Sunday, July 30, 2006


A long leisurely morning, breakfast in bed, finishing a good book, reading the paper...

Hamish says he's off to Soundline with Aviel to play with their X-Boxes. I contemplate staying at home on my own, but the cold doesn't appeal. Fifteen minutes later I'm being dropped off at Les Mills. My other, warmer home! I kill some time chatting to a policy analyst from work, and then it's 1.00 and I'm standing in Studio 1 about to do Bodybalance for the first time since my injury.

I don't know what I'm thinking. I don't know whether I should be here or not. This is supposed to be my day off. I don't know whether my physio will kill me, or whether this class will actually help. All I know is that I have a huge need to stretch, to breath, and to be with my body.

I was hoping for a lot of hip openers and back stretches, but we end up doing different poses from those I'm used to. We seem to do a lot of new balance poses. I really get into the Tai Chi moves at the start and end of the class. I position myself well so that I can see the instructor and I focus. I give myself the freedom to be cautious and to take the class slowly. I choose the easy options when I'm not certain of my injury. I don't feel frustrated when I can't balance on my right side. My left side seems more stable than usual. My breathing is strong and regular.

During relaxation my injury feels a little stirred up. I roll over onto my side into a back stretch and my body thanks me. Margaret taps me on the shoulder to ask me whether I'm okay and I tell her I will talk to her afterwards. We talk a little afterwards and I'm not sure that she understands why I rolled over, but that's okay.

I shower, put a L'Occitane conditioning treatment in my hair, and head for the sauna. There's only one other woman in there and she leaves quite soon. My sweet-smelling hair and I sit in the sauna on our own, my body feeling relaxed and contented and my mind wandering lazily. Eventually I leave, shower again, dress and wander out into the cold to catch a bus home...

My hip has settled down and feels looser. I have spent this afternoon either in bed or in the kitchen cooking. Now I'm sitting here on the sofa with a glass of wine and a polarfleece blanket. I've been contemplating doing some writing exercises from the Creativity Portal
but I'm feeling a little too lazy. I think I need some down time first. I've felt a little concerned about not having had the urge to write this week. I still worry too much about everything, obviously!

Yay for Fiddleback Wine, for homemade rice pudding, for dinner and great conversation with friends. Yay for tamarillos and Packham pears and Granny Smiths. Yay for leg presses and ab exercises on swiss balls. Yay for crosstrainers, and even for treadmills. Yay for massages and physio. Yay for great novels by intelligent female writers that make you think about your own life and what you believe in.

So what do you believe about yourself? Not just the good stuff, but the bad stuff as well. What beliefs do you hold about yourself that limit who you can be and what you can do? Why are you still holding onto that belief?

It's just a particle of potentiality... select another option! Get a new idea.... get a new clue!

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