the sky right now. I'm grateful for being inside this afternoon when the afternoon deluge hit. I'm also grateful for a car ride home.

I'm grateful I don't live near one of the proposed national park mining sites, and I'm grateful I'm not one of the beneficiaries who is soon going to be expected to find work or have their benefit cut. I'm also grateful for not being either 'impacted' or 'affected' in the recent office restructuring. I'm also grateful for living in a democratic country where people can speak up against policy with which they disagree.

Gratitude #30

Today I'm grateful for finally having the nerve to put my new glasses on, and for them not being anywhere near as difficult to adjust to as I was expecting. I'm grateful for all the issues that kept firing themselves at me today. I'm grateful for the 300m run in a long dress and high heeled boots, with bags over my shoulder, that got me to the bus just in time. Even if it did leave me panting much more than it should have done. That little sprint may just have convinced me I can try running again after all.

I'm grateful for all the usual things - especially food and wine. I'm always grateful for food and wine! I love having my appetite back. I missed it.

Today, most of all, I'm grateful for friends.

Gratitude #29

Today I am grateful for finally going through my poems and realising how many good ones there were.

Gratitude #28

Today I'm grateful for watching young boys practicing soccer at the local primary school. I'm grateful for the young Indian dairy owner, who recognises me now. I went there to buy some garlic today and she asked me what I was cooking. When I told her I was making a curry she started running through a list of ingredients. She is incredibly sweet. I'm also grateful for the curry - chickpea and potato, which is hotter than I'd intended but will provide me with lunch for most of the week. I'm also grateful for finally remembering to listen to the Richard Dawkins podcast I've had opened in a tab in Firefox, and for watching a fascinating TED talk on the neuroscience of vision. It's been a lovely, slightly humid day.

Gratitude #27

Today I'm grateful for a walk in the sun, and for cheerful taxi drivers. I'm grateful for cauliflower cheese and salad from the garden. I'm grateful for an afternoon spent reading, and for scanned honeymoon photos. I am grateful for yet again feeling a little bit better.

Oh, and I'm especially glad for the gift of a book written by a dear friend, arriving in the mail.

Gratitude #26

Yet another good day. I am grateful for drinks after work. It seems such a small thing - feeling well enough to relax with my colleagues. Not so long ago I couldn't relax, let alone sit there socialising and drinking Riesling. Laugh? Joke? All possible again. Plus my laptop no longer falls off my lap when I'm sitting here.

It possible I may, indeed, be starting to get a little better.

Gratitude #25

Today I am grateful for good meetings, and for writing a paper for our project board. I'm grateful that I'm enough of an interesting case that the two optometrists I've seen since the surgery discuss me at their get-togethers.

If I don't get better it won't be from the lack of exploring all avenues!

Gratitude #24

Today I am grateful for a whole day of meetings, for conversation on the bus, for the particular warmth of an autumn sun, for Pinot Noir, for homemade chicken pie, for central heating, and for feeling today that I might, honestly, be a little better. Just a little, but I'll take it.

Gratitude #23

Apparently, according to my psychologist, I have gotten better. This is the same psych who commented today that she could see how I ran marathons. Apparently I am very determined. I am grateful to her for telling me over and over again how well I am doing. I am grateful for actually feeling slightly better today. I am extremely grateful for The Lacuna. I am grateful that it didn't rain on me today. I am grateful that the cyclone seems to be missing Suva, and that my colleague who is there at the moment is therefore ok.

I'm grateful for quite a lot today. This is one of the better days.

Gratitude #22

Today I'm grateful for a good massage, a full day at work, lunch with a friend, and the last vestiges of a gold sunset over the Western hills as I caught a bus home. It was a beautiful evening, very much appreciated as I walked from the bus stop home. Perfect for some night cycling, and trail running. I promised myself that when I'm over all this I'll go for a run up in those same hills, on an autumn night just like this.

Oh, and I'm also grateful for reading on the bus, for the bus coming a little early, and for Hamish having dinner ready pretty much as I was walking in the door.

Gratitude #21

Today I am grateful for reading again. I bought Barbara Kingsolver's The Lacuna just before Christmas, but it's been too difficult for me to read. Skimming through blogs is about all I've had the concentration levels for. Today I've managed to read for shortish periods at a time, without having to struggle too much.

Hamish and I also took a huge load of stuff off to the Tip Shop and landfill. We stopped for berry icecream at the Happy Valley icecream parlour, and then bought some more test pots from Resene. We had lunch at Bordeaux then stopped in at Glengarrys to check out their cider range.

Resene Tea looks rather nice in the hallway, so I think we have a winner, and the cider wasn't bad either!

Gratitude #20

Today I'm grateful for smoochy, sleepy cats. Now that it's starting to get cool Gaffer and Ede have rediscovered the underside of the duvet.

I'm also grateful for not getting wet during my walk to Newtown, and for the lovely taxi driver who took me home. I'm glad I was able to make his day simply by giving him my supermarket petrol voucher, It wasn't like we were going to use it!

Tissy Takes Over the Kitty House

Gaffer has quite literally been in bed all day. Oh - no - he just got up. He's been there since snuggling in with me some time during the night. Oh to be a cat!

Gratitude #19

Today I'm glad I was inside when the big storm hit. Watching it approach was just mind blowing.

Gratitude #18

Splore Tree of Life

Today I am grateful for a massage, gifted to me by a friend. I am amazed and thrilled that I managed to lie face down for nearly an hour on the table, and also thrilled that my back, neck and shoulder muscles seemed to want to loosen up.

The feeling of well being lasted till mid-afternoon, and I had one of the better days I've had in a while. I seem to be repeating the pattern of a bad day followed by a couple of good ones. I am grateful for good days!

Gratitude #17

Clouds over Wellington a few nights ago.

I'm grateful for another good night's sleep and another day of beautiful weather. Is that getting repetitive yet? I'm grateful Ede decided to curl up in bed with me last night. I'm grateful for the rug Fi gave us which has replaced the ugly grey carpet in the spare bedroom. I'm grateful for Hamish, and for Hamish ordering Indian.

I'm grateful for the ability to read blogs, so as to live vicariously through the lives of others.

Gratitutude #16

Today I am grateful for memories of running along Oriental Bay on hot summer days, and jumping into Oriental Bay to cool off afterwards.

Gratitude #15

Today I'm grateful for not feeling as bad today as I'd expected, given that I didn't get much sleep last night. I'm also grateful for a good appointment with my GP, for a tasty pasta meal, for not having put on any weight and for another stunning early winter day.

Gratitude #14

I'm grateful for another good day.

I'm grateful for another sleep in. Hamish and I then drove into town to the Cuba Street apartment of some former Auckland friends of ours. On the way we bought apartment-warming cup cakes.

We sat around for a few hours talking, drinking tea and playing with their Ragdoll cats. After a tour of the pool, spa, sun deck and gym facilities we said our goodbyes. I'd been tracking an auction for a wardrobe on Trademe, but lost that. Just as well, as I promptly walked into Pixel Ink and discovered that they were now selling the Flox Robin print I've been lusting after for weeks. Hamish also decided to buy a print he has been eyeing up, so the store made a nice sale at the end of their day.

We stopped into Duke Carvell's for some small plates, a beer and a glass of Rose in the sun, all excellent. From there it was off home for some down time on the sofa.

It's been a great, sunny, warm yet cool autumn day.

Gratitude #13

Today I'm grateful for a sleep in. I'm grateful for a phone call from Hamish's mother. I'm grateful for Jo coming to pick me up, and our two and a half hour long walk from the Brooklyn wind turbine along the Sanctuary fenceline, then back along a gravel road and a narrow bush singletrack to the turbine again. Afterwards we sat in the sun in a peaceful bushy courtyard out the back of the cafe in Brooklyn. I had a big, cold orange juice and a salad with crunchy, salty duck.

Afterwards Jo and I tracked our trainer, Dave, found the Taupo Ironman, as he finished the bike and started on the run. I spent the rest of the afternoon tracking him, as he finally finished in a little over ten and a half hours.

Today I am also grateful that Hamish is on his way home.

Today has been a good day.

Gratitude #12

Today I'm grateful for the chance to try Phototherapy, or Syntonics. I'm grateful that my diplopia seem to have, in the case of the vertical, disappeared, and in the case of the horizontal, greatly reduced.

Hopefully all of this will finally start to make a difference.

Gratitude #11

Today I'm grateful for making my way through a full day at work. I'm grateful again for a beautiful late summer/early winter day. I'm grateful that Hamish is gaving a good time in Sydney, that my cold is easing up, and that Tissy woke me when she came in at 3a.m. so that I could catch her mouse and take it outside. I'm grateful for the fact that I already have plans for both days this weekend.

Gratitude #10

Today I am grateful for a stunning day. I am grateful this cold is abating. I am grateful for a good session with the neuropsych where she reinforced for me how well I was doing. I am extremely grateful for discovering Tiramisu flavoured Toffee Pops, though I suspect this will become a dangerous passion!

Gratitude #9

Today I am grateful that I still have enough of a sense of smell to be able to locate and remove the rotting mouse from under the bed. I am grateful for long hot showers, for getting home on the bus without my eustacian tubes exploding, and for being tucked up in bed.

Read Write Poem Prompt #116

Original Image Here

Carnival
At midnight
The carnival
fell to bed.
The ferris wheel
driver slumped
leg dangly over the
side of a faded
red car.
The mirror maze
man draped curtains
over twenty four
panes of glass
then another over
himself and lay
on the floor
to sleep.
In the haunted
house the ghouls
hushed their howling
and hung blinking
in the half light.

Under the even
ticking of a rusting
sky clock, the
silhouette of a
small girl with
candy floss in her
hand chased a
balloon through
the carnival's
dreams.

Gratitude #8

Today I'm grateful for having money to throw at this balance problem. Appointment number one with a new optometrist out of the way today, and another two hours of testing due on Friday.