I was sitting here reading other posts to Poetry Thursday when I was suddenly gripped by an amazingly vivid flashback. I felt myself physically return to a time when I was filled with fear and anxiety, and I felt my legs stiffening and the vertigo starting to grip my head. I felt that way for only a second, and then I snapped out of it again, but it was enough to just briefly throw me for a six. I used to feel that way all the time. I feel so sad for that scared creature. I wish I could hug her and make her believe that everything will be ok, and that, in fact, things will end up being pretty fantastic in just a few years.
I said tonight that I was still getting to know the new me. I'm not so sure I recognise the old me either.
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There are as many reasons for running as there are days in the year, years in my life. But mostly I run because I am an animal and a child, an artist and a saint. So, too, are you. Find your own play, your own self-renewing compulsion, and you will become the person you are meant to be. - George Sheehan
About Me
- Pip
- Wellington, New Zealand
- I'm a runner and a mum to far too many cats and two spoiled greyhounds. I am of late a very occasional writer. I live in Wellington in a ramshackle villa on the side of a hill. During office hours I do the public servant middle management thing and formulate my ten year plan to move to Central Otago to run the family vineyard.
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- Analysing the Half Marathon
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1 comment:
Interesting post. I used to have generalized anxiety with frequent panic attacks. It's hard to believe now because I feel so much different. Like you, I wish I could go back to the scared creature of my former self and say, "It's going to all be okay".
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