Grumble

I am sick. I am sick and I don't do sick very well. It's been around four years since I last had a cold (since before my Addison's Disease diagnosis), so I guess it was about due, but it still sucks! I have very narrow Eustachian tubes, so I end up in agony every time. Driving down the hill into town this morning was a fraught experience, as my ears just can't handle even the slightest change in altitude right now, and I am considering calling in sick tomorrow (which never happens). I think I've got a bit of a temperature, so I'm hoping like heck I'm not brewing an ear infection.

This all sucks even more because it's prime spring weather at the moment. The sun has been shining, the wind has died to the point that the grand opening of a wind turbine in Waitangi Park was a fizzer, and the temperatures have been distinctly pleasant. Other than an enthusiastic RPM with Dee on Friday, Thursday morning bashing and two Balance classes, the exercise levels have been the lowest since I first started training with Duck. With the gorgeous conditions out there it's almost criminal. If it weren't for the temperature and the chronic ear pain I'd consider running anyway. In fact I may still tomorrow night. We'll see.

On the other hand it's been good for me to rest. I was a bit knocked around emotionally after Sunday, without even realising it. A trip up to Auckland, wandering around getting teary and nostalgic about the early days of my relationship with Hamish and a teary set of sun salutes were a good signal that there was some shifting going on.

Small things have been beautiful this week. Farewelling Hamish's boss over the course of a slightly chaotic Friday night, an afternoon in the garden, a brunch with a friend. A package arrived in the mail with a book (just as I was about to head into town to go second-hand book hunting) and an affirmation. My own manager ended up having a conversation with me about broken greenstone and White Tara. I discovered the copy of our wedding service our celebrant had typed up for us, and that the two poems I'd selected for the ceremony were by two of my now-favourite New Zeaalnd poets. The Vogeltown Kaka flew over my head two mornings in a row as I walked up to the road.

So I might be surviving being sick by eating and then obsessing about gaining weight, but I'm gaining perspective in other ways. And that's what matters, I guess.