Pip's Squeaks

I'm Back

2012-01-30T20:43:00.002+13:00

Yes, I did one month in Europe. I ran the Budapest marathon (with a cold, in 30 degree temperatures). After two more glorious and indulgent weeks in Italy I came back home and I started training hard. Before Christmas I was doing three morning group training sessions a week, plus a PT session and evening runs and spin classes. On the weekend I was out running the trails and/or out on my bike. When Christmas came I kept running and cycling. The morning workouts at the gym stopped, but I was looking forward to starting up again when ....

About a month ago I injured my shoulder. It was silly. I slept on it funny, then I did a PT session, and then woke up the next morning in agony. All running and cycling and workouts in general stopped. I'd just completed an 18k trail run and was supposed to get in 22k in the lead up to a 26k run in National Park. It was all I could do not to burst into tears at my desk - the pain was so pervasive. There was no way I was running 22k.

I managed to fit in two more runs, and then it was race week. What to do - drop down to the 13k, which I knew I could complete comfortably, or be awesome and run 26? Everyone else in our group had dropped back to 13k. Would I feel happy if I did the same, or like I'd cheated myself?

Right up to the Wednesday before the race I was still second guessing myself, and then a few conversations with fellow runners got me thinking. Perhaps after all these years it was time to just throw my hat in the ring and trust myself that I had the physical and mental strength to do this thing. Perhaps it was time to take a chance. What was life without some risk?

I drove north, I walked into registration, and without even thinking about what I was doing I picked up my race packet for the 26k. It was on.

TBC.

One week till we leave for Europe

2011-09-06T21:31:00.002+12:00

Three and a half weeks till the Budapest marathon.

The training's been going well. I ran 35k on Saturday, incorporating the Havelock North half marathon, and was playing beach cricket that afternoon. The travel plans took a while to come together thanks to both H and I being chronic procrastinators, but they're locked in now. Holland, London, Budapest, Italy.

This blog has been sadly neglected, but there will be lots to report on over the coming month!

Bashed by a Duck Again

2011-06-23T20:42:00.002+12:00

Never let my dedication to my workouts be questioned. It was only a horrendous cold which kept me on the sofa last week. Unfortunately, although I don't get sick often, when I do I do it in style. Even more unfortunately, the cold coincided with the Wellington half marathon. Goodbye $55 worth of entry fees. At least I didn't spend another $45 on the t-shirt! I also missed my 'big Saturday', a 15k Squad run and the 5k XTERRA night run. I was extremely gutted to miss the night run, as I've really enjoyed the XTERRA series this year. I still owe a race report from the third event out at Catchpool.

I tested my return to semi-wellness on Monday night with a wheezy, snotty flat 7.5k round the waterfront. I felt better than I'd expected, if somewhat slow. I followed that up with RPM on Tuesday night, and made it a point to keep the dial locked in. I was certainly feeling the burn by the end of the class.

I was expecting it to be wet and cold for my catch up session with Duck yesterday morning, being, as it was, winter solstice. I don't think we've really had a winter yet to be honest. Instead it was calm and warm and, thankfully, dry. I expected Duck to take it easy on me but there wasn't much hope of that as we ran stair repeats, threw in some one-legged squats, and did a series of kettlebell drills. In the face of another workout this morning, I decided caution was the best strategy, and didn't follow that up with a run.

If I thought I'd been worked hard yesterday I had no idea what was going to hit me today. Duck has a male client who used to be in the army, and while he's older now and apparently a bit unfit, for some reason she thought it would be a good idea to put me through the same workout for time as she'd just done with him.

We started off with a few hill repeats. Both of us noticed that my leg lift and turnover are suddenly hugely improved. It seems sitting on the sofa for a week equaled rest and recovery rather than physical diminishment.

From there it was on to the main workout. It went like this:

Complete 1 squat with a 16kg kettlebell, then one pushup (on toes), then one kettlebell swing, then rest. Each round is a minute long, so you then rest till it's time to start again. The next round you do two reps, the next round 3 etc, until you can no longer complete the exercises within the allotted minute. In other words, you get less and less rest.

Duck's client managed ten rounds, dropping to his knees for the pushups after about six. I got to halfway through round 11 before dropping to my knees. At the end of round eleven Duck told me that one of the other Squad girls had completed thirteen rounds. By about eleven the squats turned into the origin of all that is nasty in this universe. I've never really felt like I've maxed out on squats, but I got pretty damn close today. To add to this, the remnants of my cold were revealing themselves as it got harder and harder to catch my breath. By the last round I sounded like an asthmatic as my lungs did their best to push through the air.

I ended up taking 1.10 to finish round thirteen, but then I also slowed the squats right down because we knew I probably wouldn't finish it, so it seemed to make more sense to do them well. I do think that if I could breathe properly I probably could have finished within the minute.

We followed that up with 10 of a move where you start in a plank then reach out as far as possible to touch the ground, alternating arms. That was followed by 10 medicine ball throwdowns, squatting to catch the ball, then 8 plank reach moves, then 10 medicine ball throwdowns, then 6 of the plank, then 10 of the ball, etc.

By the end of this workout I never wanted to do another squat ever again. I can honestly say that I have not felt this shattered by a workout in a long time. It seemed deceptively simple, and yet it was incredibly hard. There was no way I could have even entertained the idea of a run after that!

I know I worked hard because my appetite went insane afterwards. Thankfully I've been feasting on brown bean soup for lunch all week and it does an excellent job of filling me up. As I sit here I can tell that I am going to be rather sore tomorrow. My biceps are already sore and I couldn't work out why till I realised it was from holding the kettlebell up under my chin during the squats. My lats are not going to want to move at all tomorrow. My glutes are quietly crying and my hamstrings are shriveling. I can also feel my core starting to kick in. Ouch - and I just poked at my pecs and it seems they're a bit sensitive as well! Hmm ... come to think of it, so are my shoulders.

Tomorrow is a rest day, for which I am extremely grateful, and then it's back into the running and Balance on Saturday. I'm starting to set everything in place for my marathon programme, starting in a few weeks. I'm eating a lot cleaner after a slightly disastrous binge while I was sick. I'm going to get back into the regular yoga and I'm going to stretch more. I also know I need to start up regular massages again.

While I'm getting over a cold

2011-06-14T16:54:00.005+12:00

Check out these beautiful photos (taken with my iPhone, so not the best quality) of my gym, Frank Kitts Park, at 7.15 one late May morning as I was waiting for my personal training session with Duck.

I love this sculpture - The Albatross.

Wellington Harbour, with the port to the far left.

Oriental Bay and Mt Victoria to the right.

So beautiful.

A bike ride

2011-05-07T13:03:00.002+12:00

Hamish and I had originally planned to be in Central Otago for the first couple of weeks of April so I'd taken time off work. Unfortunately Hamish couldn't go (something about taking a month off later this year - bah), but I'd already booked mine so I found myself gifted with over two weeks in Wellington, with some surprisingly good weather.

One fine sunny morning I loaded up my car, stopped into work to print off a map, and headed over to Masterton to ride the Tour of the Wairarapa course. I decided on TotW because I've only ever done the 50k ride before. Several of the Gearshifters had complained that the 115k course was hard and hilly, but I was just generally curious to see what it was like. With sun, mild temperatures and no real wind forecast it seemed like a good time to give it a go.

I was of course a bit nervous about heading out all that distance on my own, especially when I knew it was likely there'd be no cellphone reception for much of it, and that there was no one handy should I need rescuing. I regarded it as a kind of personal challenge though, so sucked down another harden up pill.

By the time I got to Masterton it was already 11, so I took a little more Hydrocortisone, ate a banana, and got going. I didn't see another cyclist the whole time I was out there, and on the country roads there were hardly any cars. I was in this on my own.

The first 25k were familiar territory and went past fairly quickly. I stopped at the 50k ride turnaround point to have a bit of a drink and a bite to eat, and to psyche myself up. From here on in it was all unknown. I'd never even driven out that way before, so I had no idea what the roads were like or what the hills were like. I was just hoping I could stick to the map and not get lost.

After a bit of a climb I had a rather nerve racking descent on roads covered in wet pine needles. For the record - wet pine needles are not a good surface for cycling, especially with the race tires I've never bothered to change, which have very little tread. From there though I found myself in a lovely valley, surrounded by rolling green hills. I tucked down low over the handlebars and got into a zone, flying through this beautiful location on a deserted country road, feeling rather awesome.

The awesomeness lasted to about the intersection with Dagg Rd, where I suddenly hit a cold and surprisingly strong headwind, which I guess the valley must have been funneling. From there it was a mental battle to Alfredton, as I started to freak out just ever so slightly. I was so tempted to make it an out and back and go back the way I'd come, which would still have made for around a three hour ride, but I knew I'd be disappointed in myself if I did. I had to have faith that the headwind would turn to a tailwind and that I'd be ok.

Eventually I made it to Alfredton, which I'd suspected to be a little town but in fact was just a dot on the map. I got to an intersection and turned right, rode a few metres, stopped, looked at the map, turned around and went left. I nearly ended up riding way off course, but the left turn wasn't as obvious because the road narrowed, and turning right seemed more logical.

Unnerved ever so slightly I started to freak out even more as the wind grew rather than eased, and my average speed plummeted. For some reason I started to worry about getting back to Masterton before it got dark, even though it was hardly going to take me six hours to ride 115k. Sometimes when I'm riding I lose my ability to summon up rational thought! However I was going to get back late enough that it was going to be early evening before I made it back to Wellington.

Between Afredton and Eketahuna was probably the worst part of the ride. There were two fairly gnarly climbs which ordinarily wouldn't have bothered me, but on my own and not knowing how long they would go on for (or how steep they would get) they messed with my head. It was also obvious that there had been lots of stock on the road. If I thought descending over wet pine needles was bad it was just as well I didn't know ahead of time I'd be riding down steep, winding hills on roads covered in cow shit, into sneaky head and crosswinds. Mind you, I didn't expect to find a fallen pine tree blocking most of the road halfway up the second climb either. Thankfully there was just enough room to cycle around it.

At the bottom of the second hill I found myself in a narrow valley surrounded by more rolling hills, not knowing what I was going to have to do to climb back out again. I figured I had at least one more climb to get out and into Eketahuna and was feeling rather anxious about what that would entail. All that talk about there being nasty hills out this way had done a number on me. During the moments when the wind dropped though it was all very beautiful and scenic, and I did enjoy myself in between the moments of panic!

In the end the climb out was long but gradual and nothing much to be concerned about at all. It was, however, nasty chip seal. About halfway up there was a noise like my back tire deflating. I jumped off but both tires were fine. Nothing seemed obviously wrong but when I spun my back wheel there was a rasping sound like something rubbing. Eventually, after a few moments of nervous investigation, I located a piece of gravel sitting above the back brake. I couldn't get to it with my finger so fished out my car keys and after a few more moments of fiddling I managed to get it out.

That small moment of potential disaster lightened my mood for a while, but once I got to Eketahuna I was keen to keep moving and get this thing over with. All plans of a relaxed lunch in the sun went out the window. The next few kilometres were along the highway. Thankfully there was a bit of a shoulder because there were a lot of stock trucks and milk tankers whizzing past. Thankfully also I seemed to have a bit of a tailwind at last, and I fairly flew up another long, gentle incline and down the other side.

At Kaiparoro I turned left off the main road and into cycling heaven. With a true tailwind I soared along a narrow, gently undulating country road through trees and fields at around 35kph. No cars passed to destroy my zen. At one point I stopped for a farmer moving his sheep and he commented that it was a nice day for it before waving me through. I had another near-map malfunction but was undaunted, with victory in the air. I also started seeing signs pointing to Masterton. I was still expecting there to be a final climb before dropping down to Dyer's Rock, but I was no longer nervous.

Finally I got back to what I thought was the intersection that would take me back along the undulating 25k I'd rode at the start. I turned right and pedaled happily onwards, stopping once more briefly for sheep. After cycling along blissfully for some time (the late afternoon sun was turning all the autumn leaves even more golden) I realised something was amiss when I crossed railway lines. Damn - they weren't there before. Checking my map I discovered I'd gone right when I should have, you guessed it, gone left. Story of my day. However I also saw that if I kept going the way I was I would come back onto the highway at Opaki. I was, therefore, not majorly lost. I'd just taken a slight detour.

In the end the detour was a blessing in disguise as it lead to me taking a slightly faster, shorter route back down a long flat road. Still distrustful of my faulty navigation skills I stopped occasionally to check on my progress, but almost before I knew it I was in Masterton. I ended up riding just under 110k on my own, through unfamiliar territory, on my own. I'd only started to tire over about the last half an hour. My average speed was slow, but with no one to draft off it was a speed I was prepared to accept.

I finished off the last of my second Em's Power Bar, loaded up the car, stopped at a dairy for a drink, and drove happily back to Wellington, where Hamish organised dinner and I collapsed happily on the sofa with a bottle of cider. I'd just done something I would never have thought I'd be brave enough to do, and I was thrilled.

More milestones!

2011-04-28T18:10:00.003+12:00

First, a duathlon report. This duathlon was the first event I ever did, the event that started everything. It's a women's event, 3.5k run/walk, 10k bike, 1.5k run/walk. The first time I did it it took me 59 minutes and I was ecstatic to do it under an hour. The second time it took me 57 minutes.

This time I was ambitious and set a goal of 50 minutes. The event had moved to another location a few more kilometres round the waterfront. This meant that the bike course was two loops of a 5k circuit, and that the second run was ever so slightly undulating. I decided I'd push for a sub-5 minute pace on the run, but knew I'd easily average over 24kmph on the bike, which would give me a little additional cushioning. The two transitions would eat up some time due to the fact I needed to change shoes and didn't have Yanks laces on my running shoes.

Of course everything hinged on the weather. Saturday, the day of registration, was completely calm and sunny. Sunday was overcast and by the time we got out on the bike course there was enough of a headwind to be a nuisance. So how did it go?

One of the things I wanted to make sure I did this time was a warm up. I knew I wanted to start out fast and I had to warm up to do that. I got to the start extremely early, parking a short walk away. It was coolish but I decided I could get away with my event t-shirt and arm warmers with my trishorts. I checked on my bike then had a little bit of a jog around. I did some drills and finished up with a few short sprints up the first bit of Rata St. At transition I was set up next to a woman who I knew does the Scorching Triathlons. She's very tall, slender and athletic so I decided if I could I would try to stick with her. Unfortunately when we were lining up the marshalls put her wave behind me.

I entered the race late so was one of the last to start. My number was 411 and we were started in waves of 50 one minute apart. I stood at the front and when the starting gun went I just went for it. Duck had asked me earlier that week if I'd ever gone so hard in an event I just couldn't go any more. Of course I never had so I had it in my head that I should at least try, just for a change. If I failed I'd be the only one who knew.

I maintained a sub-5 pace for most of the first run, which really pleased me. I had to run on the road for most of it to get around everyone I was overtaking, but thankfully the road was closed and no one was out on their bike at that point. About a kilometre into the run my Scorching Tri rabbit went flying past me and, as hard as I planned on going, I knew there was no way I could follow. That woman was fast! However she was the only person to overtake me on the first run.

I lost time in transition undoing my laces but it gave me a little time to catch my breath before the bike. I'd tied my timing chip round my ankle with some ribbon so at least didn't need to worry about that. I wasn't sure whether they'd have timing mats at transition but it turned out that they didn't, so in the end it wouldn't have mattered if I hadn't transferred the chip to my cycling shoes, but it was one less thing to think about.

Before long i was out on the bike. I didn't look to see what my bike average was but it was of course easily over 24kmph. Even with the headwind on the way out to Balaena Bay (which was disappointingly strong) didn't slow me that much, and I was sitting on well over 30 with a tail wind. No one overtook me and I think I would have gone faster if there had been someone to chase. Instead I just got down on the drops and concentrated on my cadence (and not running over the photographer standing in the middle of the road on the corner).

The two lap bike leg was a PITA as it meant three turn arounds and I had to go really slowly to account for all the other cyclists (many of whom were beginners and not very confident). The slow turns really affected my average speed. When I got back to transition the marshalls failed to point us towards the entrance back in. One said to go straight ahead and I thought 'huh, that's odd' but thought perhaps we had to cycle a little bit further and turn around again but when I set out he then yelled out after me so I had to turn around and go back again. I was extremely frustrated and suggested a little brusquely that the marshalls might actually want to marshall. It was nice to get into transition though and to see it still full of bikes! My Scorching Tri rabbit was the only bike nearby which was gone when I got back.

The last 1.5k included the tiniest little bit of a hill, but I really felt it. I just had to keep repeating '1.5k, you can do anything for 1.5k'. The turnaround came very soon but I soon realised that was because we had to run round the back of Cog Park on the gravel path so going back was a lot longer. I tried really hard to keep myself motivated to go hard, but I just couldn't, even as I saw my 50 minute goal ticking by. Mind you, when I looked down at the Garmin I was still not far off target pace so I guess I can't have been that bad.

So that was that. I did the event in just under 52 minutes, and I call that a success, especially given time lost in transition and due to the bike stuff up. Although the results weren't sent out by placing a rough count indicated that I was somewhere around 20th, which I will take. It's probably the highest placing I'll ever get.

Given that my car was parked so close I went back there, dropped off my helmet and shoes and picked up some warm clothes then stood at the finish line cheering people in. I grabbed my bike out of transition before prize giving because it was by far the nicest bike there and no one was checking that the people taking bikes out were actually their owners. The prize giving was thankfully short. There were some great prizes and some slightly dud ones (Powerbands!) but I didn't win any of them. I went home still feeling fresh, like I could have done a longer event. Hamish cooked pancakes and then I spent the rest of the day just keeping warm and hanging out.

That's enough for one post. Coming up next - Pip goes crazy in the Wairarapa, otherwise known as Pip cycles 110k on her own and barely manages to not get lost.

It's been a big weekend

2011-04-03T16:39:00.005+12:00

I haven't been posting much here sorry. The last few months have been full of happenings, but I haven't been able to find the words to describe them. Since the aftermath of the surgery I've been a lot more pragmatic about a lot of things. If something doesn't work out then it just doesn't. If something good happens, then it happens. I'm not so quick to believe in miracles, nor to look for some great purpose in life. I just get on and do what I can. I've learned to choose my battles, or rather to choose what is important to me and not stress myself out about the things I feel I 'should' be doing because everyone else is. This is my life and it's pretty damn good as it is.

Lately, however, the 'what I can' has been increasing in its greatness. I'll recount the last nine days' training as an example. Last weekend we were in Tauranga for a wedding. I woke up early on Saturday to torrential rain, but go up and jogged my way soggily round the estuary, exploring a scenic trail and particularly lovely boardwalk. 12km done.

I had Monday off and fortuitously, back in Wellington, was greeted with a stunning day. I got up, got on my bike, and cycled for 80km. Despite always having been nervous of cycling Makara on my own, I went out there and did it. I didn't get a flat tire, I didn't get stuck out in the middle of nowhere with no cellphone reception, I didn't get lost in Johnsonville, or any of the other horrors of my worst imaginings. Instead I tootled my way through the gorge then back to town via Ngaio Gorge. Still feeling good I kept on going around the Bays, then back up Happy Valley to home. 80km on my own! Believe me, this was momentous.

After that little effort I didn't feel up to a squad run that night. I had a Wild Workouts session the next morning, and Duck warned me we had a hard run on Wednesday night so she didn't want me to do anything else so as to ensure my legs were fresh. It was hard not to do my usual RPM, but I managed it. It was just as well because Wednesday night's run turned out to be a 5k time trial.

I haven't run a timed 5k since my 24.24 PB back at the start of marathon training a few years back. Needless to say I was not in the mood to try again today. I flew out way too fast and was on track to equal that, but I'm heavier and slower these days and faded on the way back, having to employ every possible mental trick to get me to the end. So not sub-25, but at least I have a baseline now and something to work on.

I had another Duck session on Thursday morning and she went easy on my legs, then after work I set off to do the workout I'd missed on Monday night. I jogged up to Drummond St in Berhampore, and there before me stood a flight of steps that looked like some Mayan ruin. The Drummond Street steps are a newly-laid tower that goes straight up before you like a cruel joke. I can't find an image online so you'll just have to take my word for it! Someone said there are around 100 steps, but I didn't take the time to count.

I stopped at the bottom of the steps to get my breath. My instructions were to repeat the steps up to ten times within 23 minutes. I was aiming for seven, as some of our group had only made eight and I figured I'd be slower on my own. However I found I was recovering enough on the way down that I didn't need to take the full one minute break Duck had recommended, and managed ten repeats in 22.30. I triumphed over the stairs of doom!

Unfortunately I also had a full weekend planned, and the aim of ensuring my legs were fresh for it wasn't exactly achieved. After the stair repeats my calves were like rocks. Walking down the Farmers Lane stairs to catch the bus after work on Friday had me wincing. They were still tight when I woke on Saturday morning to meet the squad at Eastbourne for a 70 minute run. Thankfully Duck knew most of us were running Xterra the next day, so she kept it flat. We set out towards Pencarrow. It was cold at the start but running warmed us up and it was so incredibly beautiful that it was an absolute pleasure to be out there. The photo at the start of this blog is from that day. Wellington - cloudless, still, the harbour mirror calm. I love this city.

The other girls went out quite hard at the start but I wanted to settle into a long run pace so stuck to six minute kilometres. My legs were still tight but my calves could cope with the flat so I just cruised along in my little happy place. Scores of other runners and cyclists were out enjoying the conditions and the flat, well-graded gravel road. With squad runners ahead of and behind me I focused on enjoying the beautiful scenery as cargo ships and ferries sailed past nearby.

I turned as ordered at 35 minutes and cruised back again, only really starting to tire slightly at the 60 minute mark, but still maintaining my pace and achieving an almost perfect split. We celebrated with coffee at Chocolate Dayz cafe before I headed off home for a big bowl of pasta and cider.

I knew that I was not going to be feeling fresh for the first of this winter's Xterra Trail series. Despite the end of daylight savings giving me an extra hour's sleep I still woke at the old 6.30 and lay there more or less sleeplessly for the next hour. The forecast was for drizzle but our luck seemed to be holding and, even though it was again cold, it was dry. The Northerly had of course risen as predicted. I was at registration not long after 7.30, and scored a park on the road not far from the Makara Park mountainbike park, where the race started. I had my photo taken by the Xterra crowd with other random racers, and eventually we were off.

Here's where I had to take my harden-up pills. The medium course was supposed to be 10-12k, but the organisers weren't happy with the course, so had changed it, meaning we were now to run 14. I didn't know whether I was up to running 14k on my tired legs, but I wanted to run more than 6.5, which is what the short coursers were doing. In the end I decided I'd start with the medium distancers and take the short course turnoff if I didn't great when the time came.

Off we went, and I soon decided that if I didn't blow out and kept my pace comfortable I should be ok for the medium distance. However the short course people were only five minutes behind us so I spent a bit of time dodging out of their faster runners' way. Eventually I found a nice quiet little spot with no other runners around me (which in reality, I think means I was last) and just got on with enjoying the beautiful trail.

The first few kilometres were undulating to slightly uphill, and it was only after four kilometres that we hit a real steep section of the track that I walked a bit of. From there the course went downhill a little, then up again. When we broke out onto a four wheel drive track I could see the Peak way off to my right. It seemed like an incredibly long way away. I took a harden up pill in the form of a gummy lolly and kept going. By this point I was being passed by long coursers, but do you think I cared? I think I have finally given up caring about being slow!

Despite my misgivings it actually didn't take that long to get up to the Peak, via a series of switchbacks which took the sting out of the climb. Up at the top it was really windy. We turned along an extremely exposed ridge, and between the quite technical trail (narrow and lots of rocky downhill surfaces to gingerly lower myself down) and the wind, it was a struggle to keep upright. At one point I nearly did get blown off the side of the hill, but somehow managed to keep my feet.

I was a little bit disappointed that the downhill was so technical, as I had to take it extremely slowly. It's really only on the downhill that the remnants of my vestibular issues come to light, as I find it difficult to accurately judge the depth of the descent, plus everything tends to bounce around in front of my face. However, as I said above, I'd long since given up worrying about being slow. Eventually we came out on an easier trail, and from then it was a fairly fast, undulating-trending downwards four kilometres back to the car park. I was being overtaken by lots of long-course runners, all of whom commented on how great the trail was, and I absolutely had to agree.

Finishing was great as, about 500 metres out, there was a break in the treeline and the squad, waiting at the finishline, spotted me and started cheering. Just before the final turn there was another group of spectators who also knew me, so they were cheering me as well. All I could hear was 'go Pip'! I felt like a rockstar and came over the finishline with the biggest grin ever. All I could say was "that was awesome"!

And indeed it was awesome. A year ago I was walk-running the short course and today, even though I doubted I had it in me to go the distance, I finished a fairly tough medium. So, as I said at the start, what I've been achieving has been, relatively speaking, rising in greatness. I am getting there on my own terms, and at the moment that's exactly the way I like it.

The Highlights

2011-03-24T21:06:00.002+13:00

Run for Christchurch has raised over $18,ooo. We went global and people were amazing. Check out our blog for more details. If you've ever been curious to hear me speak then you can listen to my podcast there as well!

Work has finally quietened down again and it's pretty much back to Business As Usual instead of earthquake recovery. I actually had performance review interviews with my team, though I haven't written up the reports yet. I'm in the middle of writing a project plan, about which I'm ridiculously excited.

Hamish and I are off away again up the island this weekend for a wedding. It's normal to immediately start planning new running and cycling routes, right?

This week I completed a monster (as in insanely steep) 1.5 hour trail run on Saturday and rode a solo 40k on Sunday (I was supposed to do around 70 but ended up riding on my own and lost my will to live). On Monday the Squad mixed it up a bit with a run around Mt Victoria and Newtown - a mix of trails and road. I ended up on my own after trying to find some tail-enders who'd gone another way and had to sprint back to Te Papa to make sure someone didn't send out a search party.

On Tuesday Duck's morning workouts started up again. Lots of squats, lunges, pushups, step ups and tricep dips later we were done. I followed that up with an RPM class after work.

On Wednesday it was 1k interval time. We warmed up then did four intervals. I did surprisingly well for the first two but my post-workout/RPM legs weren't really having it for the last.

This morning it was time for a one-on-one Duck bashing in Frank Kitts, the highlight of which was me skidding on the slippery surface of the playground while doing side shuttles. My right leg went one way, my left went the other, and in an attempt to not rupture an abductor I found myself on my back laughing hysterically while people walked by. I am still loving the kettlebell work we've been doing and am feeling very strong.

This afternoon the autumnal weather was perfect for running. It was clear, calm and wind free. I headed out at lunchtime for a bonus 5k up to Kelburn and back through the Botanical Gardens. My legs were tired but did their thing obligingly.

Oh, and I have a new marathon training programme!!!

Getting away from things by cycling

2011-02-27T13:55:00.002+13:00

I've been sadly neglecting this blog. There have been rides and runs. There has been a lot of thinking about life and uncertainty, and getting to grips with that. I've been feeling a lot more grounded. So it was a shock on Tuesday to get back from a meeting to hear that there had been a huge aftershock in Christchurch. It was quickly clear that this time there would be a death toll.

H and I are lucky. We have no immediate family in Christchurch, but we do have extended family, all of whom are, as far as we know, ok. For a few days I thought a friend may have been in Christchurch when the quake hit, but she was located on Thursday in Abel Tasman. Hamish's parent company's office is a write-off, and they have a container-load of stock on the port which they'd been waiting for since the last quake. They have no idea whether it has survived. I've spent the week dealing with business continuity stuff as our own Christchurch office is out of action. Still, it's been hard to know what to do to help.

So when a friend asked me to help organise a virtual charity run I was eager to help out. Since then things have gone viral. We're getting blogger coverage around the world, we've been on National Radio, and events are being organised everywhere. On day two we're already past our fundraising target.

By this morning it was all getting a bit overwhelming and I needed to think about something else for a while. I drove out to Upper Hutt and went for a ride.

We rode from Upper Hutt over the Blue Mountains (which were steep and sweaty), down through Whiteman's Valley and Mangaroa, over the hill, up over Wallaceville, back through Mangaroa again, and then headed back to the town centre again.

It was a perfect day for cycling - not too cool, not too hot, very little wind. I didn't feel fabulous on the hills but the others thought I looked strong. We were flying on the flat without too much effort.

Sometimes the best way to deal with a traumatic event, and to build yourself up before diving back in again to continue helping, is to spend some time cycling with friends in the beautiful outdoors.

Run for Christchurch

2011-02-25T19:32:00.004+13:00

As you probably know, New Zealand's second largest city, Christchurch, was devastated by a 6.3 earthquake at lunchtime on Tuesday 22 February 2011. There have been at least 113 fatalities and two days later over 200 people are still missing.

Kiwis out of Christchurch and people around the world want to know how they can help, and the answer's short. With money. But we all want to feel like we're doing more than just typing our credit card numbers into a box and clicking submit. So, Mike, Pip, Kate, Phil and I thought we'd go for a run. Wearing red and black, to show the people of Canterbury we love them. And we'd like you to join us for our virtual fun run. Wherever you are.

If you’d like to participate, just follow these easy steps:

•make a donation of as little as $5 at our fundraising page •follow us on twitter!
•tell the world you’re in. Share the love on Twitter, Facebook, your blog, whatever. Use the #run4chch hashtag
•on the 12th or 13th of March, pop your red and black on, and hit the streets, or the pavements, or the trails, or wherever it is you run
•send us a link to your race report, and we’ll post it on our blog

We’re hoping to get at least 100 entries, so please, please share this with everyone you know!

For more information

http://www.fundraiseonline.co.nz/run4chch/

https://twitter.com/#!/Run4CHCH use the hashtag #run4chch

http://run4chch.wordpress.com/

Taranaki Cycle Challenge

2011-01-30T19:55:00.003+13:00

I'd always planned to do the Taranaki Cycle Challenge. My parents live in Stratford, so I can stay with them and drive there on the morning, plus it's the week of Dad's birthday so I am usually up there anyway. It's also a lovely ride, circling round Mt Taranaki. I did it back in 2009 and had a great time, despite being in pain with a hip injury.

Unfortunately this year it just wasn't to be. From a couple of weeks out meteorologists were predicting that we'd get hit by a cyclone, and as the day grew closer Cyclone Wilma presented an ever growing threat. To add to that, I suddenly developed right piriformis issues. I've been having trouble with my left piriformis off and on, ever since the Rotorua marathon, but up till now I've only had sacroilleac issues on the right side. This was very different from my sacroilleac though. The pain in my glute was deeper and at its worst I was limping.

I honestly don't know what caused this particular issue. I've been dealing with ongoing muscle soreness for the last six months - shin, quads, calf muscles, glutes .... With my exercise load there seemed to be no obvious reason why everything would be getting so stiff. I put it down to more hill running, my Miadidas (particularly as they aged), and perhaps the kettlebells. I certainly pushed it when it came to the running shoes, and on the Saturday before the piriformis really started to play up I ended up with sore ankles of the type which had me straight off to Rebel Sports for a new pair. I bought another pair of Adidas, this time reverting back to a stability shoe, but also downgrading to their slightly cheaper range. I ran on Monday and they felt fine. I then woke up on Tuesday morning very, very sore.

All the squats and lunges in Duck's Tuesday morning workout in Frank Kitts wouldn't have helped. I skipped RPM and then on Wednesday woke up with my right hamstring completely spasmed. It was on Wednesday that I found myself limping around the office. I wanted to run that night and thought I'd try keeping it to the flat, but eventually saw sense and went home.

I met Duck for our usual session on Thursday morning, and in retrospect the kettlebells probably weren't the best idea. I limped my way to a massage and left at the end of the hour able to walk slightly more easily, but still in pain.

On Friday I drove to Taranaki and went for a short walk with Mum, which was limp-free but which killed my left shin (Mum walks extremely quickly). Duck had already let me off the hook with the Taranaki race (not one of my goal races, bad weather, soreness, not enough time on the bike), but I planned to get out there and support some of my friends. I even contemplated riding out to meet Julia and pull her a little way around the course.

In the end I woke Saturday morning to strong gales and early rain. Yeah, I stayed in bed. By 11.00 the rain had stopped so Mum and I drove the short distance up Pembroke Rd to the local school to cheer everyone on. We got out of the car and were nearly blown away. We moved the car so that we were positioned so we could see the riders approaching, then sat there until the first pack came through. Riding into the headwind they certainly weren't setting any speed records.

We stayed out there for two hours, clapping everyone by and cheering the rather gratifyingly large number of people I knew. It was, in all honesty, difficult to stand up, let alone ride. We were blown backwards more than once. I was happy not to be out there but impressed by all of those people who were. They did not look to be enjoying the conditions at all.

After two hours I was cold, hungry, wind-burned and my hands were sore and tingly from clapping. I'd seen all of the people I expected to see, and as much as I wanted to cheer on the stragglers, it was time to go. I went home and spent the afternoon with the family, sheltering from the wind.

The next morning I woke to a perfect day.

30km of cruising around the rural roads of Taranaki (that's the mountain behind the filmy clouds in the background) I ruefully turned back to home (Pembroke Rd is a fun fast downhill that made me realise why my average speed had been so slow on the way up). I would have liked to ride out to Kaponga but Mum was expecting me back and I still had to drive back to Wellington.

My piriformis is slightly sore again but not as bad as it could be. I'm going to keep stretching and will run tomorrow and see how I go. If things don't improve I'll see a physio, but until then I'm going to be spending a lot of time in pigeon pose and rolling round on a tennis ball.

Lemon Tequila Sorbet

2011-01-22T14:32:00.002+13:00

Running Mt Lowry with Jo

It seems a little odd to be posting a sorbet recipe when it's been so cold lately, but Kate recently took possession of an icecream maker, so this just had to be shared.

1 cup/250 ml water
1 1/2 cups/375 ml sugar
1 tblspn gelatine
1 tblspn hot water
1/2 cup/165ml tequila
1 tblspn grated lemon rind
1 cup/250 ml canned evaporated skim milk

Combine water with sugar, stir over moderate heat until sugar has dissolved. Bring to the boil, and boil without stirring for five minutes.

Meanwhile dissolve gelatine in hot water. Add to syrup, stir until well combined.

Add lemon juice, tequila and lemon rind. Cool. Combine with milk. Chill in refrigerator for one hour.

Place mixture into an icecream machine and process according to manufacturer's instructions.

If making by hand: Pour mixture into a large freezer-proof container, cover and freeze until partially set. Remove from freezer, beat with a rotary or electric mixer until smooth. Pour back into container and freeze till firm.
Serves 8.

What I did on my New Years holiday

2011-01-15T11:37:00.008+13:00

My New Years was spent sitting on a veranda looking out at Nydia Bay, in the Marlborough Sounds.
I was there with Nic ,

Hamish, (of course)

and the lovely Leonie.

This was our home for four days. A tiny chalet off the grid. No cellphone reception, a small gas fridge and cooktop, a solar panel for power, and a wood stove for cooking and hot water. Bliss.

Our closest neighbour, Marty, the owner of the chalet had a house further up the hill with a turret bedroom for his youngest son.

The cabin was a short 20 metre walk from the Nydia Track.

Trail running heaven. I ran twice, for around 90 minutes a time, and we all tramped for around four hours one day. I also walked for around two hours one day, and around an hour another.

There had been a huge, 50 year storm the day before we arrived and there was significant trail damage and trees down all over the place. Marty's house had several broken windows. However we had perfect weather the whole time we were there.

A view from the trail around the corner from our small bay, with a view of the jetty.

Kanuka down on the trail.

A bridge over a lovely stream. You can see from the debris that the water was right over the bridge at one stage.

There were a number of pet eels in a large pond near the chalet. They liked smoked chicken and salami, but weren't so keen on tofu.

My runs were slightly lacklustre and plodding, but it was such a beautiful location I was just happy to be out there at all. I stopped a lot to take photos and to clamber over the kanuka.

About half an hour from the chalet there was a basic DOC campground, with a tap and a long drop.

Not a bad spot to stay the night.

One day I set out to climb to the nearby saddle, at around 367 metres. I was looking forward to the view from the top.

Unfortunately about a third of the way up the trail was blocked by a huge downed beech tree. I pondered for about ten minutes but decided I wasn't that committed to reaching the top, so turned around again.

When not running or walking we all spent a lot of time just sitting around in the sun reading and thinking.

The water was still very brown from all of the storm runoff, but it was scenic none-the-less.

The mornings were stunning.

The areas of native bush were also beautiful.

The trails were much more runnable than I'd been led to believe (when they weren't blocked by trees).
The chalet of the front of the chalet. To the left of the photo is the path up to Marty's house.

We caught a float plane in, and from above the flooded Sounds were very dramatic. This photo care of Leonie.

This and the next two photos are also from Leonie. Marty's house is the house at the top, the building in the middle is a shed, and the chalet is at the bottom.

Leonie was able to capture this truly stunning photo of a calm morning in the Bay.

Out walking, here through a flooded section of the Nydia Track.

Wine was drunk, food was eaten, books were read and thoughts were thought. Nydia Bay entranced us all, and I hope we will be back.

A Very Hot Run

2010-12-29T19:52:00.003+13:00

After lunch at the Chocolate Fish cafe ...

A very hot 50 minute flat run around the southern coast.

I feel heavy and slow, but it was good to have rested legs. I'm off down to the Marlborough Sounds for four days and, although I have vague aims of trail running at least once while I'm there, I'm not going to force myself if I don't feel the love.

Wherever you are I hope you're having a great break!

Christmas Day in Mornington

2010-12-25T10:30:00.001+13:00

Gaffer sleeps in the sun, I go for a 40k cruise round the Bays. Stunning day here in Wellington! Merry Christmas to you all.

Christmas 2010

2010-12-24T14:59:00.003+13:00

Santa Duck - last Jog Squad run for the year

As Christmas approaches I've felt increasingly calm. Once our project went live at the end of November work pretty much wound down and there's been very little to do the last couple of weeks. I've been continuing with the post-Lake Taupo rest-without-a-rest. In other words, I've been running with the Squad two to three times a week, participating in Duck's small group training on Tuesday mornings, training with her individually on Thursday mornings, fitting in a few more upper body weights on my own(back into the pull-ups), and throwing in the odd RPM class for good measure. I haven't been back on my bike however, which is a bit of a worry given the 150k ride I have lined up for the end of January (the Taranaki Cycle Challenge).

I've been feeling, to be honest, worn out, if in a good way. I've been working my body hard and it's telling me all about it. This round of the Squad has been more fitness based, with lots of hill repeats and interval training. I know that I've gotten fitter and stronger, but I've also felt slower. My legs really need a bit of a rest. It's been a fairly monumental year and it's time to stop and reflect on it.

Torrential rain in Stratford, Sunday before Christmas

I spent last weekend in Taranaki with the family doing an early Christmas. Hamish had to pull out at the last moment due to work commitments. I always forget how busy he gets at this time of year as everyone wants their home theatres installed before the break. I didn't mind as it was nice to just hang out with my parents, eat lots, drink wine and sit around doing nothing much. I fitted in an 8.5k flat run on Saturday morning before jumping in the car and heading north. Mum cooked a full Christmas meal, with turkey, ham, a pork roast, loads of roast vegetables, and green veges with cheese sauce. Dessert included chocolate log, trifle, fruit salad, pavlova and steam pudding. I brought home a ton of leftovers for H.

The weather was pretty awful so Mum and I didn't get out for our usual long walks, though we did fit in a couple of short ones. By Sunday morning there was a rain warning in place right down the country and Dad and Hamish pretty much decided for me that I wasn't driving back to Wellington that day.

Jess, the neighbours' kitten, in Stratford

Staying in Taranaki for another night wasn't exactly a hardship, not when there was kitten cuteness to play with. Jess's owners were away so she spent a lot of time yowling at us. I got up early on Monday morning, drove south and was back at my desk before 1.

I think I'm succeeding in my aim to make up for the summer lost post-surgery by fully engaging in this one. We've had some gorgeous weather, and some wet and windy weather. I've loved all of it. I have a roast duck planned for dinner tomorrow, and a bike ride. My goal was to have a quite day at home with Hamish and the cats, so I'm thrilled.

Hamish and I are heading to Marlborough for New Years with Nic and Leonie, who have been staying with us on their New Zealand summer holiday. It's going to be four days of total escapism, starting with the flight out there in a sea plane and I'm beside myself with excitement.

I have goals for next year, and I will write more about them soon. For now though I'm just sitting here, finished work for the year, nothing to do, feeling relaxed and quietly happy.

I love my city!

2010-12-04T12:49:00.003+13:00

Nearly 90 minutes of running/walking around the trails of Te Ahumairangi hill, followed by a Balance class. It was already scorching at 8.30. I'm not sure I'm still in the same city!

It's a hard life being an Emo-cat

2010-12-03T22:25:00.001+13:00

How not to do a recovery week

2010-12-01T21:47:00.003+13:00

Lunching in the Bolton Street cemetery

After driving home from Taupo on Sunday (or rather, sitting in the car while Hamish drove) I was feeling a little stiff. I still planned on running with the Squad on Monday night, but I didn't expect it to feel good. I was in for a bit of a surprise.

I met the rest of the Squad at Te Papa at six as usual but Duck's planned run had me seriously doubting my sanity. We were told to run up Taranaki Street then along Karo Drive to Aro Street. We were then to run up Raroa Rd and down Plunket, down past the university and Salamanca Rd, then right on to the Terrace. From there we were to do two repeats of the Dixon Street steps before running back to Te Papa again.

I think my low expectations of my running abilities served me well. I started off slow and wasn't worried about falling behind slightly. However to my surprise my legs felt quite powerful. By the time we were running up Aro Street I'd changed my game plan from giving myself permission to walk bits of the hill to aiming to run the whole thing.

One of the other runners stopped at the Aro Street Park toilets, and Duck waited for her. I quickly overtook another as she stopped to walk not long after we started climbing. After that I just took it easy and kept putting one foot in front of the other. I ended up running in a little space on my own with the others disappearing off ahead.

Once I ran down Plunket Street I knew I was going to be fine, and I was able to pick up the pace. I didn't manage to catch the others on Salamanca, but found them on the steps. Earlier I'd told Duck that I might play the Taupo card and not do the stair repeats, but seeing as I was feeling good I thought well, why not? They weren't very successful though as it was at this point that my quads showed signs of post-race fatigue. I ended up barely running the second half of each repeat. All the same I couldn't believe how well the run had gone.

By mutual agreement I didn't do Duck's 6.15am workout in Frank Kitts, but I did do a lunchtime RPM class. It was extremely hot and my legs, while not wiped out, were a little stiff so I kept the dial light. It was good to feel like I'd done something though.

Today was a busy day. I was at the Extreme gym by 6.45 for a light upper body workout. A quick shower later and I was dropping a bike off for a service at Penny's. I stopped off at the supermarket for fruit, vegetables and yogurt then spent the day working before heading off to Te Papa for another squad run.

Duck's prescription for the evening was a short sharp run. This meant running to the base of the zigzag between Oriental Terrace and the Monastery at the top of Hawker Street. We then did suicide sprints up the path. We started out running up the initial stairs and then to the top of the first zig, then we ran back down, then back up to the second zag, back down, third zig, etc. Those of you not from Wellington won't understand the true horror of the exercise. I think all up we sent up and down somewhere between 7 to 9 times. I lost count, but I can assure you that it was very steep and unpleasant. I can also assure you that I ran every last bit, even though running meant shuffling a lot of the time. We were watched by a procession of walkers, runners, and one very friendly young grey cat.

Collapsing at the top I couldn't believe what I'd just done. Running uphill is my weakness, and my legs were fatigued, and yet I'd just slogged away, gone at my own pace, set a goal and got it done.

Before the run was over we walked to the top of Hawker than did two sets of suicide sprints using lamp posts on the side of the road - down to the first lamp post, back up, second lamp post, back up, third lamp post, back up. We rested and then we repeated that one more time. Although I was being overtaken by everyone I was running the uphills with strong technique and feeling remarkably good all things considered.

We warmed down by running down an unfamiliar little path round the side of the monastery and back down the Hood Street steps. By the time I got home I was starving but still moving.

I have a workout with Duck tomorrow and that will probably be it until Saturday. It's been a great week. After the fatty carb-fest that was the Taupo weekend I've been eating clean since Monday. I've been slugging back the fruit and veg and eating lots of salads and lean protein. I've been wanting red meat, which is usually a sign that my digestive system is righting itself as I can't stomach it properly otherwise. This afternoon my rings suddenly started feeling loose again so I think I may have lost a certain amount of water weight, some of which was probably retained from Saturday's race. In any case, it's nice to think that I'm doing the best I can to drop that five or so extra kilos.

This weekend's plan includes a run in the hills with some of the girls followed by a Balance class, and a ride on Sunday. I'm into the 'fun' part of the year now and although I need to keep the riding up if I want to do Taranaki at the end of July, I want my runs to be unpressured and aventuresome.

Keep tuned for the continuing adventures!

I did it!

2010-11-28T19:10:00.003+13:00

The perfect morning on the lakefront for a 160k cycle race! This was the view from near my starting group at around 8am.

The view from the Kuratau drink station near the halfway point. It was really starting to heat up by this point. I'd done reasonably well at getting food and liquid onboard, but still drank nearly a whole bottle when I stopped. I'd been feeling pretty good up to then. I was taking it conservatively but thought I'd made it that far in about the same time as 2008. Perhaps I was slower, but I don't think I ever wrote my 80k time down back then. The hills definitely didn't feel hard, but I was frustrated to find that I was having difficulty latching onto a good group of riders. I think that was partly a result of starting in the women's only group. I did that because they started earlier than the 5.50 to 6.10 group I'd planned on starting with, but the spread of rider abilities was too great and it all got messy.

The chaos that was the drink station. I stopped here to refill my water bottles and have a quick portaloo break. I'd told myself that I just had to get here without stopping, so I managed that mini-goal. I was still feeling quite good so pressed on.

Coming down off Waihi hill hurt. I didn't mind all the other climbs or descents, not even Kuratau, but Waihi was covered in nasty chip seal and I still have some issues with the adjustment of my brakes (I need another couple of shims), so my wrists were really aching from having to stretch so far to reach them properly and having to clench them to hold onto the shuddering handlebars.

Even so, and with my arms and shoulders starting to ache as well, I was still feeling good until Turangi, and then things went slightly pear shaped. If the finishline was at Turangi it would have been a good race. Not surprising really - my longest training ride was only 80k long, and it was around 100 to Turangi. I stopped a little way past the township to text H to let him know I might be a little longer than planned. I don't want to sound too negative. I knew I was going to be slow home, and I wanted it all to be over, but I was still thrilled that I'd even gotten to that point and I knew that I was not pulling out. I was proud of myself.

In 2008 I'd sat with a good group of riders doing around 28-30kph from Turangi through to Taupo. This time around no one seemed to want to do over 26. I would sit behind a group for a while, overtake them, cycle into the wind to the next pack, sit behind them, repeat. It got pretty soul destroying. What was even more annoying was that inevitably people would follow me, but I was the only one doing any work.

I kept telling myself that Hamish was at the finish line with cider. I also reminded myself that I was going to finish, which was pretty amazing given my lack of training and the events of the last year. I desperately wanted to stop though, even if just for a few seconds. I ended up stopping just before Hatepe and downing the emergency gel I'd brought with me for that very purpose.

In the end Hatepe wasn't that bad, as I'd known it wouldn't be. There were people stopping and walking all around me, but I just lined up the two photographers and smiled. Before too long I was over and coming down the other side. My foot cramped slightly, (just as it had last time) but I ignored it. I was a bit too tired to descend too quickly, but still got down at a reasonable clip.

Through the roundabout, over the hill to the airport, back down the other side. All the way around I'd had people yelling out to me. Half the time I'd had no idea who they were, but it turned out my Gearshifters were cheering me on from the sidelines, for which I was very grateful.

With a few k's to go an older guy came past and told me how well I was doing. I realised that he'd been saying the same thing to me the whole way around as we'd yo yo'd back and forth. I thanked him and we got talking. I told him about my brain surgery, he told me about his neck and spine surgery. We high-fived each other a few times then he kindly dropped back so that I could have a solo sprint to the finish. I waited for him over the finish line and thanked him again. And then there was this ....

One very hot, sweaty, relieved Pip. Is that not photo of a happy woman?

One very cold, very good bottle of cider!

And a lovely dinner, 12 hours after starting, in a cafe overlooking the lake. At 8.07 the tail-end charlie car went past, just as it was getting dark.

This year just cemented for me what a special race Taupo is, and I knew for sure that I want to ride again. Everything about it is so perfectly organised, and with the mix of enduro riders, riders wearing bibs to signal 10-25+ times around, teams, and unusual bikes, it's always entertaining. There is great crowd support and the whole town comes alive. It's the kind of event where a person can get a team of four together and train for a totally manageable 40k distance. There are people like my workmate, who finished two hours faster than me, then there are people like me, who are simply aiming to have a good day and complete.

So what's next? I want to get serious about going sub-six next year, and to do that I need to ride consistently, and I need to drop around 5kg at least. I'm planning on doing the Taranaki Cycle Challenge at the end of January, and I'm going to start riding with one or more of the local packs before then.

Completing Taupo has shifted my headspace, and I feel like I have regained a little more of the confidence in myself that I lost in the post-surgery madness. I am so grateful to all of the friends who have wished me well, and who were so happy for me when I made it around.

I haven't even mentioned our awesome accommodation, or the great women I was staying with, the support of all the Gearshifters riders, and, of course, the support of my wonderful, wonderful husband, who was quite happy just to be there.

I'm a little stiff, and I have the craziest tan lines, but overall I'm doing great.

Pre-Race Reflection

2010-11-25T18:56:00.002+13:00

We're off to Taupo tomorrow so that I can ride in the Lake Taupo Cycle Challenge. I am in no way trained for this event. In fact I haven't done a single ride over 80k. There are a number of reasons for this, and some of them come down to me making silly or cautious decisions. However what's done is done, and there's no point kicking myself now.

Physically my quads are tight, my left periformis is nagging me, but I will stretch them out tonight and by Saturday they should be fine. Mentally I feel remarkably calm. I plan on finishing, but if I don't I know I will have given it my best shot.

A year ago when I first sat in front of the hospital's clinical psychiatrist I was unable to stop crying. She asked me what I did to relax and at that time I had no answer for her. I couldn't run and I didn't think I'd ever get back on my bike again. The next time I saw her I took her the photo above. I wanted her to see who I had been. At the time that photo was almost too difficult for me to look at. I eventually chose to look at it as a symbol of my own strength, and over time I could take heart from it. A few months later I was back on my bike again.

So when I line up on the lakefront on Saturday it won't be to try to beat my PB. When I line up it will be to show myself that I am a strong, brave woman. Just the fact that I am even registered is a victory.

A busy Sunday

2010-11-20T20:23:00.003+13:00

Old bank machine and wine cellar, Bettys Bar in Blair Street

Last Sunday began at 5.30am, when I got up to drive to Masterton for what was supposed to be a 115k race. When I got there I found that none of the women I normally ride with had turned up, and that there was a wind warning in place for most of the course. Riding in winds of up to 120kph on my own? The idea did not appeal, and I dropped back to the 50k. This meant that I could ride with Maria, one of the new Gearshifters who I haven't had a chance to talk to before.

The 50k route is nicely undulating and, because it passes through a valley, reasonably sheltered. However we still had a headwind and, at one point, a crosswind which saw me moving forwards while progressively edging towards the ditch. I leaned sideways and hauled myself more comfortably towards the centre of the lane.

Although it felt like a short race (which of course it was) it was fun, and we had a great tailwind on the way back. I ended up with my highest race placing ever and felt extremely strong. After a quick lunch I jumped back in the car and headed back to Wellington, where Hamish was preparing for his first vjing gig with the While You Were Sleeping crew in quite some time.

After a quick shower, and with no time to blowdry my hair, I grabbed a lift into town with H and walked through the post-Christmas parade madness to my office on the other side of town. A couple of hours of work and I headed back again, stopping off for some food on the way back as I was starting to feel like gnawing my arm off.

The gig was well underway, and Groovin' Pete was holding court. The venue was amazing. As you can see there were screens wrapped around the walls, and H was making good use of them.

The man himself at work.

The footage from old Cadburys ads were a particular hit. The DJs were playing remixes of the ad jingles at the time.

Something that may or may not look a little rude in retrospect. I make no further comment.

My role in these things is basically to sit slightly behind H and not bother him. It's a difficult job but someone has to do it.

Being a Sunday night we were home by around 9.30. I was remarkably awake but glad to get to bed all the same. It was a long (and slightly frustrating as far as getting in a decent distance on the bike goes) but ultimately good day.

An Awesome Ride

2010-11-07T18:08:00.004+13:00

I haven't been feeling the racing mojo or love lately so I skipped the Tour de Whitemans today and headed off up Paekak hill with Julia instead. After yesterday's ride was canceled due to some decidedly autumnal weather (rain, and cold southerlies gusting up to 85kph) and a morning spent in an RPM room I was more than ready for some sun and a good ride.

After meeting Julia at her house in Tawa we headed North, with the lingering southerly to give us a push. I was feeling great. We stopped at the homestead at Battle Hill and then it was onwards and up.

Julia rolling in behind me at Battle Hill:

An odd location for a Tui billboard:

I definitely need to clean my iPhone's camera lens, but in some ways the blurring effect works.

Now, I've been up Paekakariki Hill once before, and I remember it being a slog. Admittedly today I had a push up from the wind, but I just cruised up in my big chain ring loving my new bike and waiting for the hill to actually hit. In fact there's only about one km right at the end which is even slightly steep. I was soon at the cutting where I'd turned around the first time (because of the strong winds), and then out the other side where I was greeted by this view and a good dose of vertigo:

Yep, it was a stunning day.

The bike was looking pretty good as well. Two motorcyclists (who also happened to be road cyclists, go figure) spent some time eyeing her up. I swear she's a great pick-up tool. Definitely need to clean that camera lens.

Eventually Julia came rolling in behind me. After a bit of a break we slogged it home into the southerly.

I finished the ride feeling incredibly strong and over the moon. More like that please!

Happy birthday Mr Yeti

2010-11-04T20:23:00.004+13:00

We missed this year's Day of the Dead/Hamish's birthday celebration on 2 November because Hamish was working.

We missed last year's because I was in hospital.

We weren't missing going to miss out on celebrating all together though. Flying Burrito Brothers was waiting, as were the Margaritas.

Happy birthday husband!

Anyone want to buy a bike?

2010-10-30T15:05:00.002+13:00

Cleo is up for sale. I feel more than a little sad ...

Today's ride was good - round the Bays to the cutting then up Awa Rd, back down to the coast, up Happy Valley to Brooklyn then up to the wind turbine. The climb up to the bottom of Ashton Fitchett was easier than I remembered, the climb up to the turbine just as bad. The first 100m or so is stupidly steep and I was probably one of the few riders who didn't stop at all during the climb. One even fell over after failing to unclip.

There was a fairly strong and very cold southerly wind blowing today. After coming back down off the hill I was shivering badly, even with arm warmers. We climbed up Aro Valley then through Wilton, Churton Park etc to Ngaio where some of us called it quits and the others continued on to Johnsonville to do Makara. I did around 50k today, which was still not enough, however tomorrow is the Martinborough race which, at 115k, should put me through my paces.

Still not feeling over confident about my cycle fitness. We'll see how it goes.

Another week, another quick update

2010-10-28T22:09:00.002+13:00

So, that big ride that was supposed to happen on Labour Monday? Never happened. I spent the whole day feeling absolutely shattered. In retrospect, and judging by the phlegmy cough I've had the last few days, I really was brewing some low level virus, but because it was sitting in my chest and not my head I hadn't realised how much it was affecting me.

Having said that, I may not have been able to summon the energy to get on my bike, but I did run (very slowly and without much enthusiasm) for nearly 30 minutes before meeting Duck's small group training squad for a workout. By the end of the workout I was even feeling a bit more myself.

Unfortunately on Tuesday I felt pretty shattered again. To add to that I was suffering some serious glute pain, I think from the Monday workout, but also the accumulation of lots of hilly running, cycling and RPM. I did an RPM class at lunchtime but my legs felt very heavy. After work the weather was perfect for riding - sunny and still. However I just couldn't get myself out there.

I made up for it somewhat by getting up on Wednesday morning and taking the scenic route to work around the Bays.By that point there was a bit of a Northerly blowing, which meant I was riding into a headwind for a lot of the way. I also cycled most of the way on my own, though lots of cyclists (including a few packs) cycled by in the other direction. I was still getting used to the new bike and still feeling too tired to do much other than cruise along, however once I got near Shelley Bay I found myself in a bit of a race with three different guys on hybrids. They'd overtake me, slow down, I'd overtake them, they'd either overtake me or draft off me. It was all rather amusing but if I'd not been feeling so dead I would gladly have left them in my dust.

All up (including the stopping at lights once in town) I was out there for around 75 minutes and still made it into work by 8.15 - plenty of time to shower and get back to my desk. I left my new bike at the empty desk next to me because I couldn't bring myself to hang it in the cycle locker. That meant I had a constant trickle of admirers stopping by, which was a nice distraction.

After work I rode down to Frank Kitts and had another Duck session, including more glute exercises. Given that standing and moving into a walk had been an extremely painful exercise all day I wasn't that enthusiastic. I made it through though and felt ok once I was warmed up. I even managed to bike back home up Brooklyn Hill and Mornington Rd. It was the first opportunity to really test the bike on a decent hill, and she performed very nicely. I'll keep her!

I definitely felt like I'd done enough for the day and slept extremely soundly last night. This morning I met with Duck again for yet more glute punishment, together with some core and upper body work. I am too busy at work at the moment to run at lunchtime and I had a hair appointment after work so didn't get a chance to slip in another run. Surprisingly my glutes have actually felt a lot better today and I'm now hoping that if I rest tomorrow I'll be in a fairly good state for my big weekend of cycling. However I do still have an annoying and persistent wet cough. I have no idea what's up with that.

The Cats Evidently Know Best

2010-10-24T12:55:00.003+13:00

I went out with the Gearshifters yesterday and took a whopping three minutes off my last time trial time. The new bike rides like a dream! However with a sore throat, and conscious that I was supposed to ride 100k this morning, I headed off after the TT and waived the extra hills.

At 5.30a.m. this morning I had a minor freakout and decided that driving for two hours to Hunterville to ride a challenging course with a cut off time was not for me. Instead I had a little lie-in, ate breakfast, and headed out intending to ride Makara and the Bays.

Once on the Ridgeway it was evident it was windier than I'd thought. I decided to try the Bays first and headed down towards Owhiro Bay. The bike continued its seduction as I absolutely flew down Happy Valley, praying and loving at the same time! The fun ended when I turned the corner towards Island Bay and got slapped with a truly terrifying head wind that began to blow me all over the road.

At Island Bay I toyed with the idea of continuing but I just didn't feel safe. To add to my woes it started to rain. I turned around and stopped at Bata Street to call Hamish to ask him to come and get me but he didn't answer his phone. I nervously got on the bike and slogged it back up the hill to home. So much for 100k - I managed around 20.

So now I'm home frustrated and kicking myself. I really need to get a big ride in tomorrow or I'll be starting to feel nervous about my Taupo prep.

It started with a dangerous little idea

2010-10-21T22:01:00.001+13:00

I did something really selfish this week. I've been justifying it in a thousand little ways, but since I brought her home from the store yesterday I've been feeling less of the guilt and more of the love for the pure sexiness!

How Much More Awesome Can Today Get?

2010-10-13T19:59:00.003+13:00

Tea with Jo at Liquidate before work
A good weights workout
Wellington elects a green mayor
The Chilean miners are finally being rescued
The sun shone all day
I had the most awesome run ever in the Tinakori Hills
When I got home there was cider and curry waiting

Yes, today was one of those runs. I haven't run up in the Hills for months so didn't know how it would feel. I left my Garmin behind and decided that my main objective was simply to not walk the hills. However walking was never on the cards. I drifted up Wadestown Rd and into the town belt with my heartrate never even spiking. By the time I got onto the walkway I knew I was more trail fit than I'd realised so I bounced blissfully round my old loop, regretfully coming back out at Glenmore Rd and ducking back down through the Gardens to the office.

The weather was perfect tonight for a trail run - just cool enough and wind free. It reminded me again of the kind of running I really enjoy, the kind of running I want to do more of. I had a smile all afternoon after Hamish sent me a text to tell me Celia had been elected. I had an even bigger smile and a good dose of runner's high after that workout.

This week in review

2010-10-08T22:45:00.002+13:00

Saturday: Three hour bike ride round the Makara loop via Old Porirua Rd and Johnsonville.
Sunday: 80k cycle race in Featherston
Monday: 10k, hilly one hour run
Tuesday: 90 minutes of RPM (two classes)
Wednesday: Flat medium pace 5k run
Thursday: One hour session with Duck (sprint intervals from a lying position, lunges, squats, pressups, core work and upper body stuff with the TPR ropes), and a total of around 1.5 hours cycling
Friday: Rest and a massage!

Over 11 hours in total and boy did it feel good. At times it hurt and boy have I slept heavily each night. However I'm happy to see I can sustain this kind of training load again without blowing up. Tomorrow's a rest day as well ahead of a half marathon in Masterton on Sunday, then probably another rest day or two before I properly turn my attention to the Taupo Cycle Challenge.

Feel Free to Hate Me

2010-10-07T15:03:00.005+13:00

I love it when I get to work out in Frank Kitts on mornings like this.

Duck's early morning group training stretching at the end of their workout before my session.

I took these photos after cycling into town to meet Duck for our workout.

Such a hardship! I worked for four hours then cycled back home again via the Southern Coast. By that point a sneaky southerly wind had crept in so I gutted it out on exhausted legs. Rest tomorrow - phew!

Dinner and a Ride

2010-10-02T20:18:00.003+13:00

I've been hanging out for the first of the new season's asparagus. Usually I would make an asparagus risotto, but this year I saw a recipe in the Sunday Star Times I just had to try. It was amazing, if I do say so myself, so here it is:

Spaghetti with Asparagus Pesto and Smoked Chicken
2 bunches asparagus, woody ends trimmed
125g (1/2 cup) low fat ricotta
45g unsalted raw cashews
50g baby spinach leaves
3 garlic cloves, crushed
1t finely grated lemon rind
1/2 cup firmly packed fresh basil leaves
Salt and pepper to season
2T fresh lemon juice
250g dried spaghetti pasta
A little olive oil
175g smoked chicken breast, skin removed, shredded

Cook the asparagus in a large saucepan of boiling water for 1-2 minutes or until bright green, tender and crisp. Rinse under cold, running water. Drain. Cut half the asparagus into 3cm pieces and reserve.

Process the remaining asparagus, ricotta, cashews, spinach, garlic, lemon rind and half the basil in a food processor until smooth. Season with pepper and stir in half the lemon juice.

Cook the pasta in a large saucepan of boiling water until al dente. Drain and return to the pan. Drizzle with a little olive oil. Add the asparagus pesto, chicken, reserved asparagus, remaining lemon juice and basil to the pasta. Toss until well combined. Divide among serving bowls.

I used a little more smoked chicken (periperi, because I didn't have ordinary) than the recipe called for and forgot the olive oil. The lemon really made the dish and I added plenty of cracked pepper and a scattering of salt. This stretched to three large servings.

I had a great ride today. It was a stunning morning and therefore no surprise when we ended up riding the Makara loop. Dee decided to ride from the Johnsonville end, which is my less preferred direction. However it did give us the opportunity to ride up Old Porirua Rd, one of the more heinous climbs in Wellington. It maxes out at an 18% gradient and seems to go on forever.

I had a little trouble at the start when my gears decided to skip at the steep start of the climb, but eventually got to the top. I rode in the second of the three groups and only a small handful of us went with the Old Porirua Rd option, most going up Ngaio Gorge. I was the last of those brave enough to take the hard option.

In general I felt my hill legs weren't quite there today. I climbed easily enough but for some reason I was slow. I'm not necessarily complaining about that fact, it just puzzles me. I don't know what I can do to put on more pace and it feels bizarre to have other riders go flying past me. I tried to remember Dusty's advice that being slow means being able to enjoy being out there longer, and that helped!

After Old Porirua Rd it was on to the interminable rollers up to Johnsonville, with the always surprisingly long Cortina Rd at the end. We didn't stop for long at the top and it was nice to actually be able to overtake a few riders on the descent into Takarau Gorge. My downhill skills at least seem to have improved.

It rained here extremely heavily all day on Thursday and the whole area was still a watershed. In several places on the descent the road had been transformed into a shallow stream, and I wasn't quite sure whether it was possible to aquaplane on a road bike or not so I took it easy on those stretches. There were a lot of slips on the side of the road and there was gravel everywhere as a result. I've never seen so much water in the stream through the gorge either.

I had only intermittent company through the valley but was in a good mood and quite happy to be on my own. I was sitting on an ok pace but was just fractionally slower than the main pack. I was feeling good though and was actually happy to be at the bottom of the climb back up to the top of Makara Hill.

It was at about this point that my hill climbing legs started to wake up. In contrast to the last time I went this way (shortly before my surgery), when I'd felt weak and queasy, this time I cruised up the hill comfortably, overtaking three other riders on the way up.

From there it was down into Karori, up and over into Aro Valley, and back through the city to Parade. If someone had suggested a little ride around the Bays to finish I might have said yes.

Given that I have an 80k race in Featherston tomorrow all of the above is very encouraging. I will check in tomorrow to let people know how it goes. The weather is again looking good so cross fingers for a result.

The Perfect Protest

2010-10-02T13:47:00.002+13:00

Thanks so much to Brene for her wonderful project!

Sun Clear Through to Next Thursday!

2010-10-01T19:36:00.007+13:00

After work today I spent an hour wandering through the Botanical Gardens on a classic Wellington-on-a-good-day. The forecast is for sun and light winds clear through to Thursday, one day of rain, then several more days of sun. I have a ride with the Gearshifters tomorrow and then an 80k race round the Wairarapa on Sunday. I am a very, very happy girl. I will let these photos speak for themselves!

As a footnote, in case you're still reading - I have had two great runs this week - intervals training round the trails of Mt Vic on Monday night, and nearly 9k up to Kelburn and back via Aro Valley on Wednesday night. I also did two and a half RPM classes on Tuesday night (I lost motivation to complete the second), and had a very very wet workout in Frank Kitts on Thursday morning. The jury is still out as to whether I'll be running a half marathon or a 10k next Sunday. I am undercooked, to borrow the phrase, for the half. Sanity will probably win the day.

Brunch at the new Parade Cafe

2010-09-26T21:28:00.004+13:00

Those of you from Wellington will remember the Parade Cafe in Oriental Bay. The building in which the cafe was situated was recently demolished and apartments are being built in its place. Parade has now reopened in the Tug Boat next to Freyberg and, as luck would have it, is busier and better than ever.

H and I enjoyed brunch in a small side area nearly at water level. It was a blustery, choppy day on the sea and the swaying of the boat was a little disorientating at first. It was fun to watch seagulls hovering in the wind, fixed in place.

I have a bike ride and big week of training, plus race plans, to discuss. Right now though it's time for bed.

A Mad Kind of Day

2010-09-21T22:04:00.003+12:00

Today has been notable for its moments of oddness. It started out with the unbelievable sight above. Our 10 year old female Burmese, Ede, hated Tissy, our fluffy moggy, when Tissy was a kitten. She wouldn't even be in the same room with her and almost moved out of the house for six months. To see them eating from the same plate - so much cuteness! I had the warm fuzzies all morning.

From there things got increasingly bizarre. From strange guys initiating random conversations in the lift to a guy wandering round the weights floor at the gym in a tiny pair of white shorts and a t-shirt a couple of sizes too small for him (and he wasn't a small lad), to the water that suddenly started streaming down from the ceiling of our floor. We're on the 13th floor of an 18 storey building and apparently there's a server room above us. Something went wrong with the ventilation and suddenly there were bulging ceiling tiles and buckets everywhere. Thankfully this time around none were near my team.

I left the office at 4.45 to make my way to Extreme for RPM, and was greeted with this:

Some poor road worker put his jack hammer right through a water main. Someone wasn't having a good day.

Skirting the flood I made it safely to the gym and then proceeded to do three RPM classes followed by ten minutes of cadence drills. I was fueled by an Em's Power Bar (Oatmeal and Chocolate Chip), which I swear was crack. It's release week so I got to hear release 48 two more times (on top of the two repeats on Saturday). I've decided it's probably one of the best crafted releases ever. Sure, I wouldn't have said I was likely to have any of them individually on my iPod, though they are definitely growing on me (One Love!). I just think they are all pitched nicely and they all fit really well together. It's as if the track selectors have finally gotten to grips with the new RPM format.

I was thrilled with how each class went tonight. I can honestly say that I didn't hold back in any of them. I left it all out there in the crank room. However I also felt strong and consistent the whole time. Even during the last hill I was still working the dial even though my legs were burning. I never run out of energy. Thanks Em!

Add to that the 8k run we did last night with the squad and it's turning into a solid week. I am still going to run tomorrow but it will definitely be pitched at an easy recovery level and pace. I have another big weekend ahead so I need to let my body get over tonight's punishment!

And she rode!

2010-09-19T14:20:00.003+12:00

Ok, so in the face of a storm the size of Australia I will admit to wimping out of a ride yesterday morning. Well, the predictions were for severe gales. What can I say? Instead I ran for 45 minutes with Duck and Sarah. During the whole run I felt absolutely hideous. My legs were dead and I felt slow, slow, slow. We were supposed to be running up Aro Valley and back via Kelburn but I just didn't have it in me. I turned around at the base of the hill and ran back to Freyberg.

By the time I got there the wind was getting up and I wasn't confident of not being blown off my bike so I retreated to the gym and did two RPM classes. I didn't feel good about my decision, but I made up for it by flogging myself and finishing sweaty and with very shaky legs. It was Release 48 day, which meant I got to hear the same tracks twice, but it also meant that there were two trainers teaching. The first class was taken by Jude and Stephen, and the second by Justine and Stephen. Yay - three of my favourite teachers! Add to that packed classes full of people in a good mood, and most of whom knew each other, and you have a recipe for an awesome workout.

Of course I later discovered that the wind, while certainly up there, didn't reach severe level. In fact I'm pretty sure I've ridden in worse. So when I woke up at 7am this morning and it was gorgeous outside, well I wasn't going to make the same mistake again.

I knew that the Gearshifters would have done hills on Saturday, and I knew what that probably meant. My mission now was to not let myself talk myself out of doing them myself. I'm a bit bad that way. I start out all keen then I somehow find myself doing a gentle spin round the Bays. A gentle spin around the Bays is not going to get me round Taupo.

So it was that I started out from Oriental Bay, a girl on a mission. The wind had gotten up already but it could have been worse. I started out sitting on the tail of a small pack of riders training to complete 40k of Taupo each. I left them behind at Evans Bay and headed off up Mt Crawford.

I'm sure I've gotten up Crawford more quickly but to my surprise the climb itself didn't feel too bad. I'm not sure I ever got into my comfortable climbing rhythm, but I certainly didn't kill myself either. It didn't seem to take that long to get up to the prison, where I stopped for a quick drink before heading off down the other side. Halfway down I nearly t-boned an elderly woman in a late model silver car. She pulled up to a stop sign on my right then decided to check only her right side before driving straight across the intersection. Luckily I have a loud voice and my "WHOA, WHOA, STOPPPPPP!" got through to her. She stopped just in time for me to go swerving past. I joked to a couple walking past that I was certainly awake now and kept going.

Down the hill and back onto the waterfront. I turned right and headed for Lyall Bay. I wasn't breaking any speed records but I wasn't concerned as my main energy today was reserved for the hills. When I got to Lyall I stopped again for a quick bite from a Power Bar and then it was up Sutherland Rd, otherwise known as that stupidly steep, OMG I can't believe I just CHOSE to do this, climb. I swear it nearly killed me. I swear that about three quarters of the way up I was panicking thinking I was going to have to stop and that I wasn't going to be able to unclip and that I'd fall off. However I didn't stop, I didn't fall off, and I didn't die. At the top I paused briefly to consider my own mortality as evidenced by the pounding of my heart, then I turned and cycled back down again. Rather anti-climactic really.

I had one more climb on the schedule for today. I turned up Queen's Drive and headed towards Newtown, turning right at the base of Mt Victoria up Alexandra Rd. I don't know whether I found a second wind somewhere or what, but I think I fairly flew up there. If I was following the schedule to the T I would have done three hill repeats before climbing to the top, but I decided doing all that on my own counted for enough effort for the day. I cycled my way slowly back down the narrow winding roads on the side of the mount and made it safely back to my car.

I love how proud of myself I get after a bike ride like that. It's hard to explain exactly how many demons I needed to tackle to get out there and do it. I'm also happy that I don't feel overly tired, in fact I feel quite energised. When I got home I cooked corn fritters with bacon and avocado and I could tell I'd burned some calories before they were amazingly good.

Now all I have to do is work out how I can get my long run mojo back in time to do the half marathon in a few weeks. Erk ....

And then I ran

2010-09-17T17:56:00.000+12:00

Thanks to Lucinda.

Slow

2010-09-12T15:58:00.003+12:00

The results of the cycling time trial from yesterday are in, and I am officially slow. I am slow as in 'that can't be right, surely the results are wrong' slow. I am trying not to let this upset me.

I went out for my long run today and twenty minutes in I looked out to Eastbourne and saw a band of rain. I wondered idly whether it was moving towards me and then a few minutes later got my answer when it started to hose down. I proceeded to take a bath as I ran backwards and forwards around the Southern coast, stopping off on my way back past my car to remove my iPhone. By the time I met Jo for coffee one and a half hours after I'd set out I was sodden. I sat on a towel in Maranui and tried not to drip all over the floor. Thankfully it was quite warm and my merino jacket kept me from freezing.

By the time I'd made it home, showered and changed, the sun had come out again and it was lovely. Of course. Sigh.

Now, if only I could find some straightforward explanation for why I'm so slow on my bike. Something easy to fix, like a fit issue for example?

Post-ride coffee

2010-09-11T13:49:00.004+12:00

Today I left Freyberg at 7.30a.m. for a run, then met the Gearshifters for a ride. We did our usual time trial from Shelley Bay round to Lyall Bay. There was a headwind and I was (depressingly) slow, but then what's new? I can only get faster, right?

After the time trial we rode round to Owhiro Bay, taking a spin up Murchison Rd before looping around and riding back up Happy Valley and into town again. Murchison Rd was my first test of my hill legs. The verdict? Could be better, could be worse. I've got some work to do before Taupo, that's for sure.

That Update

2010-09-10T21:41:00.002+12:00

Well, I guess I owe people an update, so I'd better start writing. I am not quite sure exactly where this is going to go, but let's just embark on the journey and see where it ends up!

It's been 11 months roughly since the neurosurgery that turned the summer of 2009/2010 into clusterf@#k of monumental proportions. Since then life has largely returned to normal. What helped in the end was deciding to take a big step and start taking an anxiety medication. My mind had been put into such a spin by everything that had gone on up there that it needed some assistance to rediscover its equilibrium.

Apart from the fact that I put on around 5kg almost straight away, the medication did what it was supposed to do. Suddenly I could sleep again and the worst of the vertigo symptoms died away. For the record I still think the surgery messed up my vestibular system, but my mind then latched onto the disturbance and took it to another level. Lucky me - I've had issues with anxiety in the past and have thankfully been able to get over them before without help, though I now think I could definitely have done with some medical assistance back then as well.

What also helped was starting to exercise again. I started training with Duck again, then running with the Squad. I ran a 10k in June, and although it wasn't fast it was comfortable and fun. I started running trails - something I thought at one point would be impossible with my vision issues. I even started cycling again.

In July I committed to 30 Days of Yoga. Around that time I also started suffering what seemed to be side effects from the medication - mostly restless legs and muscle spasms that kept me awake when I was trying to fall asleep. Seeing as I was doing so well I talked my GP into agreeing that I try coming off the meds. I'd only been on them for four months rather than the usual six, but I was motivated and eager. The weaning went pretty well too, other than the standard side effects, including tingling hands and legs and an 'electrical' or buzzy feeling in my head.

As the calming aspects of the medication started to ease off I regained a new sense of energy and enthusiasm. Everything I took on I took on to the extreme. I practiced hip openers in yoga until my poor hip flexors groaned with pain. I went back to lifting weights in the morning, running or doing RPM at night, and then threw a yoga session on top of that. I started to get some of the vertigo symptoms back. However I was holding it all together until a hellish week at work started to tip me back over the edge. By the Thursday afternoon I was crying out to go home and just disappear into bed for a while. However I was booked on a flight to Auckland that night to attend a conference in Auckland the next day.

I was quite aware that I was starting to feel a bit manic. I was suddenly gripped with insomnia again and started taking sleeping pills for the first time in months. On Friday night I lay in bed as obsessive thoughts cycled over and over through my mind, and it took forever to get to sleep. On Saturday morning I was up early to meet a friend for an RPM class, then straight after that I met with another friend to see her new house. We had a lovely visit but my mind was still racing and she soon realised that I wasn't quite right.

By the time I got home on Saturday night I was a little bit of a mess. I was really very rational about how irrational I was feeling. I knew I was getting obsessive. Funnily enough, one of the neurologists I saw had asked me if I'd ever suffered from OCD and I'd said no. Now I realised that I was in fact experiencing an OCD of a kind, and that was causing my vertigo symptoms to relapse.

As wonderful as it had been to be off the meds, as much as it had for a while made me feel like I'd recovered, that I was normal and had 'control' of my life, I knew that I still needed some assistance. I also knew that admitting that was not a failure. I took a half dose of the medication that night and saw my doctor again as soon as I could. She was very positive and made me feel that I wasn't doomed to be on this stuff forever, just that my mind needed a little longer to get over the trauma of the surgery. That resonated with me. I'd been through a traumatic experience, and I was still recovering from it. It was all so simple when it was put to me that way!

So I started taking a half dose of the medication again. The relief kicked in an improvement in the vertigo symptoms long before the medication had any real time to take effect. It felt like I'd been given a safety blanket. After two weeks I knew the meds really were working when I felt my mind let out a kind of sigh, and my body finally relaxed. I got back off the sleeping pills again.

By August though I knew I needed some time out. I decided to take an August 'mini-break' from blogging and simply post the occasional photo. I decided to stop beating myself up about not wanting to communicate with all the wonderful people I'd been put into contact with during the 30 Days of Yoga. I was feeling overwhelmed and inadequate, and I needed to be kind to myself and to let being myself be enough.

Now I'm happy with my life, but am left grasping a number of strands that I can't quite weave into a whole just yet. For now I'm not making audacious goals (well, other than committing to train for the Lake Taupo Cycle Challenge again, duh). I've decided to stay silent when trying to be present in the blogging community wears me out. Right now I'm focusing on that which I know I can achieve. I know I can work full time and do a pretty good job of it. I know I can run or cycle most days, and throw in the odd weights or yoga session. However if I don't take a lot of photos, if I don't write, if I don't plan and cook amazing meals or have a tidy, clutter free house, if I have a huge pile of books in the spare bedroom that I may not read again but can't let go, well that's all ok.

I'm not sure what is me still being in recovery mode, what is the side effects of the medication, or whether I'm being genuinely lazy. I would like, for example, to drop the weight but I can't bring myself to worry about all the chocolate and junk I'm eating which stops me from doing so. I know it's slowing me down when I'm running and I don't like how tight my clothes are. However I know it may be difficult while I'm still on the meds and they take the edge off my ability to care. When I run it's harder to make the effort to keep going and not walk. Again, am I being lazy or are the meds having a negative effect on my ability to push myself? If I'm mentally not on top of my game should I be attempting a half marathon in a month or to cycle 160k?

On the other hand, there are days like last Wednesday night when I have a blistering run. There are days when the sun shines and I get the kind of euphoric joy I used to get pre-surgery, and which I enjoyed briefly when I was off the meds (before it turned into mania). There are days when I'm reminded of how horrid my life was just a few short months ago and how miraculous it is that I'm here doing what I am now.

I say I've stopped making audacious goals, and then I give examples of how I'm doing exactly that. I think the difference is more subtle. I'm over the grand gesture. I want to just live life, have fun with good friends, sleep well every night. In a way, although I don't want to clear my house of all my worldly possessions, I feel like I've let go of attachments in other ways. I guess I don't assume so much about what life will be like in the future. For a while during my darkest moments my psychologist told to stop worrying about the future and to just focus on getting through the day. For a while there I had permission to stop planning, and that was a great freedom.

Now I find that I'm not so much looking for a higher purpose, some deep meaning for everything. Right now life is what it is. Some people have more than others, good things happen to bad people, bad things to good. An earthquake the size of that which hit Christchurch recently may hit Wellington and I may no longer have a house over my head. Right now I like my life, and I'm full of relief that I have so much of it back again. I know I'm a survivor, and I guess I take comfort in that.

I've had to let my life become quite small to survive the last year, however there are signs that it will expand again. I started to hook into something with the yoga that I need to begin exploring again. I returned to the Karori Sanctuary again a couple of weeks ago and something in my heart swelled to be back. Some of my deepest moments of relaxation have come from being out in the sun, or like last night, tucked up inside while it poured outdoors.

I want to run. I want to cycle. I want to spend time with friends. I want to be alone. I want to be outdoors. I want to be at home on the sofa or in bed with the cats and Hamish. I want to be here now, and for now I think that will have to be enough. It's spring, and I feel like I might be emerging again. I have a whole missed summer to make up for.

First Gearshifters Taupo Ride

2010-09-04T13:41:00.003+12:00

I woke at dawn to the most perfect morning for riding imaginable. I got up just before 7, sent out a 'woohoo' on Facebook, then straight afterwards realised there'd been a 7.4 quake in Christchurch. Damn.

All the same, it was time to ride. Around 45 cyclists gathered at a perfectly still Oriental Bay for an introductory cruise around the Bays and back via Brooklyn.

We kinda took over the footpath. We tried to keep out of people's way, but inevitably there were a few irritated glances.

However the ride itself was heavenly. Cycling round the Southern Coast was strange. There was a big dump of snow on the Kaikouras last night and looking across at them it was hard to not think about how close the quake seemed. There will be a few people setting up emergency packs round here now.

After the ride I cranked out a slow 7k run - well - a 7k shuffle. It was so lovely that it was more just a case of being out there to enjoy the day. Running AND riding in the same day? I guess I'm back!

First Spring Storm

2010-09-03T18:44:00.003+12:00

It's been beautiful all day here, but the weather forecast was for a big Southerly storm to hit at some point, bringing rain, wind, and snow down to 400 metres. At around 5.30 tonight it landed, bringing spectacular thunder and lightening and a rather intense hail storm. Thankfully Hamish made it home on his scooter in the nick of time. I was drinking wine at work and stayed in the office till the worst was over.

I'm supposed to be riding with the Gearshifters squad tomorrow. It's our first Taupo training session. Last year I remember it pouring with rain and there being gale force winds. We rode 5k then the majority of us turned around and legged it back home. I'm hoping tomorrow will be better. Most of this is supposed to blow over by the morning so hopefully we might get a bit wet and blown around, but nothing too serious.

First Day of Spring

2010-09-01T19:58:00.002+12:00

The plum tree is in flower.

The morning sun was out over the Orongarongas.

The neighbour's tree is a riot of pink.

And tonight the wind stopped and the sun set over Wellington a good day.

We gathered for a run, and it was very, very good.

I have a lot to catch up on, and now that my mini August break is over and my sanity is returning I'll be doing a little more writing. Life is good. That's enough of a summary for now ...

Feed Me, Cuddle Me

2010-08-14T17:09:00.002+12:00

Friday: Waiting for the bus

2010-08-14T11:58:00.002+12:00

Grey, damp and dreary.

Walking Home

2010-08-10T18:45:00.002+12:00

Friday Photo(s): Gaffer

2010-08-06T20:42:00.002+12:00

Gaffer likes being groomed.

Schilling for New Toys

2010-08-06T18:39:00.001+12:00

Wanting me some new toys!

Thursday Photo: My Constant Companion

2010-08-05T19:20:00.002+12:00

Wednesday Photo: Cats from the archives

2010-08-04T19:48:00.003+12:00

Ede's brother Linux as a kitten. He was an extremely beautiful young lilac Burmese who unfortunately went missing a few weeks after we moved to Wellington when he was only three years old.

Tuesday Photo

2010-08-03T19:00:00.003+12:00

A beautiful evening for a run in Wellington - Te Papa (Our Place), the museum, is illuminated in the dusk.

Monday Photo

2010-08-02T16:18:00.001+12:00

Back at my desk on a Monday. Photos on the wall of my pod.

One Friday in Auckland

2010-08-01T20:31:00.003+12:00

A brisk walk up One Tree Hill in Auckland as the sun set ...

The clouds were so amazing I just had to keep stopping to take photos.

Rangitoto in the distance.

Earlier that morning walking through Cornwall Park to get to a conference at the Sorrento had been an eerie experience to say the least. The fog didn't burn off till mid-day.

Skyline Walkway Run

2010-07-25T16:48:00.007+12:00

I ran around 10km today in the sun on the Skyline Track. It was the first time I've run most of it, and it was heaps of fun. In places it was ridiculously muddy, in places rather steep. Some of the track was narrow, ridged single track, some wide and well graded. Most of it was farmland, and there were cow pats everywhere. Even though it was a relatively still day in the city, up on the ridgeline the Southerly was still blowing strong and to stop was to get cold, rapidly. I stupidly stopped a little too often to take photos, and that, combined with stupidly not taking on a gel, led to me deciding to bail short of the Kaukau summit and head back down to Ngaio via the Bells Line track. Next time Kaukau will be mine .... This was a good run though. I felt very strong throughout and could have gone the whole 16k had I needed to.

Photo above: sheep, something this country is well known for.

Cows, because you can never have too many photos of cows.

Looking East over the suburbs to the harbour.

Kaukau in the distance. The pylons below are carrying power to the whole North island via the cable between the South and North islands.

Stunning views.

Views out to the west coast of the island.

A relatively well graded section of the track.

Looking North with the power lines in the bottom of the picture.

Looking south.

West Wind wind turbines in the distance.

Another turbine photo. I just find them beautiful.

An update in bullet points

2010-07-15T20:36:00.002+12:00

The last Xterra run in Belmont Park was crazy fun. It was around 2 degrees at the start line, but it was a beautiful sunny day. The first 2k was a long slow climb up a series of switchbacks through the trees, followed by a long, gradual descent down a four wheel drive track. The views from the top were breathtaking. There was a long, steep and very muddy section of track which involved lowering oneself down whilst grasping hold of nearby foliage. I only fell over once and consider this an achievement. The last section was a run on grass alongside a small stream, which we had to wade through five times. It's the slowest, but one of the most enjoyable, 7k races I've ever run.
I got home, grabbed some lunch, and because it was such a nice day I headed out round the Bays on my bike. My legs were shredded. I stuck to an easy gear and spun my legs out. It was fun!
On Monday night I ran out of gas during Duck's Body Blast workout. I realised I'd not taken as much Hydrocortisone as usual. Idiot.
On Tuesday I redeemed myself by running around 8k round Wellington's waterfront on yet another stunning winter evening. There was a sickle moon, the fountain was pluming, the ripples in the harbour were a molten gold, there was a ferry going out and a huge cargo ship was coming in. I put some appropriate music on my iPod and enjoyed myself.
Wednesday was another Body Blast session. My hip flexors were screaming.
This morning Duck and I had a session in Frank Kitts. The weather was again stunning. It was a little warmer than it has been, the harbour was flat, the sunrise was divine. The best part? I got to work out with Kettle Bells. Do you know how many years I've been wanting me some bells? Happy Pip.
I had a three hour workshop with other managers on the Department's new relationship model. It was surprisingly good, and I was unusually inspired.
I was inspired enough to do an RPM class after work. This is despite the screaming hip flexors. I am my own worst enemy. It was good!
I got home to a shiny new iPhone. I am excited!
Oh, and there was cider. I am very, very happy.

An Urban Wellington Run in Pictures

2010-07-04T17:05:00.009+12:00

If you want to see this run as it actually unfolded, you'll need to scroll to the end of the post and read backwards. I always forget which order Blogger uploads photos in! Anyway, today was another Wellington-on-a-good-day. It's the middle of winter and ok, the weather's supposed to pack in tomorrow, but we've had several days now of perfect conditions. I was feeling good after yesterday's bike ride so decided I'd run the City to Sea trail from home, the reverse direction from the run Jo and I did a few weeks ago. Last time I felt terrible on the hills and walked a lot. Today was redemption time. I'm pleased to say I did, actually, run most of it, including the hills. I redefined shuffle, but I worked it all the same!

So, the picture above is of the little trail that runs behind my office building, which is out-of-frame to the left of the photo. To my right is the motorway. It's a surprising little urban oasis and usually marks the end of my runs, not the start!

This is Wellington's oldest graveyard. The motorway was built right through the centre of it. A number of graves were dug up and the remains reinterred in a communal burial ground off to the left of this photo. At the top of the shot you can see the footbridge over the motorway, crossing over to the other side of the cemetery. Again, this is only 100 metres or so from my office.

At the top of the cemetery, looking back down the hill. There are lots of little gravel trails you can take instead of the main footpath seen here.

A busy day at the rose gardens, with the cafe in the distance. Everyone was out today enjoying the sunshine! When I had a sore ankle a couple of years ago I was limited to running on the grass, and used to do spiraling laps around, and around these gardens.

One of my favourite little trails, the Serpentine Path, again only minutes from my office.

My path today took me through the sculpture walk. Sorry for the low quality of my photos. I'm getting an iPhone in a few weeks, then they will improve! My current phone does fit well into my fuel belt though.

This photo isn't very clear, but there's a conical sculpture at the top of the hill. Someone is standing inside it.

At the top of the Botanical Gardens, with the cable car in the foreground. Below is Salamanca Park, part of the City to Sea walkway. So after all that climbing you promptly head straight downhill again!

Another little graveyard. I had no idea this one existed until I ran this way with Jo.

Very lovely!

The Aro Street shops. This is a very historic and lovely inner-city suburb.

A typical narrow little inner-city street.

Looking up the street. No offstreet parking here!

An urban run wouldn't be complete without urban graffiti. This on the climb up to Tanera Park.

And at the top, the dog walking area in Tanera Park, with lots of happy dogs! There is also a community garden here, but I seem to have deleted the photo accidentally.

From Tanera Park the walkway crosses Ohiro Rd and heads downhill into Central Park. This lovely little bridge is one of my favourites.

From the middle of Central Park looking down the hill towards the city and harbour.

From Central Park the walkway crosses over Brooklyn Rd and up Bidwill Street, rejoining the town belt as it skirts the edge of Mt Cook. This section is a mix of grass, path and trail.

Again, sorry for the blurry photo, but this is a rather cute little bridge over a city stream.

Running through a tranquil trail section of the walkway. Although there are pines here and there, planted by the early settlers, they are slowly being removed and replaced with natives. In places the pine needles made for very treacherous running, particularly where they covered and disguised a series of shallow steps. It would have been very easy to turn an ankle!

Out of the trail again and across the road to reenter the walkway.

Here's a good example of a stand of pine trees. One day they will all be gone, and tall native timber will have replaced them. The pines are slowly being replaced by trees such as Rata, however they are very slow growing so this is a long-term project.

Grass and gorse, more typical Wellington running!

You can see our house in this photo. I'm not going to tell you which one it is - you'll have to guess!

So, if I were doing this run in the order the photos are shown, I'd run down off this little knoll, skirt around the edge of Macallister Park, then plod back up about a kilometre or so uphill to home. Instead this morning I jogged slowly downhill and around the park to warm up. Much more civilised!

I took quite a while to run 10k today, but of course I stopped a lot for photos. I was very happy with how I felt and had a great time out there. Wellington on a good day really can't be beaten!

Matt Smith and Orbital at Glastonbury

2010-07-03T21:32:00.002+12:00

I'm sharing this all over the place because it's quite the yummiest thing I've seen and heard for some time. Sure Matt's timing is all over the place at the start, but I'm willing to forgive him. Sigh.

I'm back on my bike

2010-07-03T12:38:00.003+12:00

And I have the BIGGEST smile on my face. Even if we were riding into a stonking Northerly that had our pace down to 13kph at times. Seriously, that wind was nasty! However I felt strong. We only did a short ride today but I could easily have kept going. I felt sooo comfortable on Cleo, and Julia commented that I looked it.

This, this feels like a recovery milestone. I am VERY happy.

Another Race Report!

2010-06-29T21:39:00.003+12:00

Damn those new tights are unflattering!

I ran the Harbour Capital 10k race on Sunday. It was cold and wet and I was glad I wasn't doing the half marathon. Knowing I was only doing 10k made it easy to get out of bed. My usual pre-race prep went to plan, right up till the point I discovered Hamish had left the headlights on in the Honda the day before and the car battery was most emphatically dead. One quick cab ride later I was dropping my bag off at the bag drop. Sarah found me in the crowd and we chatted till it was time to move out to the start line, at which point I realised I'd totally forgotten to put my Garmin on.

I was trying two new things this race. I had an Adidas cap on to see if it would help keep the rain off my glasses. I was nervous the Southerly would whip it off and so I bobby-pinned it to my head and had no issues. It has a super-long brim and kept the rain out of my face, though looking down had the effect of blinkering me and my face was hidden from the maraudering photographers. I was also wearing a pair of Adidas running gloves. It wasn't really cold enough to need them but I wanted to see how they felt. They ended up being lovely to wear and not at all too warm.

Sarah and I ran together for the first few kilometres but at a certain point she slipped behind me and was gone. I started out super easy, as I have a terrible habit of going out too fast and crashing by the time I get to Oriental Bay. It helped that I started near the back of the field, leading to a fair bit of ducking and weaving to begin with. As the field opened up it also led to me overtaking runner after runner. I kept picking off women, deciding to hit on any who were wearing the official running shirt. There were plenty of them so I wasn't stuck for choice!

In the end I felt good the whole way around the course. I sat at what felt like a slightly harder than easy pace and just went with it. I never lost any kind of mental battle out there. The whole time I knew it was only 10k. I knew I could run 10k, and I also knew Sarah was behind me and that I didn't want her to catch me!

I never saw Duck, who was out on her bike with the half marathon girls. I did however see another of the Les Mills trainers at Freyberg, and one of our squad members at Te Papa. Cheering and waving was called for. Round Pt Jerningham we started overtaking the half marathon tail-enders, and that was extra motivation.

Before too long the race was over. I ran a two minute PB, and finished exactly where I thought I would given how I was feeling during the run. I can run 10k several minutes faster than that, but I've never been able to run a race of that distance while feeling good, so this was a triumph more significant than the time. I placed 50% in the 10k field, and 60% of the 10k women and women in my age-group. I am such a mid-packer!

The rest of the day was mad. Hamish picked me up and we bought a new dishwasher before having lunch at Sweet Mother's Kitchen then doing the grocery shopping. Finally I got to go home for a shower. Soon after I left home again to have coffee at Diamond Deli with the lovely Marianne to talk about yoga and life. We talked solidly for an hour and a half and then the conversation came to a natural end and we went our respective ways (thanks Marianne if you are reading this - it was a lovely afternoon).

Hamish and I watched the season finale of Dr Who, then it was time to head out again to see Bill Bailey. The man is hilarious, intelligent and an incredibly talented musician and I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

Nonetheless I was yawning hard by the end of the show and happy to get to bed for a well-earned sleep. It occurred to me on several occasions that a few months ago I couldn't have dreamed I'd be enjoying such a full, rewarding day. Those were the dark days when I was stuck on the sofa in the midst of anxiety-induced vestibular disorder.

I felt truly blessed to have all those opportunities for celebration afforded to me over the course of one wet, wintery Sunday. And I haven't even told you about my return to the Tinakori Hills in my new trail running shoes yet!

Lost Generation

2010-06-26T20:12:00.000+12:00

Spoke too soon

2010-06-25T20:29:00.004+12:00

So, that little cold that I'd escaped? Well, yeah, I didn't. After a Thursday night on the dancefloor I woke Friday in full-blown lurgy. I spent the next four days almost entirely in bed. I was gripped with an overwhelming exhaustion which floored me. I didn't start to feel better until the Tuesday, when I gave in to whatever had its grip on me and just focused on healing.

My only activity during that time was a little yoga, having signed up for a 30 Days of Yoga challenge. I could have just chosen savasana, but the more stubborn side of me refused to. Instead I wheezed my way through downwards dogs, wondering where my arm strength was as I hovered down into cobra, gasping for breath through the warrior poses, collapsing into child's pose disturbingly often.

All this time I was still suffering from strangely restless, twitching limbs and a sense of weakness in my arms and legs. My doctor and I agreed it was time to wean myself off one of my medications, which is known for causing restless limbs. I downed magnesium and zinc, and slowly, even as I worried about more ominous causes of my symptoms, everything started to ease. As of today I'm still a little twitchy, but it's faded again into background noise.

Poor packing led to me missing the Jog Squad's Wednesday night run, so Duck's workout with my on the Thursday morning was the first in a week. I wheezed during our warmup run, but otherwise felt ok, and coughed a reasonable amount of gunge from my lungs.

Friday saw me sitting in a lunchtime RPM class. On Saturday morning I was up to join the Squad for a run round Lyall Bay. The half marathon girls had been out for 40 minutes by the time we met them at Maranui. Us 10kers were to run for 40 minutes, however I was still feeling slow, weak and wheezy, so turned around at 15 minutes and ran back into the Northerly. A passing male runner told me I was looking good (I wasn't), and the leader of a cycle pack commented on the brightness of my pink Adidas as he rode by. I was grateful for the support of random strangers as I staggered into Maranui, sweat dripping from my face, and waited for everyone else to join me for coffee.

On Sunday I ran the second of the Xterra runs, in the Rimutaka Forest Park in Wainui (leaving from the Harriers clubrooms). I had planned to do the medium course but with my lungs in their clogged state I opted to stick with the short. Jo offered to carpool, so her friend Dave and I waited together for her in a carpark in Taranaki Street at 7.30 on Sunday morning.

The weather forecast was for occasional showers, but someone forgot to define the word "occasional". In Wainui we were greeted with steady rain. It was even still dark at 8.00. We told ourselves that at least it wasn't cold and nor was it windy, so we merely sheltered under the clubroom veranda for as long as we could, only assembling at the start line as the race began.

Given the temperature I opted for a long-sleeved polyprop under my t-shirt and a sleeveless windbreaker. It proved to be the perfect combination and I was never cold, nor was I ever too warm. However I had a major issue with the rain on my glasses and spent a lot of the course fumbling half-blind, particularly in the bush where it was extremely dark. On the downhill sections, which were straight if somewhat steep, I longed to put my foot down but was reduced to fumbling my way blindly through rivers of rain. I really need to talk to my optometrist about contact lenses. There is no way I can't wear them again!

The short course would, had I been well, have been extremely pleasant. We ran across the sports fields and then down a short stretch of road before heading into a park along the side of the river. The one hill, sold as being small, was in fact quite long and steep. If I'd had any semblance of my normal lung capacity I would have attempted to run it, however I was wheezing like an asthmatic, so ended up walking a fair amount of the climb. Even on the flat I was occasionally reduced to walking to allow myself to cough up yet another piece of lung.

The rain continued to come down in ridiculous amounts. As the trail widened out the amount of water on it only increased. Eventually there was no point in even trying to dodge the worst of the puddles. There was a perverse delight in slogging through them. When I got home I dumped my old Adidas at the door and they're still sitting there I think they're dead.

Over the finishline I downed some water then squelched off to get changed. Too late I realised I'd forgotten a towel or dry shoes and socks. I settled on a chair in the clubrooms and waited for everyone else to finish. Duck, Jo and Dave were all doing the long course, so it was a long wait. They all eventually came in within minutes of each other. The conditions on the long course were, apparently, extreme, and the rain continued to get harder long after I was safe and relatively warm and dry in the clubrooms. That everyone found the run hard and hellish wasn't really surprising, given that the course was described as technical. Apparently the actual track was hard to follow, and a number of people wandered off in the wrong direction.

I came away feeling remarkably neutral about the race. On the one hand I was appalled by how much I'd had to walk. On the other, only a few days earlier I'd been confined to bed and wiped out by a virus. In the end I was glad to have been hard core enough to go out in atrocious conditions. I knew that my performance was not indicative of my true ability. I went home, had a long shower, and rationalised.

That, of course, wasn't the end. On Monday night I had another Squad run. We ran for fifty minutes from Te Papa out to the BP on Adelaide Rd and back. I was feeling a lot better and ran reasonably strongly, but had a series of traffic light break opportunities to catch my breath. I had a glimpse of my old runner self.

I had planned to do an RPM class on Tuesday but the weather was stunning so I chose instead to run 7k slowly around the waterfront in the sun. I wore my iPod and listened to a London Elektricity album so as to not have to listen to my wheeze. The dubstep turned out to be the perfect rhythm for an easy run.

Wednesday was wet and gloomy, so perfect for an RPM class. I misread the timetable and ended up having to do the class of an instructor I'm not overly fond of. I fumed as he deliberately ignored the official choreography. By the time I'd endured him instructing us to do the entire last hill climb out of the saddle I was livid. However I've been around long enough now to do my own thing. I got my own workout done, but the last track smashed my quads.

I had a break on Wednesday night then on Thursday morning I met Duck for another workout. It was another still and strangely mild morning. Duck took me down to Oriental Bay where we took a power bag and medicine ball down past the children's play area, where a series of concrete steps extend out into the water. It was a surreal and beautiful place to train. At the moment Duck has me vaulting walls. On Thursday this meant putting my arms onto a waist-high wall and vaulting my feet up onto it. At the start I thought there was no way it was ever going to happen, and I have a nice bruise on one knee to show where I tried and failed early on. Of course though by the end of it I was vaulting reasonably proficiently and feeling quite pleased with myself.

Add to that powerbag squats and thrusts, step ups, lunges in the sand of the petanque court (including backwards walking lunges, which are EVIL in the sand), planks, side planks, and evil, evil core work with the medicine ball, and some upper body work with the rope climbing frame in the playground, and I was happily smashed.

The walking lunges and a series of sprints up the ramp from the beach to the road left my calves feeling quite tight and my upper quads were definitely present. Unfortunately the day's workout wasn't over, as I still had to meet the Squad that night for a run. By mid-afternoon I was falling asleep at my desk. Thursday nights are usually a rest for me so both my mind and my body were protesting at the thought of more exertion.

To make it worse, only one of the other Squad girls turned up, Trudi. So much for running slowly at the back of the pack! Duck, Trudi and I set out around the Bays, running to the bottom of Maidavale then turning and running back. We started out slowly for 20 minutes, but after the turnaround something happened and the run back turned into a bit of a hammer fest. I kept glancing at my Garmin watching as our speed increased. Mentally I was finding it really hard, physically I was pleasantly surprised by how well I was coping. To run so powerfully on the race course after eight days of exercise? Now that was psychologically priceless.

By 9.00 on Thursday night I was slumped in a little pile on the sofa. I was feeling that good kind of post-exercise exhaustion, accompanied by a healthy dose of endorphins. I've really missed that worn-out kind of happy, and the deep, peaceful sleep which accompanies it.

Today and tomorrow are rest days. Sunday is the 10k race. I'm glad I'm only doing the 10k. I'm going to go out there and enjoy it then cheer on everyone else as they finish the half. Come October it'll be me running the Wairarapa Country Half, and come November, all things going well, I will be cycling round Lake Taupo with the Gearshifters.

And a miracle recovery

2010-06-09T18:59:00.002+12:00

I felt my temperature break early yesterday evening and when I woke this morning it was difficult to believe I'd been sick. The first thing I noticed was that my back was almost pain-free. After that I realised that my sinuses were almost clear and that I seemed to have good energy levels. I packed a gym bag just in case, but told Hamish I realised I shouldn't really be exercising.

However as the day went on I felt better and better, and the weather was stunning. It was still cold out there, but it was clear and still and crisp - perfect winter running conditions. By 5.00pm I was full of enthusiasm for a run.

Unfortunately my subconscious seemed to know better. Not only had I forgotten my hair band, I'd also packed my most-padded cycling shorts in lieu of tights. There was no way I was running in those nappies. I considered RPM but I hate spinning without my cycling shoes and it's even worse to not have a hair band.

I figured the gods were trying to tell me something, so now I'm at home and there's chicken roasting in the oven. I'm still meeting Duck in the morning, and if it's still this nice out there I'll run at lunchtime. Worse things have happend.

In which I slightly break myself

2010-06-08T16:21:00.003+12:00

Jo and I were set to run the City to Sea walkway yesterday, a roughly 12k urban trail run, starting near Parliament and finishing on the rugged Southern coast. In the days beforehand Hamish and I had been in Auckland staying with friends. We'd spent a long night/morning on the dancefloor and then spent the rest of the weekend lounging around on their sofa eating, drinking and watching movies. To say it wasn't the best buildup for the run would be understating matters somewhat. I should really know by now that I can't do that to myself and expect to feel good!

On Sunday before we flew back down to Wellington our friend, who is a chiropractor, offered to help Hamish with some back issues he was having. He sees a chiro regularly down here but the night on the dancefloor had put things out and he was dragging his right leg. My right hip was still niggling so I decided to give this chiro stuff a shot as well. There was a lot of loud cracking, which felt really great at the time. She also did something to my ankles to free them up, leaving me feeling like I was moonwalking.

We had a curry for dinner on Sunday night, again probably not the best decision. I spent Sunday night dozing fitfully and suffered the kind of night sweats I haven't had in about a year. I woke up feeling queasy and unrested, but I was still excited about the run. I couldn't really stomach much breakfast but had a spoonful or two of porridge.

Outside it was drizzly but surprisingly not too bad. The wind was coming from the North and it was warmer than it had been. It was forecast to go South later that night, but we though we had hours before the gales kicked in. The plan was for us to run the trail then around the coast to a cafe in Lyall Bay, where Hamish would meet us with dry clothes.

The walkway starts with a short, sharp climb through a graveyard and into the botanical gardens. By the time we got to the top we were already shedding layers. From there we ran round the perimeter of the university then down into Aro Valley. A short climb then took us through a park and community gardens, then it was out onto the road again, then through a series of trails in Central Park.

Crossing through Central Park we emerged halfway down Brooklyn Hill, then crossed over and headed through Prince William Park and past the Scottish Harriers clubrooms. As we came out of the shelter of Central Park it became clear the Southerly had arrived earlier than expected. As we ran through Prince William Park it was rapidly getting darker. As we crested a hill we could see dark clouds moving in dramatically over the harbour, and it became clear we would soon be getting very very wet.

After the clubrooms we ran through a narrow section of singletrack in the pine trees. This section was undulating with lots of stairs and pine needles made it very slippery. As we came out on Hutchinson Rd the threatening rain started to bucket down. We traversed a steep and treacherous climb up a grass slope to the top of a hill in Macallister Park. If Hamish had been looking out the window he would have seen us running long the ridgeline. By this point I was soaked through, cold, and my glasses were both steaming up and covered in rain. I could see nothing.

We dropped down off the side of the hill then jogged around the edge of Macallister Park to the bottom of Farnham Street. The next section of the track skirts the edge of the Berhampore Golf Course before climbing up an impossibly steep trail to Tawatawa Ridge, then drops back down again into Island Bay. I've written before about that steep section of trail. I slipped over four times going down it a few months ago. I wasn't keen to try going up it in this weather, especially when I was running blind.

It didn't take a lot of agonising to decide to abort and walk the kilometre or so up Farnham Street to home. We were as wet as if we'd jumped in the harbour, and cold. We then treated ourselves to brunch in Lyall Bay. Driving around the coast we were very very glad not to be running it.

Later that day I developed a sore throat then my sinuses started to block. This morning I woke up shivering with cold and aching all over. I've also managed to wreck my lower back, which is very stiff and sore. It probably wasn't a good idea to try to do that run right after an adjustment. Sigh.

I got up to go to work but couldn't stop shaking so went back to bed. Around mid-day I started feeling too warm. My stomach is also feeling less than solid. I feel well and truly broken! Outside it's around 4 degrees with a wind chill of -1. There have been reports of snow squalls around the city. Ede has spent most of the day on my lap, Gaffer and Tissy asleep on the bed.

I'm hopeful I'll be well enough tomorrow to go back to work, and I'll get my back looked at by either my physio or massage therapist. I doubt I'll be running, unless I experience some kind of miracle recovery.

I was suffering too much out there to take any photos, but a few other bloggers have done so, including here and here. There's also a Flickr photo stream, though the last few are of central Wellington rather than the walkway. It was an amazing run, and I think it's incredible that I can be in our capital city and yet still have easy access to so many great trails. I will be doing this again!

Xterra Race Number 1: A Race Report!!!

2010-05-30T11:30:00.004+12:00

Wow, how awesome is it that I'm writing race reports again? Yes, it's true that I haven't been posting much here, but I am training again, and it's going reasonably well. For example, last Saturday I ran for an hour, on Sunday I spun for an hour, I ran Monday and Wednesday, did RPM on Tuesday and Thursday, did a weights workout and had a Duck session in Frank Kitts. Yesterday I ran for ninety minutes, which is the longest I've run in I don't know how long!

All of this has been done in the midst of some of the worst weather. There have been floods all over New Zealand. Wellington has had day on day of rain, freezing temperatures and bone chilling Southerlies. Somehow, however, I've lucked out and stayed fairly dry throughout my runs. I keep waiting for my luck to run out.

Yesterday the rain held off till we were minutes away from the end. The heavens opened up while we were having post-run teas and coffees and I fully expected that today we would get drenched. It continued to pour down all day and, after my run, I spent most of it on the sofa in tracksuit pants with a book. I did not believe I could possibly stay dry today. Against all probability, however, today was indeed rain-free. In fact there were even some blue skies. The wind, however, was strong and arctic.

I was signed up for the short course Xterra run today. The start of the race is only a couple of kilometres from our house. Given the conditions we were very grateful that a local school had agreed to allow us to use their premises for registration. As it was double the anticipated numbers signed up for the race, and we were all packed into a hall like sardines waiting for the start. The start was half an hour late.

The long, medium and short course races started about thirty seconds apart from each other, on Happy Valley Rd across from the school. Within minutes of going outside I was cold to the point of my teeth chattering. I was wearing a polyprop, t-shirt and windbreaker with a merino beanie. With my car directly across the road from the start I made a last second decision to ditch the windbreaker and put on my merino jacket. It was a decision I did not regret one bit, and the only time I got a little warm was as we ran back down the hill again.

The race starts with a roughly one kilometre run up a very gentle incline along the road to the base of the Tip Track. At the race briefing we were told most people walk the Tip Track, and this indeed proved to be the case. I have a new respect for my friend Jo who runs the thing! I ran the first 100 metres but then surrendered to the might of the crowd and slowed to a walk.

It took around 20 minutes to walk to the turnoff for the short course. The track was quite rocky and therefore not muddy, which was a small mercy. We were also sheltered from the Southerly. The track is very steep and my hip was hurting so I took it reasonably slowly. As the track snaked up the hill it was possible to see other runners (and walkers) far ahead, so it was best not to look, or instead to look down at the landfill below.

As we got to the turnoff we were hit by the full force of the wind. This part of the track wound its way along the ridgeline, with views out to the Cook Strait. The Southerly was whipping in fiercely and it was all we could do to stop ourselves from being blown off the side of the track. It was extremely exhilarating but the wind made my eyes water terribly so that it was also a little difficult to see!

The track turned into a mix of long grass and clay, deeply rutted and with young gorse growths that attacked and bloodied my ankles. I wanted to take the downhills faster but it was just too slippery and, after nearly going over, I resigned myself to a conservative pace. To add to that my vestibular disorder was manifesting visually by making everything jump up and down in front of me. This was disconcerting enough to slow me!

After a while we hit a gravel four wheel drive track and I was able to speed up a little. We wound up at some kind of signal shed, where we turned around and ran back up the track. The woman in front of me stopped about 20 metres of the turn around so I made it my mission to overtake her. I did so and never saw her again.

After the brief out and back the track turned sharply down the hill back towards Bata Street. This would have been a great section to have really opened up the pace but the gravel surface was more than a little treacherous. I zig zagged and chose my path carefully and kept my footing the whole way. It didn't take too long to get to Bata Street at all, given how long it took to get up to the ridgeline.

From Bata Street we turned right onto Happy Valley Rd again and ran down to Owhiro Bay. Here I decided to overtake a woman in front of me so put on a burst of speed. The last kilometre was flat, into the headwind along the coast to the Red Rocks car park. It seemed to take forever and I was ready for it to be over.

Finishing was rather anticlimactic. I ran over the timing mat and had my chip removed. We finishers were all huddled in the new display area in the car park, sipping on sports drink, sharing war stories and sheltering from the wind.

After I finished I found myself in an extremely good mood. I'd had an absolute blast. I had gone into the event not worried about whether I walked or where I placed. I'd enjoyed myself, I hadn't fallen over. I'd gotten out of bed on a cold winter Sunday and explored a rugged, exposed part of the city. This was an excellent race!

One of the Squad girls, Karen, gave me a lift back to my car and I drove happily off home. After a hot shower I'm on the sofa in my tracksuit pants again. The central heating is going. Hamish is cooking pancakes and bacon. There is cider in the fridge. Life is pretty good really!

Some Spin and a Run

2010-05-17T20:58:00.002+12:00

I was extremely pleased with how I felt after Saturday's run. I wasn't sore at all. I was, however, rather sleepy. I went to bed mid-afternoon and slept for a couple of hours. For someone who has battled sleep issues for the last seven months this was absolute bliss. I even woke up at one point with Ede perched on top of my hip. She'd crawled up there and I hadn't even noticed. That nana nap got me through a night out on the town, and I eventually got back to bed at 2.30am.

Naturally I also slept late on Sunday morning, not waking till nearly 9.30. Hamish made pancakes and I walked up the road for a paper, indulging in a little weekend laziness as the rain came down steadily outside. Mid-afternoon I got my lazy butt off to the gym for an hour of spin. I plugged in my hill playlist on my iPod and sweated it out for an hour. I didn't use too much dial - just enough to get my heartrate up a bit and to get myself a little sweaty.

As I was leaving I bumped into some friends preparing for a two hour charity RPM class, and there was a free bike. And the instructor was urging me to join them. However I had no fuel on me and the car park was closing before the class ended and, well, doing two hours of RPM after an hour of solo spin when I'm still on the comeback trail just wasn't sensible. It was hard to say no but I managed it. I turned around and hit the showers and spent the rest of the afternoon uploading a heap of new music onto the iPod.

The hour on what must have been a slightly badly set up spin bike did, however, aggravate my knee a little and I also woke this morning with a slightly sore back. I was feeling a little sluggish when I met up with the Squad tonight to do a few warm-up shuttle runs in Frank Kitts. It was another nice evening. It had been raining half an hour earlier but the rain had eased off and it was warm and still.

Tonight's run was a simple out and back - twenty minutes down to Spotlight and back. We were supposed to aim for a negative split on the return. I wasn't sure what my legs were going to do but to my surprise they decided they wanted to play. I felt strength tonight that I haven't felt since before the surgery. It wasn't just my legs either. I could actually feel my lungs expanding again.

The three speedy members of the squad got ahead of us as we passed Capital Gateway, but I found myself running with another young blond woman in the same pair of Adidas running tights. We kept pace with each other all the way to Spotlight, then when we turned around I picked the pace up a little and got slightly ahead. I stayed ahead until we were back at the railway station then she caught me at the lights and we kept pace again the rest of the way back to Te Papa. We slowed a little after we crossed the road back onto the waterfront as we started concentrating on conversation rather than tempo. However we put in a mini-kick from Frank Kitts to make it look like we were really working it. In the end we had a tidy negative split, which surprised me.

I'm going to have to keep an eye on this knee. I'm conscious that my fitness levels are quite possibly coming back more quickly than my muscle strength, and it's crucial that I don't allow myself to get carried away and injure myself. I'm also aware that I'm running in a different Adidas shoe from that I've traditionally used, and that may be a factor. However hey, I'm having fun.

I'm doing an RPM class in the morning and I'll either do a Balance class or some weights on top of that. Duck's discouraged me from racing back into the two-a-day workout habit I used to have. I still need to do weights, but I need to fit them in before or after the run, and do a trimmed down version of my former programmes. It is all still about moderation at this point.

My first 'long' run

2010-05-15T17:42:00.002+12:00

This morning I had my first 'long' run with the Jog Squad. The members who are training for a half marathon were meeting at 7.40a.m. to run for twenty minutes before meeting the 10k runners. I'm only planning on running the 10k in June, but a couple of the girls in the squad who run at my speed were going to be there for the early start and I decided I'd join them. I had no idea how well I'd do, as I haven't run for much more than half an hour in around eight months.

I had a couple of glasses of wine last night at work, but stuck to water once I got home. However I did eat a rather large serving of Dal Makhani for dinner and wasn't sure how my stomach would feel this morning. I've always been a notoriously bad morning runner, and have had a lot of early morning stomach issues.

I lay in bed all night listening to a steady downpour of rain, and it was still dark and damp when the alarm went off at 6.30. I lay there wondering what the heck I was doing! However sheer stubbornness got me out of bed. I made a small bowl of porridge and let that digest before heading out to meet everyone at Te Papa.

To my horror the two girls I was to run with didn't show. As Duck took off with the three 'speedy' runners I told them I'd just hang back. However all went well. I had no stomach issues and, after a creaky first few minutes, I found myself running at their speed and only about ten metres behind.

It was a good morning for running. The rain held off, there was a slight northerly and it was pleasantly mild. I ran with my windbreaker on in the wind, and took it off when it was sheltered. We really have been lucky with the weather so far this winter.

Our little group of runners headed up Kent Terrace and into the Basin Reserve. Duck sent the other girls on and she and I turned back slightly earlier. I realised I was feeling really good. I kept feeling good all the way back to Te Papa, where we picked up the rest of the group. It was a flat run this morning and we headed off round the bays. We ran twenty minutes out then headed back.

On the way back I got a second wind around Fisherman's Table and picked the pace up to pick off some other runners. By the time we were back at Te Papa I was ecstatic. We'd run around 10k and I could easily have kept going.

We headed off to Mojo for tea and coffee then I did a bit of grocery shopping before heading home. Hamish was just getting ready to head off on a job, so it felt like old times. After a shower and (for old time's sake) a pie and cider I spent the rest of the day alternating between reading and doing housework. At around 3.00 I curled up in bed and slept for a blissful hour or so.

I'm really happy with how quickly my fitness level is returning. It's tempting to sign up for the half marathon but my track record with the Harbour Capital event is not the best. I'd rather put in a good, solid 10k and focus on the Wairarapa Country Half later this year. It's good to be back though!

And now, for your viewing pleasure, the first of Gaffer's cat cam videos. Here he hangs out in the hallway before heading down the side of the house, into a neighbour's property, back across the bottom of our garden, into the neighbour's property on the other side of our house, and then heads up our stairs. In future installments he will wander widely through a range of strange backyards.

Tap Tap, Hello?

2010-05-14T21:40:00.003+12:00

Just a quick note to say sorry for disappearing, and yes I will be back. I owe you an update. To briefly summarise, I'm back running with the Jog Squad and have had three training sessions with Duck. My fitness levels are returning reassuringly quickly, even if it did take several days for me to be able to straighten my arms after our first workout in Central Park. Duck's also had the squad doing lots of high intensity stuff (hello eight stair climb repeats and eight hill sprint repeats) which is really helping.

Psychologically I'm doing a lot better, physically I'm learning to work around my vision and balance issues. I'm even considering attempting to get back on the bike. I'm also planning big. Hamish and I had always said we want to get out of New Zealand while the Rugby World Cup is in town next year. I've been looking for a convenient European marathon and it looks like Berlin might be a goer. I wanted to do a larger international marathon and Berlin has 40,000 participants, plus you get to run through the Brandenburg Gate.

As I'm sitting here it's raining outside on a surprisingly warm Friday night. After a couple of glasses of wine and a curry (not quite what I had planned) I'm hydrating in preparation for our first 'long' squad run in the morning. I'm going to run with the half marathon girls, even though I'm only planning on doing the Harbour Capital 10k. I'm confident I can hang with the slower members of the group over the distance, however opting for the longer run means I have to be at Te Papa and ready to go at 7.40. All that and Hamish and I are supposed to be going out tomorrow night. I have a funny feeling something is going to give!

Gratitude #50

2010-04-14T21:14:00.002+12:00

Today I'm grateful for RPM. Today was my first class in over six months and boy was it soooo good to be back. I'm not just talking about being grateful for being back on a spin bike. It was just so good to be back in the gym environment again. People kept asking me where I'd been and I had to say that I'd had surgery, while trying to avoid saying that it was brain surgery, cause that just all makes it sound too dramatic. Of course Fi (hi Fi) says that it was and is all dramatic. I guess so ....

Anyway, Jude was the instructor, Fi rode the bike next to me. She hadn't done a class in ages either so we were both feeling it. Poor Jude had to fall back on her iPod after the CD player died but did well to improvise on tracks she hadn't prepared. We had brand new spin bikes to play with, which was nice. They were very smooth and a lot quieter than the old bikes but I couldn't get the handlebars and seat close enough together so was very spread out.

I did still have to battle the vertigo on the bike but as long as I kept spinning and tried not to think about it I got by. It helped to close my eyes, oddly enough! I didn't put as much dial on as I could have but that was never the intention of this class.

There are times when I feel a million miles away from normal, but there are times like today where I think I can still get on with 'normal' life even without the feeling of normality. That makes sense, right?

Gratitude #49

2010-04-12T18:07:00.002+12:00

Today I'm grateful for emails from friends. I'm grateful for being stubborn by nature. I'm grateful for the wisdom to go easy on myself. I'm grateful for Google. I'm grateful for oversized red hoodies on cool nights, and for warm Drymax socks. I'm grateful for living vicariously through the lives of my colleagues, particularly the ones on the market for a new house. I'm grateful for Open2View satisfying my general nosy streak. I'm grateful for a glass of Pinot Noir in front of the television as I wait for Hamish to come home.

I'm grateful that I only have to wait a week before I see my Neurosurgeon again. I'm grateful for hope.

Gratitude #48

2010-04-11T21:06:00.002+12:00

Today I'm grateful for escaping a cold, overcast and windy Wellington for warm and sunny Paraparaumu. I got to sit on the side of the airfield while Hamish got three more glider flights under his belt. He's at the point where he's having to learn some scary stuff now. Today he was practising stalling (nose down plummeting towards the ground, gulp), and stalling while banking, then recovering. Today nearly made him vomit again!

Apparently he gets to practice pulling out of a spin next. Er, rather him than me.

Today I'm also grateful that the tow plane broke down AFTER his third flight, and before it took off with a first-time passenger in the glider. Poor guy had to go home without his flight.

We had a beautiful drive home with the setting sun turning the surrounding hills flame orange, gold and apricot. When we got home it was still cold but the weather had improved somewhat. All the same, it's pyjama weather!

Gratitude #47

2010-04-10T19:09:00.002+12:00

Today I'm grateful for waking up in time to wake H up so that he wasn't late for work. I'm grateful that it was such a nice day that I couldn't bear to stay inside. My running gear was at work so I stopped in at the office and got changed then headed out for a run. Today I ran while listening to Pitch Black on the iPod.

It was a stunning day today and a great day to be outside. There was no wind and the sky was cloud free. The fountain was spraying water in Oriental Bay and there were kayakers everywhere. The water was so clear that I could see the bottom for several metres out.

I walked down to the Meridian building then started running. I made it to Herd Street before I felt a 'ping' and felt a certain slumping feeling. One of my bra straps had come unhooked! I slowed to a walk and ducked into the toilets at Oriental Bay to put it back in place then started running again.

I ran round to Maidevale Rd then up and over and down Carlton Gore. I walked one tiny little stretch half way up but didn't really need to. It was a psychological thing. I wanted to take it easy on myself!

Once I got back to Freyberg I stopped to walk again planning to finish my run there. However that didn't last long as I wasn't really in the mood to walk. I started running again and picked up the pace till I was back at the Meridian building again. It was hot and I was sweaty and I even got a little sun burned, but I was happy.

I stopped off quickly at the NW Metro in the railway station then jumped on a bus home, ate left-over Channa Masala, showered, drank a cider and messed about the house for the rest of the afternoon. My metabolism went a little crazy on me and I wanted to inhale everything in sight but I limited myself to a little fruit.

Today I am grateful for running again!

Gratitude #46

2010-04-09T19:17:00.003+12:00

Today I'm grateful for my A & E visit. There was only one other person in the waiting room when I got there and I was taken to a cubicle within minutes. I was then promptly seen by a nurse, then assessed by a very sweet student doctor. She and another doctor then gave me a good work-up. The student doctor made a bit of a mess of taking my blood, but I didn't hold that against her. I was then taken quickly for a CT scan, where I was able to go straight in and didn't have to wait. The CT scan was very brief and I was then taken straight back to my cubicle. I dozed a bit (yes, actually slept without the aid of sleeping pills), and before long was assured that the scan looked fine and was allowed to go. So, no explanation for the headache, but at least I don't need surgery.

Outside I walked into a wind and cloudfree day. I walked into town for a late lunch then walked to a local fruit shop on Cuba Street. A bus arrived minutes after I got to the Victoria Street bus stop. When I got home Gaffer curled up on my lap and was still there when Hamish arrived home and ordered Indian.

Now I am back waiting for my Neurosurgeon, Neurologist and Opthamologist appointments. I'm grateful for being home tonight and not in a noisy hospital ward.

Gratitude #45

2010-04-08T19:04:00.003+12:00

Today I'm grateful for pain killers. I'm grateful for a beautiful autumn day and for a vegetarian chickpea dish for lunch. I'm grateful for the fact that I don't have to do anything other than lie here on the sofa tonight. I'm grateful that, whatever else is wrong with me, I don't have to languish on an organ transplant list.

Gratitude #44

2010-04-07T17:53:00.003+12:00

Today I'm grateful that I'm not sitting in a hospital waiting room right now. I'm grateful for the staff at my medical centre, including the receptionist, nurses and my GP. They organised to fit me in today even though they were booked out. I'm grateful for my GP giving me a bit of an examination and then leaving it to me to make the decision whether to head off to hospital or not. I'm grateful for pain killers.

I'm playing a waiting game now. Hopefully the pain will just go away and I can get back into recovery mode again.

Gratitude #43

2010-04-06T18:06:00.001+12:00

Today I'm grateful for being able to go home sick when my headache got too bad today. I'm also grateful for snuggly cats and curling up under a blanket on the sofa with a crossword puzzle and a bowl of tofu and rice.

Gratitude #42

2010-04-05T21:46:00.002+12:00

Well, yes, I missed posting a NaPoWriMo poem yesterday. I guess I've dropped out already. Talk about a major commitment fail. In my defense, I've had a headache since seeing Alice on Saturday night. To add to that, my eyes have been bothering me and a general laziness has overcome me as I've slipped further into holiday mode.

However this is a gratitude post, so here goes. I'm grateful for meeting Jo to watch the film Boy together yesterday. First off, I even drove there. Sure, it's just a couple of kilometres down the road to Brooklyn, but it's the first time I've felt confident enough to drive since I got out of hospital in December.

Boy was a wonderfully sweet film. If it's on near you I recommend seeing it, particularly if you were, as I was, an 80s child. It's worth it for the mash-up of Thriller at the end alone. It is a beautiful piece of New Zealand film making. The children are absolutely believable and totally captivating. It's definitely worth the hype.

I'm also grateful for the new Dr Who. I love him already. I know he was a controversial choice because of his age, but I think he was born to the role. I never thought I'd get over the loss of Chris Eccleston, then felt the same about David Tennant, so to be so impressed already is really saying something.

Today I'm also grateful for a beautiful late afternoon walk. The day had started off chilly and windy but by 3.30 the wind had died down almost completely and the sun was out. I wandered off at a gentle pace. Kingston was almost completely silent. It was as if there were no one left in the suburb and it was hard to believe we were minutes from the centre of the city. I walked to Tawatawa Reserve and my old friend the Stone Man. The sky was big and blue above me, with just enough cirrus and the odd cumulus cloud to keep things interesting. I had a little love affair with the clouds as I walked.

From Tawatawa Reserve I walked west past the statue. I was attempting to find a route down to Happy Valley. I think it's possible but the path, as I'd suspected, got ridiculously steep after a couple of hundred metres so I turned round and walked back to the ridge top again. I was surrounded by fragrant gorse. Everywhere there were little white nursery webs. Cabbage moths and Admiral butterflies competed with sparrows and pigeons for space in the sky. A hawk circled lazily above the reserve.

Heading back towards home I skirted the perimeter of the Montessori school, thinking there might be a path from the edge of the playing field. However I was out of luck so I returned back along the road. It was the time of day when cats come out to explore, though none wanted to play today.

My plans for this week include reactivating my gym membership and hopefully also making it to a session of Mao's Last Dancer. I'm hopeful my eyes will settle again and that this headache will recede. I refuse to expect otherwise.

NaPoWriMo #3

2010-04-03T21:24:00.002+13:00

Another Read Write Poem prompt. It's late and I just got home from seeing Alice in 3D. I have a headache and, although it's been a good day, I'm tired. I can't concentrate enough to write anything serious today. I thought about writing a haiku, but I'll save that as my get out of jail free card when I really need it later in the month. This is just a silly trifle, but it's another day ticked!

Fear
There were spiders
on the windowsill
and snakes on the floor,
Clowns in the hallway
and monsters behind the door.

She knew she shouldn't be afraid,
She knew she should be brave.
She knew that it was fear
That her darkest
Thoughts always craved.

So she kept on walking onwards,
She faced the demons in the night
She never let them beat her
And in the end she found
Her braver self was right.

The bats turned out to be birds
Flying free in the night sky,
The goblins turned to fairies
When seen in the first rays
of early morning light.

Gratitude #41

2010-04-03T15:49:00.002+13:00

Today I'm grateful for yoga. A workmate invited me to her class and, after a few drinks on Friday night it seemed like a good idea. This morning I was nervous, not just about attending a new class, but about my vestibular issues. However I've been feeling so much steadier this week that I thought it worth giving a go.

Well, vestibular problems turned out to be the least of my worries! I felt weak and inflexible, podgy and the sight of my hairy legs kept bothering me. However it was the best ninety minutes in a long time. The class was small, the studio was airy, and the instructor was incredibly sweet. It was all very laid back, there was laughter, and no one was taking themselves too seriously. I have a feeling my shoulders are going to be sore tomorrow, judging by the effort I was having to put into my Downwards Dogs and planks, but the relaxed back bends we did were fantastic.

After the class I met Hamish at the supermarket then we had a quiet brunch at the cafe in Brooklyn. Tonight we have tickets to Alice in Wonderland in 3D.

I'm thinking I want to reactive my gym membership, and I'm also thinking I feel like I'm slowly getting myself back.

Gratitude #40

2010-04-02T20:32:00.002+13:00

Today I'm so grateful for a long holiday weekend. I'm grateful for Hamish vacuuming then pouring me a glass of wine. I'm grateful for Easter eggs arriving in the mail. I'm relishing simply hanging around the house.

I'm also grateful for plans to try a yoga class tomorrow morning, although slightly nervous about the effect my vestibular issues will have. Hamish and I also have tickets to Alice in Wonderland tomorrow night.

NaPoWriMo # 2

2010-04-02T18:47:00.003+13:00

Prompt number two from Read Write Poem

Fall
In autumn leaves
collected in the rain
water pipe so
that when the clouds
came, cumulonimbus,
the gutters overflowed,
spilling in curtains onto
the veranda outside their
bedroom window.
They dreamed of
rivers, waterfalls,
the sighing of
tidal estuaries and
they woke each morning
with beads of moisture on
their brows.

Gratitude #39

2010-04-01T21:39:00.003+13:00

I am, once again, grateful for so many things today. So many that bullet points seem appropriate:

A full, busy and interesting day at work,
Reading - lots of reading,
Buses that came early when I was also early,
A Cuba street shopping mission,
Finding the right t-shirt,
A yummy rice roll for lunch,
Finding out that a poem I was given wasn't from the person I thought it was, creating more mystery,
Bumping into my old PT and agreeing to meet about starting training again,
Organising some work-related training, possibly in Auckland,
Being told by so many people that I look and sound so much better,
Staying at work till late drinking,
Eating heaps of potato chips, but everyone else eating just as many,
Enjoying the pie I ate when I finally did get home,
NaPoWriMo, and five fantastic songs shuffled on my iPod,
Gaffer and Tissy both joining me while I was in the shower,
Being just drunk enough to indulge in some caring and sharing at work,
Project Runway,
Weekend plans,
Yoga plans,
More reading.

NaPoWriMo # 1

2010-04-01T21:11:00.002+13:00

I can't believe I'm doing this, but here goes ....

Sister
Finally, my
sister madly,
found her premonition
was not so true.
The voices in her head
woke up the dead.
They dug up
something buried in
her head.
Strangers were
banging on her wall
from dusk and till dawn.
She found herself smiling.
Outside the shit was
coming down.
Unable to explain
she could not risk
her neck again.
Outside there were
four seasons in
one day, blood
like rain.
She could make no
predictions, there
was only the
immediate pain
of sleeping on her
unmade bed.
The voices in her head
spoke to her, asked
how she felt, was her
love real, then they
told her they
believed in her.
They drove her from
her town and
she knew she
would be back
no more.
One thousand miles
from home she still
believed. My
sister madly, she
believed in the dead,
and the premonitions,
and the fools, and
the dawn, and
her heart.
And finally, when
there was nowhere
else for her to go,
where she could fee
safe and sound,
finally,
she lay in the land.
She lay in
the land.
She found her name.
She found where
she belonged.
She rolled home.

This is very much a 'found' poem, in that many of the lyrics are directly from, or barely adapted from, the lyrics of the songs themselves. This was an interesting experience as the songs on my iPod at the moment are those that my husband loaded for me during my hospital visit in December. As such they were songs he knew I would like, but not ones that I had loaded myself. They were all fairly safe bets though!

NaPoWriMo #1 done and dusted.

Here are the tracks:

Sister Madly (Crowded House, live recording from the Recurring Dream album)
Dusk Till Dawn (Ladyhawke)
Four Seasons in One Day (another Crowded House track)
I Believe in You (Cat Power)
Lie in the Land (Fly My Pretties - another NZ band)

Gratitude # 38

2010-03-31T20:39:00.002+13:00

I'm grateful for fairly simple things today. I'm grateful for the amount of work that kept popping into my inbox today. I'm grateful for a good doctor's appointment. I'm grateful to all the people out there protesting against mining in national parks. I'm grateful for some down time to read "Mao's Last Dancer". I'm grateful for Laksa and a big glass of wine after work. I'm grateful for Tissy chasing a moth around the lounge. I'm grateful she left her dead rat out in the courtyard this morning rather than bringing it inside, and that Hamish got to the cat vomit in the hallway before I did. I'm grateful that tomorrow is the last working day ahead of a long weekend.

Gratitude # 37

2010-03-30T19:22:00.002+13:00

I had another good day today. I was busy and on task all day at work. I had coffee with my manager. I had a healthy lunch. My eyesight felt slightly better and the swaying was almost completely absent.

It was another lovely autumn day so at 5 o'clock I put my running gear on. I told myself I'd run at an easy pace and just see how far I could go. I decided to turn back at 2.5k. Well, I started running and I didn't stop. I put Bop on my iPod and pressed play, and disappeared into my happy place. I kept it fairly slow but I never felt like I couldn't have kept going. After the turnaround I started picking people off. Sure, I got overtaken at the Tuesday run finish line by the two lead 5k walkers, but they were caning it so I tried not to let it bother me.

I ran. Only 5k but it was a good start and I can build from here. This is, I think, what recovery looks like. I am grateful for running and I'm grateful for recovery.

One for the Ex-Pats

2010-03-29T20:47:00.000+13:00

Sam Hunt on the Cook Strait.

Grateful #36

2010-03-29T18:32:00.002+13:00

Today I am grateful for this house. We weren't looking to buy when we found it, just to see what the market was like. We had an apartment in Auckland to sell and six months still to run on a fixed term lease in Brooklyn. However from the moment we walked through the door (the second house on the first day of looking) we knew it was ours This house ticked all the boxes. It had two bedrooms, a large study, and a large bathroom with a bath and separate shower. It was quiet and private and on a dead end street so safe for the cats. It had beautiful views and the kitchen had been modernised. However, more than anything else, it just felt 'right'. It spoke to the both of us.

This house faces East, sitting high on the ridge in Mornington. Below us we can see Macallister Park, Berhampore, Newtown and all the way across to Eastbourne. We can't see a lot of harbour - just little slivers here and there, and if you crane your neck it's possible to see a little of the Cook Strait.

The Southerlies blow in off the Strait. They whip through Island Bay and Berhampore, then gather speed as they climb the hill. They hit the side of our house, slip underneath it and lift it on its foundations. A huge storm hit the night we moved here and we sat in the draughty bay window listening to the howling outside and wondered what we'd done.

The Northerlies hit our lounge. They blow against the line of trees on that side of the house and rattle the window frames. Most days it is too windy to open any of the windows very wide, expect for those in the kitchen, which opens onto the sheltered courtyard. If doors are left open at either end of the long hallway leaves will inevitably blow in and linger down its length.

A few times a year the wind stills. On those nights we roll the dining table out onto the veranda, light candles and sip on wine while surveying our domain. On still weekends I throw up nearly all windows, with the exception of a cracked window in the kitchen, a painted shut window in the lounge, and the bathroom window which is too high to reach. The big old sash windows let the outdoors inside, and the walls seem to fade away.

From this house the world can seem a million miles away. We can hear the planes here, but they are off in the distance and below us. We can hear them firing up at 6.30 in the morning, except for the foggy mornings that shut down the airport and envelop us in their thick stillness. A flight from Sydney arrives at around 11.30 most nights.

A neighbour's dog occasionally barks. The odd car winds along the road below us. The three teenage boys living next door hold parties a few times a year which always end early because their parents' bedroom is right above. In summer they and their sister swim in their pool outside our lounge and she fills the air with her shrieks. Most often, however, the only sounds to be heard are the calls of Tui and Kaka.

This house is nearly 100 now. Its foundations are questionable and the retaining wall below is on a definite slant. The floorboards are thin from borer and the lack of insulation in the walls means it gets freezing here in winter. It's dusty and untidy and ramshackle. Cat hair lingers in the bedroom and outside Ivy, Wandering Dew and Blackberry are competing for space with native trees in the garden.

We said when we'd move in that we'd repaint the pink feature wall in the lounge and the overly vibrant blue bathroom. However seven years on we're only just starting to bring home test pots. Most of what we have done has been the necessary - replacing a leaky roof and an equally leaky hot water cylinder. We've taken on the character of this house as much as it has taken on ours.

This isn't a home for extravagant entertaining. It's a place to retreat to. It's a place to watch clouds gathering over the Orongarongas, and to curl up with a book and a few cats. It's a place where two people can rattle around and indulge in their own individual obsessions.

I am grateful for this house. For all its faults it has been good here. I sit comfortably within its walls.

Gratitude #35

2010-03-28T17:47:00.002+13:00

I love early autumn. I love when the air is just cool enough to be crisp, where a long-sleeved merino under a long t-shirt feels cosy but not too cold or too warm. I love it when it's cool enough that my body slows down enough to feel ok about curling on the sofa. I love sitting here with our view over the mountains, Berhampore, Newtown and the Eastern suburbs. From here I can see the wind blowing in the Norfolk pine in our neighbours' garden. I can see clouds skudding through the sky - sometimes grey and threatening rain, sometimes clearing to a surprisingly clear blue. I can hear the odd wind gust in the line of trees along the northern side of our house behind me. In the study I can hear Hamish listening to a podcast while he plays some online game. The cats wander in and out and claim their little bit of lap space. On this slightly cool day my mental faculties feel refreshed. I indulge in a book of Barbara Kingsolver essays and the occasional TED talk. We have done our quota of housework for the weekend and there is nowhere I need to be, nothing I particularly need to be doing. Earlier today I planted out some cauliflower seedings into our garden. Now I sip on a glass of red wine, which warms me with its berry notes and its ruby tone.

Today I am grateful for idleness.

Gratitude #34

2010-03-27T20:38:00.002+13:00

Today I'm grateful for clouds. I'm reading about them in The Cloudspotter's Guide, by Gavin Pretor-Pinney. I love the word Cumulonimbus. It always reminds me of the Crowded House song "When You Come". While I was sitting here reading today I was watching the clear skies turning into a solid level of cloud. Tonight it's forecast to rain.

Today I received a copy of my neuropsychologist's referral letter to the hospital's consultant neurologist, the one who does vestibular testing. Her letter was so amazing it made me want to cry, or to hug her on the spot. She wrote of me as an accomplished, intelligent and determined woman, and she accurately documented my symptoms as I have described them to her. I am grateful for having such an influential ally on my side.

Gratitude #33

2010-03-26T20:52:00.003+13:00

Today I'm grateful for a narrow little inner city street filled with gorgeous little old houses. Wellington is a great place for that kind of exploring. It is full of secret little nooks and crannies and paths and shortcuts.

Gratitude #32

2010-03-25T19:32:00.003+13:00

I spent today feeling extremely conflicted. It was a gorgeous autumn day, the kind of day which should not be spent in an office or on the sofa. I had a bag full of running gear, but I was afraid to use it.

Two things finally tipped the balance. Firstly, I had a follow up appointment with my new optometrist and we redid the test I did with him three weeks ago. That showed that the light box I have been using is working, and my field of vision is greatly improved.

The second thing that tipped the balance was my friend Sarah urging me via email to get out there. If it weren't for her I would have just given in and gone home. Thanks Sass!

So after work I put on my running gear in a toilet cubicle at my office. The second I put my gear on I felt like I was coming home. I felt a little joy rising inside me just from the very act of dressing.

I grabbed my iPod with the first Couch 2 Five K podcast on it and headed down to the waterfront. The instructions were to walk for five minutes, followed by eight one minute running intervals with ninety second rests in between.

Today I was grateful for rediscovering lost territory. Today I saw poems from a poet's walk exhibition. I saw the Len Lye wind wand, and it sprayed water on me. I saw ducks, lined up in a row on a wall by Waitangi park, and swimming in the pond by Te Papa. I saw other runners, I saw two buoys with shark fins attached. I saw a kayak class. I saw a little sand-covered terrier running along the sand of Oriental Bay. I saw cyclists. I saw the Bluebridge Ferry heading out.

I ended up not sticking to the podcast's instructions. I was enjoying the music too much and marveling at how good I felt when I was moving, as opposed to when I sit or stand still. The more surprised and pleased I was, the more I wanted to run. Although I didn't today, I'm confident I could still run an easy 5k.

All of this makes me happy. All of this I am grateful for today.

Mid-Week Poem

2010-03-25T10:59:00.002+13:00

Finding Purchase
The dandelion seed
that blows in the wind
appears to have no direction,
no purpose to its travels.
Yet it carries with it
a single goal,
a sole motivation
to find purchase in
good soil and
to live.

I am not that seed.
I was travelling to
a clear destination,
and yet now I find myself
blown sideways, carried
on a sudden eddy.

So now I find myself
fighting to find purchase,
grabbing hold of any
blade of grass that
bends in my passing.

Now with no idea
of what I should be
searching for like the
seed I hold onto
a single goal, a
sole motivation
to find purchase in
good soil and
to live.

Gratitude #31

2010-03-24T19:23:00.002+13:00

Today I'm grateful for John Campbell's pink tie. I'm grateful for the beautiful, high apricot clouds in the sky right now. I'm grateful for being inside this afternoon when the afternoon deluge hit. I'm also grateful for a car ride home.

I'm grateful I don't live near one of the proposed national park mining sites, and I'm grateful I'm not one of the beneficiaries who is soon going to be expected to find work or have their benefit cut. I'm also grateful for not being either 'impacted' or 'affected' in the recent office restructuring. I'm also grateful for living in a democratic country where people can speak up against policy with which they disagree.

Gratitude #30

2010-03-23T18:10:00.003+13:00

Today I'm grateful for finally having the nerve to put my new glasses on, and for them not being anywhere near as difficult to adjust to as I was expecting. I'm grateful for all the issues that kept firing themselves at me today. I'm grateful for the 300m run in a long dress and high heeled boots, with bags over my shoulder, that got me to the bus just in time. Even if it did leave me panting much more than it should have done. That little sprint may just have convinced me I can try running again after all.

I'm grateful for all the usual things - especially food and wine. I'm always grateful for food and wine! I love having my appetite back. I missed it.

Today, most of all, I'm grateful for friends.

Gratitude #29

2010-03-22T19:55:00.002+13:00

Today I am grateful for finally going through my poems and realising how many good ones there were.

Gratitude #28

2010-03-21T18:52:00.002+13:00

Today I'm grateful for watching young boys practicing soccer at the local primary school. I'm grateful for the young Indian dairy owner, who recognises me now. I went there to buy some garlic today and she asked me what I was cooking. When I told her I was making a curry she started running through a list of ingredients. She is incredibly sweet. I'm also grateful for the curry - chickpea and potato, which is hotter than I'd intended but will provide me with lunch for most of the week. I'm also grateful for finally remembering to listen to the Richard Dawkins podcast I've had opened in a tab in Firefox, and for watching a fascinating TED talk on the neuroscience of vision. It's been a lovely, slightly humid day.

Gratitude #27

2010-03-20T20:16:00.003+13:00

Today I'm grateful for a walk in the sun, and for cheerful taxi drivers. I'm grateful for cauliflower cheese and salad from the garden. I'm grateful for an afternoon spent reading, and for scanned honeymoon photos. I am grateful for yet again feeling a little bit better.

Oh, and I'm especially glad for the gift of a book written by a dear friend, arriving in the mail.

Gratitude #26

2010-03-19T22:34:00.002+13:00

Yet another good day. I am grateful for drinks after work. It seems such a small thing - feeling well enough to relax with my colleagues. Not so long ago I couldn't relax, let alone sit there socialising and drinking Riesling. Laugh? Joke? All possible again. Plus my laptop no longer falls off my lap when I'm sitting here.

It possible I may, indeed, be starting to get a little better.

Gratitude #25

2010-03-18T18:50:00.002+13:00

Today I am grateful for good meetings, and for writing a paper for our project board. I'm grateful that I'm enough of an interesting case that the two optometrists I've seen since the surgery discuss me at their get-togethers.

If I don't get better it won't be from the lack of exploring all avenues!

Gratitude #24

2010-03-17T19:29:00.003+13:00

Today I am grateful for a whole day of meetings, for conversation on the bus, for the particular warmth of an autumn sun, for Pinot Noir, for homemade chicken pie, for central heating, and for feeling today that I might, honestly, be a little better. Just a little, but I'll take it.