Friday, December 11, 2009

And more arghhh

Ok, I'll admit that I'm starting to feel a little sorry for myself now!

I put in a full day of work on Wednesday. I had lots of meetings to resolve lots of thorny issues. That night I ended up back at hospital again. My balance is going on me and I feel like I'm about to have a vertigo attack - all - the - time. So yeah, it's a bit draining.

I had a referral from my GP so went straight through this time with no waiting around. I had a CAT scan and was told it was fine. Given the option of a hospital bed or my own, I went home again and dosed myself up with a sleeping pill to get some sleep. It's impossible to drop off when you feel like everything's in perpetual motion.

On Thursday morning I was back at the hospital, where they admitted me to a bed back in my old ward. The woman in the bed next to me was regularly having some kind of full volume screaming fit, which led to me fleeing to the hallway each time. The nurses took pity on me and I was offered a room of my own which, of course, I took.

I was too far down the queue to have an MRI on Thursday and elected to stay in rather than head home again. Another sleeping pill and some medication designed to help with the dizziness (which made me groggy more than anything else). It took a while to drop off but eventually I managed it.

I spent a lot of today just sitting around waiting. Finally I was able to have the MRI. If you can imagine how it might feel to be constantly dizzy, then to have your head shut into a small tube and stuck in a loud imaging machine for 20 minutes then you'll understand what an ordeal that was. I was quite panicky and shaky by the time they were finished.

The MRI was fine as well, so then I had to endure a lumbar puncture. The worst bit was the injecting of the anaesthetic into my back. Boy did it sting! The actually drawing of cerebrospinal fluid itself was fine. Now that the anaesthetic has worn off though I feel like someone's kicked me in the back.

Surprise, the lumbar puncture was fine as well. So here I am at home, waiting on a referral to see a Neurologist. It seems like every time I think I've hit rock bottom I slip a bit further. Honestly, at the moment I don't know how I'm not a quivering, crying wreck.

During this time Hamish has been working 11 hour days, so I haven't even seen him. He's tired and stressed and I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I need a hug badly. I want someone to tell me they know what's wrong and how to fix it. I want all this to be over.

I miss my life and I want it back!

10 comments:

Pollyanna_H said...

You poor, poor thing. I'm sure that you are healing - but slowly!! Hang on in there - it will get better.

MichaelO said...

Sounds like you're going through hell, Pip. I know the causes are probably not the same, but I can convey having suffered chronic vertigo when I first started hydrocortisone therapy for my Addison's. Doctors gave not explanation for it. They sent me to neurologists, Ear/Nose/Throat specialists, to no avail.

After two months of putting up with it I decided to visit an accupuncturist. He gave me a one hour treatment, concentrating on my kidney zone (whatever that means), and putting me under a magnetic heat lamp. The next day I was cured of the vertigo and it never came back.

I have no idea if that would help you. But I completely empathize with your frustration. I was feeling quite desperate.

Hang in there!

Sass said...

hey are you at home or hospital or what at the mo'? Would you like a visitor with some therapeutic whittakers dark ghana??

Pip said...

Michael, thanks! I've been on Hyrdcortisone since 1994, no problems. I'm seeing an accupuncturist but only on my neck. Might have to find someone with a more holistic approach.

Sarh, what do you have planned for the day? H is off up the coast again. I'm going to try to go get some groceries (provided I don't still have the splitting headache) at some stage.

Pip said...

Oops. That should have read 2004, not 1994!

Mike said...

Bl@@dy 'ell ... I hope you get some answers quickly.

Sass said...

I'm so sorry chook - I didn't get home till mid-arvo and ended up lying round like a giant slug, napping and facebooking 'cos I didn't have the energy to get off the bed! Text me if you want a wee visit tomorrow otherwise maybe we can catch up one lunchtime during the week!

Kate said...

Oh, Pip, you poor thing! And how hideous that Hamish is working so hard on top of it all too.

Liminal Spaces Flanders Fields -kindly supported by the City of Mesen said...

You know, this description sounds so much like my husband's problem with Meniere's disease. I see that your eye doctor found the problem but I just had to note that here. When he has it, it recurs, he can't do anything - no tv, reading, walking, thinking ... I can imagine how bad your symptoms must feel. You seem fairly damn strong, truth be told, as I've seen those similar symptoms stop my bloke in his tracks until the world stops moving. The constant attempt to stop the world is exhausting, in ways those of us who haven't experienced it, can't imagine. Take care.

Pip said...

You're right about the Menieres-like symptoms. I'm still suspicious that the operation has had some impact on the function of my inner ear. It would also explain the low level nausea I have all the time. Personally I'm thinking there's a cerebrospinal fluid leak up there somewhere. After the operation there was a weird noise, like ear escaping under high pressure, coming from behind my nose/forehead area every time I lowered my head or put that area under pressure. That's my theory. I just need to get the Neuros to go along with it. Thanks for your vote of support!